I have truly treasured the support and friendship from everyone in the
past year of my life. It’s been overwhelming, and to be blunt, surprising to
me. There are sources of inspiration and support that have come completely out
of left field. People have shown up to assist, pray and be there for me that I
never even thought I’d be able to see or speak with again. And there are those
that I’d assumed I’d have their undying support throughout my life, that were
nowhere to be found and that I had to practically beg to make time to catch up.
These are not indictments – just facts.
As many of you are intimately familiar with, for the past several years
I’ve suffered a lot of overall health and wellness issues. Many of my closer
friends know the, at times arduous, journey I’ve been on with regard to my
health and my digestive disorders. Those that are closest to me know the
miraculous recovery I’ve been given, and how that action has been instrumental
in reconciling my faith, my spiritual and emotional journeys as well.
I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and to God, for all of
the magnificent and, honestly, wondrous works in my life, I give thanks. The
place I was last April, one short year ago, and where I was six months ago…
sitting in a doctor’s office, with a death sentence on my head. I’ve made
magnificent strides. The cancer (yes, the Barrett’s esophagus had become
cancerous), my hiatal hernia, the ulcers, and the perforated esophagus from
advanced GERD have all been cleared by my physicians.
Let me be clearer: All. Of. It.
The testimony I am able to give is one of not only one of me working
with my physicians, and the real, true struggle of trying to eliminate toxins
and poisons from our current societal lifestyle. But it is a testimony of true
miracles. At least two, if you count things that neither I, nor my doctor could
have done or did. I think the daily struggles and the strength, willpower, and
ability to get up and face the day were miracles, too. That’s not for me to
split hairs on. Regardless of your belief structure, regardless of your faith
and what it allows you process in your own mind - mine has made me whole. What
should have occurred, didn’t. What shouldn’t have occurred, did. And even my
wonderful doctor is now asking me about this God that I keep talking about. Why
am I so adamant that I don’t generalize the name of God, or give credit to just
any old spirit up there, and I keep calling him Jesus? Why am I so quick to
give credit when medical science cannot answer my questions? (I never meant to
be someone else’s catalyst, or testimony, but I suppose my plans are not always
the ones that matter.) I can’t answer the theology of it all. And even my depth
of knowledge and scripture isn’t adequate in the face of what is being
described by two of my doctors now as a miracle. Here is what I know: The
pictures of my esophagus and stomach today are that of a model, healthy adult
male vs the ones that resembled ground turkey that needed to be removed and I’d
have feeding tubes and require specialized pills and diets forever. I have
always heard of things like this happening. And I’ve joked with several of you
that it always happened to someone else. If you were a Bourn, or if you were a
Craft, or that one girl at Jr. Camp’s Roomate’s Sister’s Friend got healed. We
all tell and retell those stories. It’s so different when God touches you
personally. I had made peace with dying. I really had. I thought I’d not have
the surgery, I’d not treat the cancer, and I’d made peace that I’d squandered my
calling, my anointing, and my gifts, and that I’d likely go to hell. I guess
those plans of mine were also not exactly what God wanted. What a difference 6
months, the Lord, and prayer can make!!
Some of you have been precious to me during this time. You listened and
stood by during my struggle in quitting smoking, quitting unhealthy and
disastrous eating and drinking, and even with my sedentary to active lifestyle.
The struggle was real, y’all! Those of you, know who you are, and you are very
dear to me! The encouragement you have given during the surgeries, the extreme
eating and monitoring plan – you’ll never know how much it meant. You were even
kind, when I wasn’t. My god, who knew that detoxing and the wild restrictions of
food, drink, and vice would make me so irritable and cranky! I still can’t walk
by someone smoking a menthol cigarette without tearing up and wanting to beg
for just one puff! And even though I can have some wine or some clear liquors…
I can smell Jager or think of a Jager Bomb and I still miss it! Those late
night phone calls where I questioned God’s reasoning and why I was “having to
deal with all of this spiritual crap” mean the world to me now. The fact that
God would even wake me up and deal with me still freaks me out. And it still
makes me want to smoke. Isn’t it crazy how even when clean and sober and having
detoxified the body… our minds still want what would hurt us! To those that
listened to me whine and complain, to those that listened to me go through all
of this and question my sanity and spirituality… to those that stood beside me
during the death of my sweet Mamaw Sue during all of this… you will never know
what it means to me, and I don’t think I can adequately repay you.
The end of it is not over. I had kind of hoped it would be. I thought, “Oh,
Great… I’ll get involved with a local church, work, and tithe and just kind of
build a great little life.” Oh, if only God would just do what I say, and
listen to the plans and designs I submit!!! But that, too, isn’t meant to be. It
has been an amazing 6 months since October, my diagnosis, and my release from
what would have been certain death to this new lease on life. God gives old men
like me dreams and visions still…
I no longer despise the life given me. I no longer despise the hard
times that brought me to where I am today. I no longer laugh in the face of my
callings. I no longer rail and rage against the inevitable submission I must
make to God for all He’s done for me. Yes, my life is important to me… my
life’s work is important to me… But how I pay my bills is becoming less
important to me, because I want to make a life not just a living. I want to
leave a legacy besides that of only the drudgery of what I’d allowed my life to
become. Success has a price...
I wasn’t happy…
My body wasn’t happy… My spirit wasn’t happy…
And they all began to shut down. It took a crossroads. It took a death
sentence. It took a miracle.
What happened after that is something at which I can only marvel. I
prayed. I, simply, quietly, and directly, prayed. Now, I am a great designer,
planner, and coordinator – but, I could not have planned and coordinated the
next steps my life is going to take. The meticulous dovetailing of
professional, personal, and ministerial projects and partners came together in
a way that I could never have imagined, much less asked for, and worked toward…
I have been blessed with talent. I have been given a mind and memory that scare
some people. I have been given the ability to communicate verbally and with
writing. And God has seen fit to allow my work, my career, my skillset, my
expertise, my family, my talents, my passion, and my gifts to all met at one
crossroad. I get emotional when I truly think of the next steps and projects. I
want to make even more proactive and positive steps in my own life and thus,
I’ve decided to restructure my life.
All of this has been leading to this announcement and this
proclamation: I’ve quit my current job, and will be altering my career path,
effectively. As in, effective immediately, effective permanently.
I’ve been privileged to start my own company, Kennedy Solutions, and I’ll
be fortunate enough to be working with government and working with public
healthcare. It’s an expertise I’ve acquired along the way. I’ll still be working
with Federal and State programs – but I am committed to working with integrity,
honesty, and expertise. I’ve already been blessed to secure contracting and to
finalize all of the paperwork (prior to any announcements, thus the wait and
the teasers.) And once a few things started rolling, even more contractors and
people wanted to partner and connect to begin doing good work, that we are
proud of, in a way that benefits both us, our government, and people. We are
doing creative consulting… we are something different!!
Kennedy Solutions has also been invited to participate in national
initiatives due to our experience in Healthcare, Nutrition and Wellness. I have
to admit, we have a unique and personal perspective when it comes to wellness
and taking care of the body through holistic nutrition.
And here is where God is just hilarious, and where my personal dreams
(dreams I’d given up on) have come true: We will be doing non-profit work with
both ministry and pastoral programs. I’m fortunate enough to where I’ll be in
partnership with my parents and family on projects. This is exciting because my
“dad” has talked to me about some of my theological and writing ideas. The fact
that I’ve been offered a partnership and a book deal on a theological series is
very humbling (Zacchaius, #IBGAS, and my testimony). My mom and I have decided to partner on a music project, and I’ve
been blessed to be invited to participate in ministry with a local church in
the Tampa Bay area.
Oh! And, certainly not least, we have been working with Google on fun
tech projects and have just secured the next phase of working through wearable
technology! We are excited to announce that we are partnering with Google on
wearable tech and government and healthcare!! It’s crazy how one moment of fun
and a seemingly harmless meeting a year ago has turned into a new part of our
career and project goals. We will also be working with Microsoft right here in
Tampa on win8 and government solutions… I’m even getting the opportunity to
further my education and fulfill a personal lifelong dream of obtaining a
terminal degree! (Working on my doctorate!)
I don’t know what everyone else is going through. I don’t know if some
will consider this post conceit, or bragging. I can’t really be bothered with
how it will be received. I’ve been bursting inside to share the Good News of
what has been going on, and just couldn’t until contracts and business was
completed. But, I do know this… the more I have relinquished my own plans, and
the more I have given to God, the more I’ve received… and in ways I’d have
never been able to design or contemplate. Let that galvanize your faith today.
Maybe you are sick – well, I’ve been there – bolster your own faith and watch
what God can do, when you actively participate. Maybe you have a dream –
exercise your faith, and give it to God, even when losing that control is
scary, and watch the hand of God move in your own life.
One of the great men I’ve known, T.L. Craft, said “if you make God’s
business your business, God will make your business His business.” And that’s just
true. I’ve never understood just how true until recently.
You cannot outgive God.
You cannot outserve God.You cannot outpace God.
You cannot outlove God.
I am blessed beyond measure.
Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ
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