On Negativity

Look, some people are just negative. They are hard-wired to see the fault and see if and how it affects them first. That will always be their first reaction and their default setting.

It doesn't mean they aren't kind people, or even good-hearted or fun-loving, but... BUT, that trait will always show up. They will always find the one note missed in a beautiful song of thousands of notes. They will always find a way to be stressed or unhappy, even in the best of circumstances that so many others would consider a dream. If they have food, it's the wrong kind... if they have water, it's not what they wanted, if they have a roof, it could be better. If they are dieting, it's the worst ever. If they have lost weight, it's not enough. They will always want more and more and more... whatever it is, it could be better or different. They are just never going to be satisfied.

So, stop trying.

Life your life. Do what you are going to do. Go where you are going to go. Let them come, or not. Let them join, or not. They will be confused and hurt when you retreat or don't always seek to include them. And rightly so, either love them or don't love them. But don't be their "sometimes" friend. But, under no circumstances are you required to cater to them or ensure their happiness is secured ahead of your own.

The world is a big, beautiful, fun place - and even with the horrors that hit us daily - it's still great to be alive and sentient and able to pursue your passions and life paths. Do not let someone else hinder and derail that. Invite them along, but don't stop for them.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

The Secret of Contentment – Part Two

This is the second blog in a series of finding your contentment. In the first part, The Secret of Contentment – Part One, I was (upon re-reading it) somewhat negative. And it can read like it was imploring you to believe the worst in everything. And, after careful review, I was still completely correct; if however, a bit blunt and straightforward. Also, notice I said this is about “finding” your contentment. Contentment isn’t made, like there is a recipe; it’s found. It’s already there; like it’s buried treasure. Obviously, I get impassioned when I speak about topics, but I like passion.

[I like loving life again. Being close to the grave will do that to you.]

I like being “involved” in my own life. That makes me happy – makes my life an enjoyable and never-boring endeavor. It’s better to be involved than to feel like your life is unmanageable and that you are just drifting along a current, which you can’t do anything except hold on and worry. But, I am beginning to understand that not everyone operates that level of activity, care, and that level of interest. I even “get” why. It can be quite exhausting to always be high-functioning. But, being that involved and doing the things I do are part of my contentment. It reminds me that I am no longer a passive viewer of my life. I don’t merely watch what others do to me, and then wonder why I feel powerless. I don’t merely allow the course of my life to be directed by external circumstance, and then wonder why I feel lost and confused. William Carey was a great preacher that noted, “Expect great things FROM God. Attempt great things FOR God.” I love that. When you are active in your life, you become better informed about your life.

[Re-read that.]

Yes, when you take part in your life, you are better informed. You make better decisions. You make better choices. You lay the foundation to be content… even if you are not “there,” you can be content in the journey towards your goals. However, aimless drifting? No. No plans or cares about where you end up? No. No way to have system of “roots” in family and friends to support you and remind you of who you really are? No. Like Carey implied, God will give you great things. You will do great things. Believe that. Live like that. Once you do, you’ll be amazed at the things that start happening in your life and the sense of self, sense of purpose and sense of contentment that flood you, and your situation.

I will further use this to elaborate my point: “But, Michael, how can we be content in this day and age? If you are not exceptionally thin, ultra-rich or uber-talented… you can hang it up. Right?” Wrong. In the age where everything is a superlative, is anything really special? Everyone takes a picture of every meal and every cup of coffee and posts it. They claim it’s the BEST they have ever had. Most people live in such un-noticed luxury that they don’t realize they get depressed when they live a “normal” day. If you just get up, pray, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, go to work, go to happy hour, meet friends, go home, eat dinner, clean your house and get ready to do it all over again… THAT is suddenly drudgery. That USED to be the American Dream. Now, if you are not strikingly good looking, eating, drinking and wearing the best and taking a private car to a friend’s Lear and jetting off to some exotic locale, then your life isn’t great and you are not “successful.” And I buy that to a degree. I balk when I fly coach. I balk when I have to wait more than four minutes for a gourmet coffee that used to be my whole week’s lunch money. We look at what media sells us as the top of success. That’s a minimum of looking a certain way, making a certain amount of money; living is a certain amount of square footage, and then UPPING that amount annually. We raise the bar every year so that where we were a few years ago (perfectly happy with our lives and friends) we would now not be content. Some might say, “Michael, you have to strive for more, for better, right?”

If you read the first part of this, I leave us with hope in Christ after I point out a pretty bleak landscape. But, let’s take this down a notch… from national politics and personal responsibility for national epidemics in murder, morality, and finance to your church experience, to your personal experience.

We, as a people lash out at society because we are unhappy personally. We crave attention, recognition, and we want to be involved. But, involvement is something that isn’t always a “right.” Sometimes you need to earn your recognition. And what if you don’t get what you feel you “deserve.” What of your contentment then? What is your motivation? What is your initial drive? How and why you begin something will lay the foundation for the peace you experience during any project, and will also drive the contentment you feel upon completion.

--Do you have to feel heard?

--Are your voice and your opinion the only “right” one(s)?

--Do you need to have your vision accomplished for the project to be a success?

I ask these for very pointed reasons. Whether in business, in the organization of a church, or even in your social circles… people take these things seriously. People, yes, need to feel heard. But that’s from a managerial standpoint and ensuring that you value people. That’s HR and business 101. But there is a converse… why volunteer if your main goal is recognition? Why let pride and the need to be in control be the reason you feed hungry people? Why let the need to feel valued and talented be the reason you simply MUST be a praise singer, even if you miss one Sunday a month and there are faithful, more talented singers that would truly worship vs. be on platform? Why let your service be diluted? Re-ask yourself those same questions:

--Do you “have” to feel heard? Or are you content within yourself that you are on your best path? Do you need that validation, or can you have the confidence in yourself that you have given your best?

--Are your voice and your opinion the only “right” one(s)? Do you accept collaboration? Are you open to others’ advice or opinions? If you are not open, why? What is empty inside you that you must be the savior of a project? What is driving the need for you to have the only valid opinion?

--Do you need to have your vision accomplished for the project to be a success? If things that are not your way, or your vision for a project, a ministry, an outing, where to go eat, what movie to watch, where to vacation, etc… if any of the things are not your vision, why is that wrong? Not just finding consensus and realizing that we must all compromise from time to time, but if it must always adhere to your way, why? There is something missing if you need that constant control to be content.

I say something is missing because there are people that cannot function if any kind of deviation is taken. You ask for a day off, the boss says, we need you this day, but here is another. That’s never good enough. Or, you offer to do x, y, and z at church, but they have plenty of people that volunteered for that. So, can you help here? No, no… that’s not what they want to do. I suppose I could say this: Not EVERY person is meant for EVERY ministry. Contentment is not only doing your best, but knowing your place. I will never be happy teaching children’s church. I’d rather go ahead on and be crucified with the Lord than wipe noses, explain why sharing is important or pretend that a handprint is a turkey. Literally, I’ll just go ahead to Glory. Now, if God called me to do it, and God convicted my heart, and God put that in my path… I’d do it. And if, in fact, there was a vacancy and I was asked to help, then I would. But WHY would God make a hand or an eye be a foot? Somebody that loves children, can answer 8072 questions about why, why, why, and would be a perfect fit would be God’s best choice. Likewise, I have talents to do lots of things, and when called upon or asked, I do them. That’s what God expects. And then there are your callings. When God calls you do something, you may not love it in your own strength, or your flesh, but you may love that you feel like you are in God’s will. That may be motive enough. I say all of that to say this… you’ll be content, if you know where you are supposed to be, and you are working to be there. I don’t love to sing tenor, but I get put there a lot. Why? I can hear tenor and sing it. I’d rather sing lead or bass. I don’t love piano, but I play piano a lot. I am good at piano. I am better at piano than keys, strings, or organ. However, I LOVE to play organ. Organ music is my passion. I could listen to it on recordings, I could play it, I can hear it live. It touches me. It’s something I just lean in towards. But generally, I am usually singing or playing piano. I LOVE to be in small group Bible study and talk for hours at coffee shops, but I’m usually in choir or on the road… And God uses me daily on the road to reach people I’d normally never reach. So, do I pout? Do I complain? No. It’s not about me, or my preference, or even my “likes.” It’s not about you. I don’t just absolutely LOVE doing technical reviews of systems, but it’s something I’m good at, so it usually just gets handed to me, regardless of the team I’m working with. Working where you are needed and filling needs are not always something that we are passionate about. It’s not always this thing where we run through a field of flowers, feeling fresh, and the temperature is 72 degrees with the perfect sunny day and low UV, and minimal cloud cover and… and… and…

[Nothing is perfect, nothing is set.]

But… are you where you need to be? I didn’t say “want.” Are you… YOU… where YOU need to be? If you are not where you need to be, are you moving towards where you need to be? There is no failure in not being there yet, because you can’t have failed until you are in the grave, having never been where you should have. But, that’s not my point. My point is… are YOU taking an active part in the direction of YOUR life? Are you working towards your callings, your passions? Or are you only stressing? Do you get stressed and worried over whether every whim and like you have are filled?

[Shut up, Michael.]

You know exactly what I mean. You did a great job on a report at work. You did your part perfectly, and your team members did great on theirs. The project gets kudos. Is the team getting a “good job” good enough? Or do you need to be called out and recognized? I know people that will need a plaque of recognition and to be especially noted, or they will literally talk about it for the next one hundred meetings. We all like recognition, and we all like words of affirmation, but you need to take a realistic look at yourself… if you are a team member, and the team gets kudos… that’s yours, too. Or if you were the leader, or contributed significantly more, I could see wanting it. But usually, those people share the recognition anyway. As a leader, I always pass credit to the team, I couldn’t do it all without them. Contentment is not complicated. Contentment is knowing that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, when you are supposed to be doing it, and doing your best at that. You will not be content, and you should not be content if you are calling in your performance, and allowing every circumstance to buffer you about your own course of life. But, don’t despair. Contentment is possible. It’s attainable, but it’s not cheap, it’s not free, and it’s not something you trip and fall into.

[What do you mean it’s not cheap?]

The most expensive thing you can do is take responsibility for yourself. It’s hard. It costs time, effort, and sweat. But you have to take responsibility for yourself. Granted, and I mean this facetiously, but there is a grain of truth, “It’s not your fault you want to sin, you were born sinful.” That is a true statement. It is NOT your fault you want to sin. Sin is fun. Sin is abundant. Sin is prevalent. Sin is readily available. God understands that you are sinful… God understands this so much that He prepared multiple ways over the passage of time to reconcile your sinful nature with Him. He made a garden. Nope, we couldn’t do that. We need that fruit from that tree and we needed that confirmation. Granted, I don’t delve into the complex theological issues at work there. There are HORDES of people that blame God anyway. Yet, regardless of what happened, and regardless of the blame game and the fact that HE receives the majority of the ire and vitriol from this, He reached out and created a system by which he had a people. God still reached out. They were HIS people. And we still couldn’t cope. Thanks, God, for the system of sacrifice, and thanks for claiming us and working with us, but… how about no. We heard about the garden and we are pissed. So, He wiped the face of the Earth clean. He repopulated and worked with mankind to establish boundaries and work through prophets. We killed them. We rejected them. We stoned them. He was silent. He “took a break” from His relationship with man, if you will. Well, we didn’t like that either. So, “his” people decided they’d set up some rules, and see who could be the best. But, it turns out, that Type-A-law-lovers did not mind learning the rules and pointing out every behavior that our neighbor could not abide.

[NOTE: Have you ever stopped to consider if the Pharisees were happy? Were they happy with their prayer shawls, special knots, and rules? Do you think they enjoyed the ritual, or did they long for a relationship? What was the need to watch every law, but not have it inside? Lots of people follow the rules, but they don’t have the relationship. You may have a standard, but do you have the substance?]

God, regardless of omniscience, created a system by which to atone for sin. And think about how that feels. You people in bad relationships know how that feels. When your partner or spouse is cheating and you know it. You KNOW something is coming. Something bad is coming, but you can’t stop it. You can’t control them, they won’t be honest, they lie, and you feel it. You know it. But it just keeps coming. God knew we’d cheat on him. God knew we’d abandon Him, not the other way around. Nope, we couldn’t keep up. He saw our struggle. He saw that we could not make it. Enter Jesus. Enter the divine, holy, eternal Creator wrapped in flesh. God came to Earth, lived as a man through Jesus and became the ultimate atonement for our sin and separation from God. We, lost and hopeless, cannot become good enough within ourselves. You will never be content if you think YOU have the power to save yourself. You will never be content if you think YOU have to change yourself, and become “good enough” to commune with God. You will ruin your efficiency and affectability within the Kingdom of God if you think YOU have any worth in and of yourself. Your contentment will be based in the flesh, and you will never be satisfied. You can’t grow your hair long enough, you can’t be strict enough, you can’t have enough liberty, you can’t prove that you don’t have to obey man, you can’t prove that you do, you and your ideas and your thoughts and your efforts and your results will NEVER be the answer. If you only depend on YOUR strength, you will fail. God is the answer. God has the power. God has the reason.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unworthy, you are loved.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unwarranted, you are saved.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unmerited, you are favored.

Yet, we want an out for the blame of sin. We blame God for our nature. We blame Eve, because surely… it’s her fault that we are in this mess, right? Or, let’s blame Adam. He should have led his family better or maybe if he had Adam, or a combination. Feminists will always say Eve got a bad rap. Men feel justified in saying that it’s a woman’s fault that we all don’t live in paradise and run around “nekkid.” But that’s high level. You don’t want to submit to a pastor, because he’s only human, even though God uses humans to accomplish the divine.

[Okay.]

You don’t want to follow personal convictions because they are inconvenient – even though no one has forced anything on you. That’s why they are called “personal” convictions. You don’t want standards of holiness because you feel they are man-made to make women suffer – so you follow them but you are bitter and might as well be running the aisles in thongs and cut hair if that’s your attitude. Sacrifice and standards mean nothing without substance behind them. Just like substance can be there, but if you feel even a twinge of conviction… you should have some real, hard talks with God about what you need to do in your life. But we are told NONE of this is our own fault, our own problem. We carry no responsibility. Why do we even preach repentance for sin, if we don’t really commit sin? Why should we talk about how “we try hard and that’s what matters” when the fact is. Your thoughts, your beliefs, and your hope does not equal what you DO. What you DO matters. What you DO is what is real. We distance ourselves from the confrontation and the difficult. If God comes on too strong, we chalk that up to “bondage” and need a pill to calm the anxiety we feel. I know several holiness, pure-blood, born and raised, xth-generation Pentecostals that can’t make it through a service without a mood stabilizer. They don’t love it. They don’t want it. And that’s not contentment. That nagging feeling in the back of our minds… we can’t name it, we cannot pinpoint what is causing it, we just feel “off.” Something is amiss. Something is not right.

[Duh. It’s God.]

We’ve been told that it’s some type of instability, anxiety, or even just that we can’t focus. But, you think your conscience is just an overactive guilt complex that society made? Will taking that pill really help you? Do you think that voice from God, guiding you is insanity? I mean, you really know what this is, right? There is a difference between someone that is truly mentally ill (that needs meds), and someone that is just too ill-equipped and lazy to confront their own emotions and internal relationship with themselves and with God. And you have to be confident in know that difference. How will we EVER be content in this world, in this chaos? How can we find any peace and contentment when everything we are surrounded by is built to make us unhappy with ourselves and need to spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to fill voids we can’t fill to find peace we can’t create? We can’t. We won’t. Not of ourselves and not “within” ourselves. But I am going to go through Philippians chapter 4 and show you that regardless of your circumstance, regardless of your situation, regardless of where you find yourself – you can be content. You can have peace.

Part Three is coming…

ツ✔ Cheers, #JustBeingMichael ツ

Father's Day...

Father’s Day is bittersweet for me.

I’ve never been close to my father, but I have a great Dad. I have two great dads, from different walks of my life. My natural father isn’t someone that I always understand, even though I can’t help myself from loving him and wanting him to love me. And I have a “dad” that is, admittedly, a great man and would do anything for me, but holds the old-school-hardline-tough-love stance on fatherhood. He’s great.

Father’s Day is a wonderful day. Make sure you are celebrating your accomplishments spent in time and energy with your child. Any man can be a sperm donor. Any man can have intercourse, successfully inseminate someone and be the DNA that some child shares. Not everyone worries, prays, cries, tries, sacrifices, and gives of themselves to their children. Don’t lose the trust that your child has in you. Trust me, once you do, it’s nearly impossible to get back.

We never forget. We don’t forget broken promises, even if you had “good reasons” in that moment – even if your boss is hard on you. We only see that you missed our piano recital. We notice every time you seem embarrassed of us. No, we can’t play sports that well, but we sang every Sunday in church and could pray the paint off of a wall. We weren’t the ladies’ man you were, but we did pick up the spiritual baggage you left us and have to fight against using people for physical comfort and have a daily vigil against building walls against people. But we never forget the good either, that’s why we always get hungry for more. We hang on every look of pride; we hang on every word of encouragement. It ruins us for male authority figures and wreaks havoc in our relationships because we are always seeking some kind of approval from someone that could take us or leave us. Someone that loved us, but somehow that love was either too much, not enough, or caused enough hurt that we backed away.

I have a great man that loves my mother, and works with me – as I am – to make our family work. I love him for that. Plus, he ended up making one of my favorite friends a sister to me. I am grateful for that. His example is what made my heart soft towards male authority and father figures again - soft towards my Father, and THE Father. I always hated God as the Father because I couldn’t comprehend a Father’s love being “good.” I’m grateful I witnessed that, and have now experienced that – even if it was later in my life and after years of wondering and wandering. My Dad is who gives me hope that one day I can make amends and have some type of relationship with my father. He already gave me hope about my Father.

EPILOGUE: And as always, I never let even ONE Father’s Day go by where I don’t give my MOTHER the credit for the man I am and for the prayers and love. She was both father and mother to me. She was both cheerleader, role model, disciplinarian and “dad” during the years where my father was “finding himself.”

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

An Open Letter to My Girlfriends...

This is an open letter to my girlfriend(s). You are an amalgamation of many types of women. You are not singled out. You are not being put on “blast” or notice. But I want to speak to “you,” if you can consider yourself a collective, a group, a “you.”

I love you. I think you are great. I think that you have unique, special qualities that no one else will ever have. I think your eyes are beautiful. I think that the way you carry yourself is unique. There will never be another human being like you on the face of the planet. You could be someone’s twin, and your unique and personal perspective of the world is still your own. You are the only you that will ever exist. I want you to know that I see you. I do. I really, truly, and honestly “see” you.

Having that sight and being in a sympathetic, but “outside-looking-in” perspective, is hard. I see you, but I am powerless. I see your struggles, and yet, I cannot tell you how to navigate them perfectly. I want to offer support, but without directing you. And I think that the pain you endure is needless, and in some ways, self-inflicted. I am concerned for you. I am worried for you. I pray daily for you. I don’t know how to help you, other than to be a shoulder, and to pray. But I also think that you need to be told a few truths:

• God never makes people to be copies of anything else. I’ve never known any artist that appreciated being told how to create art. I’m sure God gets pretty pissed off when you explain to Him that he made mistakes. I know you share a thousand pictures and inspirational quotes from Instagram about this, but do you read them? Do you believe them? You should.
• I’ve never known you to be secure. Ever. I get that you were raised this way from birth, but you might want to change this before you take this behavior into your golden years. You have stated you know this, but if you are not doing anything real, or measurable to make those changes, you are just talking in circles with the same group of people. What good does that do?
• Life isn’t something that you wait to begin. You won’t be happy “when.” You must make each moment of your journey count. Life will not be any better, or worse, or any more “livable” when:
• You finally pay off your loans
• You get that car
• Your divorce is final
• Your husband comes to his senses about your worth
• You get shoes that make that other heifer eat it!
• You are finally in a relationship
• You get married
• You get a fancier purse
• You have a baby
• You find a better best friend
• Why would you ever give up your dreams for someone else’s dreams? Can they not be accomplished together, as a unit? As a couple? As a “we?” If the answer is no, then that is NOT the couple, “we,” and unit you should be in…
• Men want a Proverbs 31 woman, and we talk, preach, and write books about it. Yet, we rarely talk about what kind of man WE need to be, in order to attract that type of partner. You will never attract a man that is worthy of a Proverbs 31 woman, if you don’t demand it. You can’t “be” a Proverbs 31 woman, and hold that as a standard-bearer, if you allow yourself to be treated as something else. If you don’t require good, fair, and equitable treatment – why would you think you are going to be treated that way?
• Just like you have standards of how you would like to be treated, you should give that respect back. Respect goes two ways, and if you are constantly upset at how others treat you, but never at fault in your mind of how you treat others, then you have some self-reflection time to take. 
• Grown women don’t “pretend” something didn’t happen, like they were on a child’s playground. Adults address the issue, and move past it, if possible and applicable. Forgiveness is there for a reason. Trust me, if you are my friend, I will forgive any grievance I have, but I won’t ignore it.
• Generally, you think too much. About everything. Calm your mind, breathe deeply, and understand that as a designed, created, and unique person, you deserve the respect, time, and peace that anyone else deserves. You don’t deserve more, but you don’t deserve less. Not every single thing is about you, your business, or for you. You do not have to expend any energy on what some other man or woman thinks of you. You just don’t. Save yourself the time and frustration.
• If you love someone, that is not always enough. I know that is heartbreaking news, but it is true. Love will not pay your bills. Love will not get you a job. Love will not put food on your table. Love will not make you live for God. Love is a comfort, and a luxury, and an extra. It is not a requirement, nor is it a right or a promise. You have been sold a lie, and you have been sold a fairy tale. You will be happier if you realize that real, true love is hard work and it is something YOU create, not fall into, or out of, or are “blessed” with.
• Love does not always equal faithfulness. I know many men that love their partner, wife, spouse, husband and cheat like dogs. They don’t “mean” it badly. They “love” their partner for all of the home life, and things offered there, but that isn’t always enough. You need to decide you’re your acceptable boundaries are, and how you would expect to be treated, and how you expect your treatment to be received. It’s not all your fault, but it’s not all his either.
• Yes, we like sports. But hear this… it’s because it has numbers and someone wins. That really is why… it’s not some deep rooted sexual thing. It’s not ingrained. It’s genetic and it’s how we are raised to be in power. Sports aren’t about how we FEEL. It’s binary. It’s “did you win, or lose.” Who did better? Who did what to help win? Individual, team, Olympic, whatever… sports are easy because we don’t have to talk for four hours about who said what that made them FEEL badly about a sports. We sportsed our hardest and outsportsed the other sports and won! That’s the basic reason. 
• Yes, we think participation trophies are dumb.
• Yes, we agree that it’s dumb to have overly-sensitive men. You don’t really like them either. But you don’t want us to be too distant either. It REALLY does confuse and frustrate us, both as your friends and as the guys you would date.
• You assume that your ability to split a hair seven ways is also something men do. No.
• Men are generally not good people. There are a few good ones. And there are many, many of them that strive to be the best they can. But almost EVERY man is flawed, hard-headed, and reared to be excellent and believe in himself. Men are never raised to constantly berate themselves, diet, feel less than, or fight over things that are superficial. Men are raised to be in power, and feed, and grow. As a partner to that, you need to get over the fact that you, as a woman, are generally raised to keep yourself small, and only reward yourself out of excellence, and not because you deserve to be raised that way to just naturally be powerful and excel. That is an unfortunate lie you have been taught.
• Why would you ever argue or fight in public with another woman? Oh, honey... Facebook, Twitter, and your text messages are public.
• Why would you consider yourself the winner if you "won" the guy in a fight with another woman? You are still the loser in that situation, honey. Your man is trash at that point. And you are not any better off for having "kept" him in that situation.
• Why would you berate another woman on her level of what you deem is acceptable levels of femininity? You hate it when men do that with masculinity? Why would you exhibit the exact behavior?
• Why would you constantly rotate your friends? You seem to constantly be talking about one of us, to the rest of us… I say this in love, but you always talk about your opinion on one person of the day, to all of the rest of the group is noticed, and it’s weird. That’s why people get testy. If you will talk TO us about the others, you will talk ABOUT us to the others, even under the guise of venting.
• You will always be the other woman, until you remove yourself from that position. If he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you. It is not his wife’s fault, it is his fault. Regardless of what she is, or is not, he will never leave her for you. If he does, he will leave YOU for the NEXT one.
• You can proclaim, all day long, that you are a modern, empowered, liberated woman. Great. I think that’s just great. Go for that. Be yourself, be unique, and be excellent. But if you proclaim, that… please live up to that. 
• Don’t back down on being a great, empowered lady, if you are just going to cry about being single. 
• Don’t claim to be unique and how you are holding out because you deserve it, if you are making a spectacle of yourself in public by dating any old man that will give you 5 minutes of attention.
• Don’t claim that you are excellent and a Daughter of the King, if you are allowing yourself to be used like public toilet, and then wondering why no one thinks you are marriage material, datable, or even respectable.
• I do not think anyone should ever be disrespected, but hear me clearly… if you see a person in a police uniform, you assume they are a policeman. If you see a person in a fire uniform, you assume they are a fireman. If you see someone in a whore uniform, you just naturally assume they’re a whore. Don’t cry foul because someone thinks you are a skank, if you dress, walk, and talk like a skank.
• If you are dating, shacking up, partnered, married, and your partner is beating you. Leave. I made the horrific and awful mistake of allowing someone to hit me, and then I hit back. And then they hit me, and I’d hit back. I should have turned my back, walked away and never looked in the rearview mirror. What happened was that I was brought to that level, acted in a completely irrational, childish, and retaliatory way and I hit back. Some think that’s fine, I don’t. I wish I hadn’t… but if you get hit. You need to move on. Period. The end.
• If you are married, and your husband is cheating on you. Do you find this acceptable?
• No? Leave.
• Yes? Why? Because your pastor told you to wait? Uh, was it a man? Why? Why would someone tell you to take years of mental abuse? Why would they not counsel the offending party to restoration, instead of the VICTIM to adapt to abuse? I don’t understand that. From a male perspective, a man would NEVER take that advice or adapt to mental and emotional abuse.
• Yes? Well, if you are into that, and he does, and you are allowed to, and it’s open and your business… that’s up to you. I don’t think that’s right, and I don’t want to know, but you do you, honey.
• When you have a guy that loves you and does things for you and is kind to you, and treats you well and is interested in you, and you put him in your friend zone… that’s your fault. 
• When someone, anyone, tells you who they are, you should pay attention to that and listen to what they’ve said.
• Girls that tell you how hard they go, and how they “keep it real,” are “crazy,” or that they will “cut someone”… well, then listen to them. Heed their warning! They are telling you straight up… and when they turn that ON you… you always act surprised. Stop it.
• Guys that tell you they are not interested are not interested. Stop analyzing every single word of every text, email, FB, or conversation. They said it. Clearly. Not interested. Slips ups, drunk kisses, drunk booty calls, using you like a toilet to get their needs met, and then STILL not committing or making any progress with you won’t change if you invite and encourage that behavior. Why would it? People treat you exactly as you let them.
• Guys that tell you they are interested will ACT like they are interested. Don’t fall for words of love, if no actions of love are behind it.
• You will not always get out of something or someone what you put into something or someone. You are promised that, and you are told that… but I honestly think that’s where your disappointment comes from. That’s not true. Guys learn that from sports, games, and the playground. Just because we train someone doesn’t mean they’ll perform under pressure. And if they can’t, we don’t keep letting them so that their feelings are not hurt. Because then the whole team fails. Girls seem to think that if you train someone, and they fail, then you got let down on a personal level. That had NOTHING to do with you personally. It had NOTHING to do with YOUR situation. Some people will NEVER be a good investment, and NEVER give you what you gave. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, or that you can’t love them with a Godly love, and try to help anyway, but you can’t take it personally.

I realize that some of these are very direct and hard to swallow. I even realize that as a friend, you may think I have no insight. But I do, both as someone that’s been there, and someone that sees from a very unique perspective. I love you. I do. I think the absolute world of you. You are my mother/sister/best friend/ex-girlfriend/ex-best friend/future wife/confident/co-worker. I don’t want you to hurt, and I don’t want you to spend years wasting your time learning a lesson that you could get over in days if you focused the energy and knew that sometimes it’s just not about you, or because of you, or something you could even control.

You are great, just like you are. You are loved, whether you realize it or not, just like you are. You are going to be just fine, even if you can’t see it. And you will THRIVE in the face of some of your obstacles, even if you don’t believe it.

I love you.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Two Gates

Narrow-minded.
Square.
Fuddy duddy.
Prude.
Goody-two-shoes.
Saint.
Holier-than-thou.
Papaw, or Mamaw.
Snob.
Bigoted.
Judgmental.

Do these sound familiar? Do these apply to you? Do these negative sounding words and phrases make you cringe? Do you get tired of explaining why you don't "do something?" I don't do this... I don't do that. I think it's a sin to [insert any number of things you might think are a sin.] You don't have to even condemn others anymore to be considered any of the aforementioned words. Your very witness of living your own life begins to be a sensitive topic. People want the lowest-common-denominator to be "their" viewpoint. It's no longer enough to be friends with someone of a differing opinion, religion, or viewpoint anymore. It is not enough to be tolerant and respectful anymore. It seems that if you don't affirm and celebrate every person's choice - you are now the bully. You are now the bigot.

The problem is, that you are not wrong. Human nature rears its ugly head and every emotion from jealously, to anger, to conviction, to pride will surface when confronted with a mirror that causes us to see flaws. We justify our actions. We rationalize our behaviors. We submit case study after case study about "why" we don't want legalism in our lives, and how love draws people to Christ, not condemnation. All of those are true, by the way. Yes... all are true.

Have you ever been accused of being a narrow-minded Christian? Usually, that is considered an insult. And we, as Christians, haven't really done much to have good PR in the past few decades. There are certainly enough "christians" out there giving us a bad name. That angers me, on many levels, and I whine to God about it. I cry out that it's not fair. Just because someone is conservative, white, and has money... that's not the barometer for being a good Christian. That does not equate to Christianity. It really irks me when people that go to church and have some cash, and have conservative values, and rail against anything that seems socially progressive is considered "the right wing," or "conservative christians." They've appropriated Jesus and misrepresented what the cross, and salvation, are all about. They have no problems stating what they are against, but not what they are for...

And hear me, fellow true Christians, fellow true believers: we've not done our fair share of the Golden Rule, nor the Great Commission. That's sad. That's really, really sad. I am indicting all of us, because we've been complacent. We've allowed Christ to be used as a political pawn, and forgotten that he came to save us. He came to heal us. He came to give us a way out of our lives of sin and most-assured death. Some of those values overlap, but conservative values alone does not a Christian make. Generally, I find the great dividing line the name of Jesus. Once you really throw that out there, conservatives and liberals alike will balk at the name. They will want no part of the name. They consider someone willing to really follow the social, political, and spiritual teachings of Christ a crazy person, a fanatic, or a kook. They will wear a button once a year about not using an "x" in Christmas, but they refuse to wear the name of Jesus in baptism or on their heart when it comes to their daily business interactions. It shows in how they treat the poor. It shows in how they treat those lost in sin and that need physical needs met before you can even begin to get them focused on what a spiritual need might be.

Yes, we are the fanatics. We are those that want to live a consecrated life, and to know the Christ. We want more than just some country club version of an insulated bubble world... But, those who level such accusations against us certainly mean it as an insult. Yet, for the true believer and the true Christian, it's not an insult. According to Jesus, that’s the only way to walk if we want to experience abundant life now and eternal life with Him in heaven. We are to be in love with God and Jesus more than anything, and through that love and our experience with the Christ, we are to show love to the world in a way that would make them want their own experience with Christ. It's hard to show them something different, if they can't tell you apart from themselves. I don't mean your hair, or your skirt, or makeup, or shorts, or tattoos, or earrings, or even your choice of entertainment, or if you abstain from alcohol or smoking. God is a "Big-Enough-God" to convict you of any and every sin that you, personally, should be doing or not doing. That's not my call, or anyone else's call. But, if you choose to live holy and if you choose to abstain from things that you feel convicted over, you can expect some peer pressure or questions about it. People get curious as to why you won't do something, and feel personally affronted if you lay it out there that you don't want to due to personal conviction. Sadly, and not so incidentally, you can expect some not-so-nice responses from family and friends. Trust me; I'm going through it daily now.

At the end of the day, there are two choices you can make. There are two gates, and two ways: Follow God, or not. Listen to God, or not. Follow through on your personal convictions, or not. It's not rocket science. You don't have to fast, consult three preachers, your bishop, the head of ladies' auxiliary, and all of your friends about it. You don’t' have to worry and toss and turn. You can listen to God, or not. But it will require a deliberate choice on our part, because no one automatically drifts onto the narrow pathway. Humans naturally drift toward the easy path.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. 14 But the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are few people who find it."

The broad way is easy to find. In fact, unless you make a conscious choice to avoid it, you’ll find yourself on it. Most people like this wide path because it encompasses all philosophies and belief systems. Everything is acceptable, and everyone’s “truth” is valid. It is very comfortable. You don't have to explain yourself, you just smile and nod and go about your business. Everyone and everything is correct. We are all on different paths to the same place. We are all correct. We are all right. No one is to be offended, or even inconvenienced as we walk this path. Christians get "replacements" for all of the things the world has to offer. You may not allow your kids to listen to secular music, but trust me... dark rooms, smoke machines, and light shows that emulate the same environment as a "club" don't feel very different than when I've been in a real club. Don't offend them, though. Don't be too direct about it. You are then someone that has no compassion, you are a bully. You are a bigot. If you don't do something, and you don't let your kids do something, you are in the dark ages. You are a relic. You are something to be marveled at because "it's too hard for this day and age..." But what are you for? What do you have? Don't focus on what you cannot do, or what God isn't please with in your life. What can you do? What do you have? What is inside you that many people will never know and never be able to comprehend? Trust me; everyone will focus on the negative aspect of this blog. People will think I am writing this from a negative place because it will allow them to scoff, make a choice that they are comfortable with, and move on. Some will block me from Newsfeeds, unfollow my social media. Some will say this wasn't wrestled with, that I've slipped back "into legalism" or that I am advocating "against" something or someone. Nope. None of the above. I'm celebrating what I've gained. People will focus on that that soothes though. They will say that love doesn't condemn. Love doesn't hurt feelings. Love doesn't give pause.

You know what else love doesn't do... love doesn't lie to you. Love won't let you go make mistakes, even when you get mad or throw a tantrum. Love makes you eat your vegetables and grow strong, even when you just want what's bad for you. Love makes sure that when you have messed up and have no recourse that you are picked up, washed off, and forgiven (I can personally attest to that one.) Love will correct you so that you can be better, do more, fulfill your dreams. Love makes you get out of bed and go to class so you can learn something, even when you just want to sleep in. Yes, it seems like the loving path because no one is left out, no one is offended and no one is "called out" for things that are clearly wrong. There are no restrictions, and freedom is unlimited. Or is it?

What those who travel this road fail to realize is that it’s a downward descent into destruction. All the promises it gives of satisfaction and fulfillment end in disappointment because it’s a path without God. You will get offended by other "christians" and whether or not you got your hand shook or your neck hugged. You'll wonder why some people feel justified in having things vs. those that don't. You'll want to know why some peoples' walk with God is seemingly effortless, and yours seems in turmoil. You'll constantly be comparing your trip down this path, and this road to others. You will feel bitter about not being on platform singing. You'll want to know why you can't have that suit, or that purse, or those shoes. You will get upset when someone doesn't soothe your feelings about your lukewarm relationship with Christ. You are too busy with work and family to put the time in for this or that activity, but how dare they not acknowledge the 17 minutes you spend in the prayer room!!! You will get offended when Christians and those "fanatics" are just "too churchy" or they can't be that "fired up" behind closed doors. Everyone has that wall up and puts it on for church, right? You can't really be that real, right? This list could go on, ad nauseum. Hear me, those who enter by the narrow gate of faith in Christ find the peace and joy of a relationship with Him that satisfies the heart. The gate is small because truth guards the entrance. The way is narrow because the Lord protects us with wise boundaries.

Which path are you traveling? You can’t have one foot on each, because they’re going in opposite directions. Do you love God? Do you want God in your real, everyday life? Do you want that direction and that sense of relationship and closeness? You can't love Jesus, and then hurt the very people He called you to help. You can't love Jesus, and then kill his people. You can't push others out of their chance for salvation, and be a true Chrisitan. You can't have it "every" way. Conversely, when you condone, well... everything, you’re also headed for destruction. And when you choose the narrow path, you'll find out exactly who your friends are... But when you choose the narrow way, your life truly begins. Listen to God. Christ isn't here to condemn, He is here to save. And yes, the path of a true Christian is actually quite difficult, but you must listen to those things that protect you and save you and will help you find your way. You’ll walk with Christ day by day until He walks you home to heaven.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

The Courage of Our Conviction...

Today is MLK day. And he has one of my all-time favorite quotes. It’s not the dream, it’s not the ones that are so often used. It’s simple, and it’s clear he lived his life by his convictions:

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

That quote speaks more to me than so many others attributed to that man, or many other activists and well-known ministers. He clearly walked the walk. We all know he was a gifted speaker, but he, literally, walked the walk. It's often been said that someone has "the courage of their conviction..."

 

What does that mean exactly? I am so glad you asked! Conviction (besides court and law definitions) is listed as “a strong belief or opinion” or “the feeling of being sure that what you believe or say is true.” So, to have courage behind your conviction is a state that people aspire to. It is mostly said in a positive light. That person, regardless of peer pressure, and regardless of obstacles has "the courage of their conviction!” Sometimes, it is used negatively, to show that even in surmounting evidence and even though proven incorrect, a person held onto their beliefs and had “the courage of their conviction.”

 

To me, conviction is usually when God is speaking to my heart about something. Conviction for me is when scripture isn’t easily translatable, isn’t forthcoming, isn’t plain – but God tells me what is good and bad for me. Now, I don’t find, or make, those applicable for everyone, and I don’t judge others on this – because it’s a gray area, spiritually speaking. What’s off limits for me, may not be for you. What’s bad for me, isn’t necessarily bad for you. What I think IS a sin for me, because of what God tells me, may not be for you. There isn’t any judgment on my part for others. And, I generally don’t accept or condone judgment BY others on me (although so many do try to put their beliefs and judgment on me. It takes strong faith in the God that delivered, healed, and saved me to know that our relationship is REAL, and that He will finish the work in me that He started. I don’t have to depend on others. It’s a great, freeing, and peaceful belief.) I have a relationship with God. I have quite an open dialog, and even though I am still working through my life, my sin, my forgiveness, and my redemption – what God has for me, is for ME.

 

And then, there are general belief structures and accepted modes of conviction, behavior, and what should be common among believers. There are just times where I have the “courage of my conviction” because scripture, translations, and God could not be any plainer or straightforward in what God’s People ought to do. But how do we, as a people, as believers – and hopefully, as Christians – get there?

 

Well, for starters, you have to actually have conviction. You have to be convicted over something - anything, really. But so many people today just hate feeling convicted. (I hear gasping amongst my readers.) Is this too much, too soon? Okay, but you know it’s true.

--You have to know what you believe. (That’s hard, MK. You’re making this hard.) Okay, so that’s still too much for this generation, and this spoiled and “instant-gratification” society. Let’s take it back even further.

--You have to have studied and taken some self-reflection. (That hurts my feelings, Michael. It hurts and it’s dumb. I don’t like conviction. It hurtsbecause it makes me responsible for my own actions. I can’t blame my parents, teachers, professors, boss, or preacher. This makes me accountable. I have to own my own soul, mind, and body. I have to own my reactions to others. Is there anything easier to swallow on the menu?) Okay. That’s still too much? Is it, though? Is it too much to think that we are vile, sinful, and deceitful by nature? Is it too much to think that we need conviction, and then the courage of those convictions to walk in liberty, grace, and victory? (Yes, MK, that steps on my toes and makes me feel bad. I don’t like God and church if it makes me feel bad.) It is?!? Okay. Let’s just make it super simple.

--You have to believe IN something. (That’s a little more complicated, MK. I believe there is a higher power. I believe that all roads lead to the same God. I believe that the Universe is out there. But I don’t know the details, nor care. I believe that people are good, and that all of this talk is depressing.) Um, okay. Is this still too hard? Well, everybody believes something. Everyone wants to be right. Everyone wants peace. Everyone wants to be thought of as “upstanding and righteous.” But, none of us are. No one. Not one. Not even you, not even me.

--You have to believe something. (Okay, I believe in God.) Great, now we are getting somewhere. But – even the devils believe and tremble. Belief is great, but when you TRULY believe something, you act on it. #JustSaying
 

Once you really know WHAT you believe, you can then shed old fears and doubts. You can begin to live in courage. You can begin to face those fears and those doubts and overcome them. You can be someone that has the “courage of their conviction.” But you’ll never walk in that peace, that kindness, and that grace if you never know what you believe or why you believe it.

Read Romans 14. Read the entire chapter IN CONTEXT and use your context clues, couple with historical relevance, historical context, and oh… some common sense… and you’ll see that God wants us to listen to His Spirit, and his wisdom for us. Yes, under Levitical Law and under the Jewish Law there were things that were unholy, abominations even… that could not be done. And the freedom that these “Christians” found under the Grace of Jesus allowed them to eat, drink and be merry because a real savior was here, had been found, fulfilled messianic prophecy, and was going to save them all by setting up a physical, real kingdom. Right? They were free! They found liberty. Their faith and their walk induced great miracles and many were added daily… But they were still fighting. Those clinging to old tradition were calling out those that had abandoned it, or worse – had never had it and were newly added Gentiles. Surely these people that ate and drank as they pleased were sinful and sinners and must not be as good of a Christian as US! Jesus is the King of the Jews, hello! Jewish still applies here folks!!! Right? Well, that’s what they thought and that’s how they acted.

What Paul (or his writer, or his transcriber) tries to point out is that we are not under the law, and all things are lawful. All things are permissible, but not all things are great. They can be stumbling blocks to others. They can cause others to fall and ruin your witness. They can ruin your walk. They can ruin your ministry. Even when they are not salvation/heaven-or-hell issues to you personally, or even if scripture isn’t really clear under a dispensation of Grace. Focus on:
 

--Romans 14:19 “So then, we must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another.” I love this scripture. It points out the very basic and the very lawful “Two Great Commandments.” One being love God above all else, the second being “to love your neighbor as yourself.” Once you “get” that, all other law and things we do for God, ourselves, and others become moot. If it offends your mom that you drink liquor, it becomes easier to not do it around her, or throw it in her face that you CAN drink because you love her as yourself. You would want her to do that for you. Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it, especially if it will ruin peace, kindness, and especially if it will ruin your witness (not for today, because that subject is too long for this already-long topic… but we don’t live in fear of being caught or seen doing something for our witness. We protect our witness here because of compassion and being a stumbling block.)

--Romans 14:20 “Do not, because of food, destroy what God has done. All foods may be eaten, but it is wrong to eat anything that will cause someone else to fall into sin.” That seems so simple, right? But most of us are offended when others become offended. Our gut-check moment is usually: “That heifer is crazy to be offended by me, and I’mma tell everyone how crazy she is.” Don’t compound others’ issues. If God has given you the mindset of liberty and freedom, lead others to it. Don’t be the reason they run from it. Don’t add gossip and malice to your recipe for drama. Yet, we are usually so defensive. But, why? Yes, all things are lawful under Grace, but not all things are good. If you are offending others, you don’t have to make a show of your liberty. You can be free in your home, you can certainly practice modesty, moderation, and other principles of your walk with God, how you see fit, as your conscience guides and still not be offensive, or DEFENSIVE of your walk with Christ.
 

A person of conviction has become convinced, by either evidence or argument, that their beliefs are true. Today, most men and women would rather live by preference than conviction. (Ooh, MK… you are going to lose FB friends, Blog Readers, Tumblr Followers… Your friends will think you are crazy for this.) Yep, likely, I will. Likely, my old JCM friends will roll their eyes and think I am talking about standards, but I’m not. My family, my friends, and my loved ones will think I’m hiding some kind of gay agenda under all of this, but I’m not.

I’m merely blogging about my life, my beliefs and what I’m going through. I am forever changed because of God. I’m different. I am not comfortable with it, I am not even sure of how far-reaching the effects of God has been to me, and on my life. I don’t know and I can’t rightly say that I have the full knowledge of just how much God touched, healed, and forgave. But I know this: I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day. I know my conviction is to write and share what I’m going through, not just as someone that is gay…. Not just as a southerner… not just as a sinner that needs Jesus and is trying to live in Grace and follow… but as people’s son, as people’s friend, as people’s family, brother, and as someone that has been an “other.” I know what it’s like to be thrown away as a lost cause. Worse, and my own regret is that I know what it’s like to buy into that myth – because that’s what it is… a myth. I know what it’s like to be shunned and to be told that people love me, but hate everything about me (Isn’t “love the sinner, hate the sin” great that way!) I know all too well what it’s like to want Jesus… to want to be in church and be delivered and saved and used and just… be a part. And to believe the lies of the devil, and the Christians the devil uses to push people further from God. I know perfectly how it all goes. And it took a miracle, a healing and God coming to me to shake me, convict me, and show me. Hear that! It was not people, but God. It was tangible. It was supernatural, and it was a touch from what I knew was eternal and forever! And that conviction is what brings courage. No peer pressure or fear of my family and friends could prevent me from writing these things. No peer pressure from family or friends could make me change my course. Conviction is also a defense against doubt, and it’s a defense for which I am grateful.

People that don’t have true conviction choose to believe something based on certain conditions and circumstances. When the situation changes, so does their loyalty. In other words, a lot of people vacillate on issues that require a firm resolve. Yet, contrast this generation’s selfishly wishy-washy approach with the mindset of the great men and women of Scripture:
 

--Despite many years of unfair treatment, Joseph never wavered in his commitment to godly principles. As a result, he was in the right place at the right time to ensure Israel’s survival (Gen. 50:20).
 

--Daniel, another righteous man in an idolatrous land, earned the trust of foreign kings by standing firm in his beliefs (Dan. 1:20). When his friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego also refused to compromise their beliefs, they influenced a king to recognize Jehovah as the one true God (3:29).
 

When everything seems foolish, when it all seems like you are the lone crazy person – are you? Are you by yourself because you have believed a lie? Or do you have the courage of your convictions? Do you have scripture, and word to be the foundation and to not just rely on your feelings? As these biblical examples show, Godly convictions can withstand the changing winds of opinion and the persuasive arguments of opponents. When God tells you something, you don’t take it lightly. If you really believe God, then trust God. If you really are grounded in the Word (and use Word here as a synonym from John 1) and trust what God has said, stand firm in your beliefs. Confidence in your God, and the conviction your God brings, breeds the courage to remain strong amid conflict.

 

Once you know what God says, you have a choice to make: Believe Him and commit to living according to your conviction, or continue being tossed by waves of doubt and indecision (James 1:6). Root yourself in God’s Word and be called one of His oaks of righteousness (Isa. 61:3). Instead of following your own preferences, choose to live by godly conviction. The Bible has much to say about the most important aspects of your life. See if God’s principles and promises hold true. Through prayer and study, allow Him to firmly root you in solid biblical convictions. Don’t lean on people. People will always fail you, people will always disappoint you. That sounds bad, and depressing, but it’s true. Your parents, your pastor, your friends, you lover, your spouse, your kids… they are NOT perfect, and they are NOT God. They cannot and will not fill the hole in your heart/soul/life that only God can occupy. Read:

Jeremiah 17:7-8: “But I will bless the person who puts his trust in me. He is like a tree growing near a stream and sending out roots to the water. It is not afraid when hot weather comes, because its leaves stay green; it has no worries when there is no rain; it keeps on bearing fruit.” Plant yourself by God. Plant yourself in Jesus. Plant yourself so that drought, dessert winds, “dry spells,” and the fallacy of mankind won’t uproot you. You might lose some branches, you may even shake, shudder, and lose your leaves from time to time, but you will survive the storm. You will be planted.
 

Are you living under the law? Do your convictions come from fear, peer pressure and negative space? Or do your convictions come directly from God or His Word? Are you living your life to your best? Do you trust God to help you and lead you? Are you ignoring your convictions and leading a completely free life that doesn’t ground you? Here are some things to consider:
 

--Do you consider the Bible true and trustworthy? If you don’t, then why go through all of the drama associated with being a Christian?

--Do you think that believing in Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved? If you don’t, then why worry about what His Word says? If you find another way for salvation, by all means… have at it.

--What is the Holy Spirit’s role in the lives of believers and unbelievers? Do you have the Holy Ghost?

--Are we to forgive others in every situation?

--How should Christians approach finances?

--What’s your purpose in life? Do you have a purpose?

--What is your role in the church and at work? What supersedes what?  

--How should you think, and act, regarding social issues like homophobia, civil rights, women’s rights, capital punishment, abortion, and racism? Should you, as a Christian, be involved? Have you been taught that you look the other way?

--When you hear of the news of horrors in our country, what is your gut reaction? Is it, “Serves them right!”? Or are you reaching out, in love, through Christ?

--How do you get your news? Your education? Your teaching? Do you rely on others to give it to you? Are they accountable? Or are you accountable? Are you responsible for knowing the truth, seeking it out, learning it?
 

There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. There are no “bad” ways to go about this. But you HAVE to know where YOU stand. You have to know where your direction is coming from. When you read these and have an instant reaction, where does that come from? Is it from God? Is your reaction a stumbling block to others that prevent an "other" from getting to God? Then you may want to consider where your source of conviction comes from. You cannot lean on your parents, your preacher, your job, your boss, your sister, or your friends for YOUR personal convictions and YOUR walk with God. I love you. I love you right where you are, how you are, and for WHO you are. Evaluate what the Bible says rather than looking at an issue through the lens of personal preference. Ask, What does God say? How is God speaking to me? What does God’s scripture, answer, and guidance mean for me? Don’t ask only, “What does this mean FOR me, or TO me?” Don’t merely think of your preferences and selfishness.

It is my hope that these questions will open the eyes of those who haven’t contemplated how their personal philosophies have developed. It’s time to change that. Study the Bible and make God’s Word the cornerstone of your thinking. Kindness is never the wrong answer.

Peace,

#JustBeingMichael

The Hope of Peace

What would you give for peace?

I don't mean your pageant answer or your impressive exposition for a public that adores you. I mean, what would you give for peace of mind? What would you pay, besides your current pharmacy and physician bills, to sleep the sleep of the worry-free? What is it worth to you to rest in childlike faith and know that you are cared for, loved, and that everything will be okay? Think about that. Take a second and really think. Ponder on this. Close your eyes, breathe in, and think: What if I didn't have to worry about ______?

Fill in that blank.

Fill in that blank and think about how much you would borrow, beg, steal and give away to have peace in your mind. Peace in your heart. Peace in your soul. You, see, as believers, we are "At Peace with God" - Romans 5:1: "Now that we have been put right with God through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

I am reminded of the song, "It Is Well With My Soul." The story of the writer is beautiful. And while I cannot fathom the trials he went through to be able to pen and write that song, it's amazing to me that it could be written, at all:

"When Peace, like a river, attendeth my way.

When sorrows, like sea billows, roll.

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul."

My own life is a testimony in the search for peace. If you ever need a lesson in how NOT to use your life for God, look to Michael Kennedy: Waste. Selfishness. Vanity. Escapism. Hedonism. If you can think of it, I've probably tried it. But... peace? kindness? love? grace? No. I didn't know them. I've spent my life, even during my formative years in church, searching. Searching for ways to blend in, searching for ways to see how others had these things, searching for answers and peace. It's vastly different when you meet the source of peace, rather than just know about the peace. I know 1%-ers that would give any amount of money to be able to be breathe deeply and have peace. I know people stricken with illness after illness that would sell all of their belongings to have peace of mind and be well. I know people in poverty that would, by any means necessary - legal or not, give anything they had to have a moment of peace that security can afford. But you cannot buy peace. You cannot sell peace. You cannot trade for peace.

Despite humankind's best efforts, the world's longing for peace remains unfulfilled. Each new generation has higher and higher hopes for peace. We, as a people, and as the human race have longed for reconciliation among people and nations but in the end, we all end up facing disappointment. Daily, the news seems to bring more and more bad news. One day Christ will return and one day, peace will reign. Until then, believers are called to be His ambassadors of peace. Reread that. Until the Rapture, until God comes back, until time ends... we, the believers, are called to be Ambassadors of His Peace. We are his ministers of reconciliation. We are what the world sees when they see Christ. What does the world see when they look at you? Can they tell a difference between you and them? Do your actions, words, and attitude make you seamlessly one with the world? Or does it set you apart? Is there anything in you that should make them want Christ?

Does the love of Christ come from you?
Does kindness and how Christ would treat them come from you?
Does grace and doing what the God of all creation come from you?
Does peace, and the Peace of Christ come from you?
Do you reflect anything worth taking note of?

Or do you reflect other qualities? These are hard questions for hard times. Christ doesn't hate. He doesn't separate. He doesn't divide. He doesn't treat unequally. Christ isn't unkind. He doesn't overlook the addicted, the dirty, the poor. He doesn't overlook the hungry, or the needy. Christ doesn't react without grace and wisdom. Christ doesn't speak in extremes of US and THEM. He doesn't treat Samaritans differently than Jews. He died for Gentiles and Pagans. He died for Pharisees and Sadducees. Christ doesn't promote division and war. Christ provides peace.

Even as "Christians," at times we're quick-tempered and impatient and find it hard to live in harmony with others. But why? If you really believe in God, and trust in Jesus, what wouldn't you do for others and in His name? We may have trouble letting go of attitudes or habits that hurt those around us—and occasionally we don't even want to. But ask yourself why. Only you, inside of yourself can answer what your true motives are for your actions, words, and deeds. In reality, no one wants to think they are a bad person. No one likes to be reprimanded or feel guilt. It's humiliating and we justify and rationalize our works - "we only lied because..., we told that fib to avoid confrontation. We didn't want to have a confrontation in our home, in our family, at work, at the grocery store, at the gas station. We only told that gossip because they needed prayer. We only confirmed that negative truth about a friend that isn't doing very good because we needed to make another friend feel better. We only made fun of her dress because she should have known better than to wear it. We have a million excuses. We have a million reasons. But, God knows our true character and has provided the Holy Ghost to transform us into Jesus' likeness. The Spirit of God opens our minds to understand and apply Scripture. He gives us the power to say no. Hear that. You have the power to say no to things. You are not required to say yes to ungodliness. You have been given the ability, brain, rationale, and intestinal fortitude to replace selfishly-motivated, "me-"centered thinking with a Christ-centered viewpoint. He patiently produces His fruit in us, which includes love, joy, and peace (Gal. 5:22-23). With His help, we can become peacemakers who work to bring about reconciliation between God and others (Matt. 5:9).

We, as believers, have answers. While our world keeps hoping for peace through man's solutions, we know the only source of lasting unity is Jesus. The Lord wants our hearts to be ruled by His peace (Col. 3:15) and our relationships to be marked by a spirit of oneness. Oneness, as children of God, and especially as the people he gave His name to! How encouraged other people will be when they realize it's the transforming power of God in our lives that brings about reconciliation in our marriages, families, and churches. What will they see in your life that draws them to Christ? When you live for God, no one has to ask. When you live for God, you don't have to say a word. When you live for God, you never even have to explain. You just live. Your very life is the witness. It's not details of how short your skirt is. It's not if you wear shorts, or play sports, or drink or smoke, or cuss, or if you like things your grandparents do not. Following God isn't a rulebook of "dos" and "don'ts." I am not recommending that you abuse Grace, but it's not about your hair, your TV, your movies, your music, your makeup or your money. God will work on all of that, and God will convict you and lead you where He wants you to go. But you - your life - are what really and truly draw people.

Where are you today? Are you kind? Do you want kindness? Do you give kindness to others? Do you take time to think about the words you say, how they are perceived and how they'll be interpreted? Or do you carelessly let your actions and words hurt others? You cannot unthrow a stone. You cannot unsay words that have been said. You cannot unhurt people that have been hurt. Be kind, it's never the wrong answer.

Where are you today? Are you peaceful? Do you have peace in your life? Or are you drama-filled and in a constant state of reaction? Do you have time to proactively manage your life? Or are you continually reacting to people, situations, and events? Do you want peace?

You can have peace today. You can know peace in an instant. You can have peace faster than you've ever even dreamed. Regardless of your situation, your burden, or the consequences in life you will have to go through - you can have peace. Here's another verse of "It Is Well.." And this is one that applies to me. It gave me peace, even very recently:

"My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!"

I have peace today. I wasn't given partial peace. I will never earn it, nor will I ever take it for granted again. But hear me - I am peaceful because "not in part, but in whole." Whoever you are, wherever you've been, and whatever comes - I love you, right where you are.

#JustBeingMichael ツ

You Are Not My Responsibility-Today's Life Lesson

Rabbi Edwin Friedman tells the story of a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. After trying many things, succeeding at some and failing at others, he finally decided what he wanted.

One day the opportunity came for him to experience exactly the way of living that he had dreamed about. But the opportunity would be available only for a short time. It would not wait, and it would not come again. Eager to take advantage of this open pathway, the man started on his journey. With each step, he moved faster and faster. Each time he thought about his goals, his heart beat quicker, and with each step, he moved faster and faster. Each time he thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; and with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor.

As he hurried along, he came to a bridge that crossed through the middle of a town. The bridge spanned high above a dangerous river. After starting across the bridge, he noticed someone coming in the other direction. The stranger seemed to be coming toward him to greet him. As the stranger grew closer, the man could discern that they didn't know each other, but yet they looked amazingly similar. They were even dressed alike. The only difference was that the stranger had a rope wrapped around his waist many times. If stretched out, the rope would reach a length of perhaps thirty feet.

The stranger began to unwrap the rope as he walked. Just as the two men were a bout to meet, the stranger said, "Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end of this rope for me?" The man agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.

"Thank you," said the stranger. He then added, "Two hands now, and remember, hold tight." At that point, the stranger jumped off of the bridge. The man on the bridge abruptly felt a strong pull from the now-extended rope. He automatically held tight and was almost dragged over the side of the bridge.

"What are you trying to do?" he shouted to the stranger below.

"Just hold tight," said the stranger.

This is ridiculous, the man thought. He began trying to haul the other man in. Yet is was just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

Again, he yelled over the edge, "Why did you do this?"

"Remember, "said the other, "if you let go, I will be lost."

"But I cannot pull you up," the man cried.

"I am your responsibility," said the other.

"I did not ask for it," the man said.

"If you let go, I am lost," repeated the stranger.

The man began to look around for help. No one was within sight. He began to think about his predicament. Here he was eagerly pursuing a unique opportunity, and now he was being sidetracked by a stranger for who knows how long.

Maybe I can tie the rope somewhere, he thought. He examined the bridge carefully, but there was no way to get rid of his new found burden.

So he again yelled over the edge of the bridge, "What do you want?"

"Just your help," came the answer.

"How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope while I find someone else who could help you."

"Just keep hanging on," replied the dangling man, "That will be enough."

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.  "Why did you do this?" he asked again, "What possible purpose could have been in your mind?"

"Just remember, " said the other, "my life is in your hands."

Now the man was perplexed. He reasoned within himself, If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other man die. If  I stay, I risk losing my momentum toward my own long sought-after salvation. Either way, this will haunt me forever.

As time went by, still no one came. The man became keenly aware that it was almost too late to resume his journey. If he didn't leave immediately, he wouldn't arrive in time.   Finally, he devised a plan.

"Listen," he explained to the stranger hanging below. "I think I know how to save you." He mapped out the idea: the stranger could climb back up by wrapping the rope around him and loop by loop the rope would become shorter. The dangling man had no interest in the idea.

"I don't think I can hang on much longer," warned the man on the bridge.

"You must try," appealed the stranger, "If you fail, I die."

Suddenly a new idea struck the man on the bridge. It was different and even alien to his normal way of thinking. "I want you to listen carefully," he said, "because I mean what I am about to say."

The dangling man indicated that he was listening.

"I will not accept the position of choice for your life; only for my own. I hereby give you back the position of choice for your own life to you."

"What do you mean?" the other asked, suddenly afraid.

"I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug some from here." He unwound the rope from around his waist and braced himself to be a counterweight. He was ready to help as soon as the dangling man began to act.

"You cannot mean what you say," the other shrieked. "You would not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me."

After a long pause, the man on the bridge uttered slowly, "I accept your choice." In voicing those words, he freed his hands and continued his journey over the bridge.

The End

I'd Rather Walk On My Own Lips...

Every Old Barn...

Honesty Is Overrated...

Your Papaw Would Have Loved...

Christian Sharing