Sunday, July 29, 2012


Watch this: 'Sight,' an incredible vision of an AR-obsessed future

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Smoked Salmon over crabmeat & crustini

OMG... During a layover at BWI, I stopped by one of my favorite places to check out wine and relax, Vino Volo.

Today was a summer white wine flight. I paired it with smoked salmon over crabmeat and crustini.

It. Was. Magical.


You Are Not My Responsibility-Today's Life Lesson

Rabbi Edwin Friedman tells the story of a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. After trying many things, succeeding at some and failing at others, he finally decided what he wanted.

One day the opportunity came for him to experience exactly the way of living that he had dreamed about. But the opportunity would be available only for a short time. It would not wait, and it would not come again. Eager to take advantage of this open pathway, the man started on his journey. With each step, he moved faster and faster. Each time he thought about his goals, his heart beat quicker, and with each step, he moved faster and faster. Each time he thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; and with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor.

As he hurried along, he came to a bridge that crossed through the middle of a town. The bridge spanned high above a dangerous river. After starting across the bridge, he noticed someone coming in the other direction. The stranger seemed to be coming toward him to greet him. As the stranger grew closer, the man could discern that they didn't know each other, but yet they looked amazingly similar. They were even dressed alike. The only difference was that the stranger had a rope wrapped around his waist many times. If stretched out, the rope would reach a length of perhaps thirty feet.

The stranger began to unwrap the rope as he walked. Just as the two men were a bout to meet, the stranger said, "Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end of this rope for me?" The man agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.

"Thank you," said the stranger. He then added, "Two hands now, and remember, hold tight." At that point, the stranger jumped off of the bridge. The man on the bridge abruptly felt a strong pull from the now-extended rope. He automatically held tight and was almost dragged over the side of the bridge.

"What are you trying to do?" he shouted to the stranger below.

"Just hold tight," said the stranger.

This is ridiculous, the man thought. He began trying to haul the other man in. Yet is was just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

Again, he yelled over the edge, "Why did you do this?"

"Remember, "said the other, "if you let go, I will be lost."

"But I cannot pull you up," the man cried.

"I am your responsibility," said the other.

"I did not ask for it," the man said.

"If you let go, I am lost," repeated the stranger.

The man began to look around for help. No one was within sight. He began to think about his predicament. Here he was eagerly pursuing a unique opportunity, and now he was being sidetracked by a stranger for who knows how long.

Maybe I can tie the rope somewhere, he thought. He examined the bridge carefully, but there was no way to get rid of his new found burden.

So he again yelled over the edge of the bridge, "What do you want?"

"Just your help," came the answer.

"How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope while I find someone else who could help you."

"Just keep hanging on," replied the dangling man, "That will be enough."

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist.  "Why did you do this?" he asked again, "What possible purpose could have been in your mind?"

"Just remember, " said the other, "my life is in your hands."

Now the man was perplexed. He reasoned within himself, If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other man die. If  I stay, I risk losing my momentum toward my own long sought-after salvation. Either way, this will haunt me forever.

As time went by, still no one came. The man became keenly aware that it was almost too late to resume his journey. If he didn't leave immediately, he wouldn't arrive in time.   Finally, he devised a plan.

"Listen," he explained to the stranger hanging below. "I think I know how to save you." He mapped out the idea: the stranger could climb back up by wrapping the rope around him and loop by loop the rope would become shorter. The dangling man had no interest in the idea.

"I don't think I can hang on much longer," warned the man on the bridge.

"You must try," appealed the stranger, "If you fail, I die."

Suddenly a new idea struck the man on the bridge. It was different and even alien to his normal way of thinking. "I want you to listen carefully," he said, "because I mean what I am about to say."

The dangling man indicated that he was listening.

"I will not accept the position of choice for your life; only for my own. I hereby give you back the position of choice for your own life to you."

"What do you mean?" the other asked, suddenly afraid.

"I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug some from here." He unwound the rope from around his waist and braced himself to be a counterweight. He was ready to help as soon as the dangling man began to act.

"You cannot mean what you say," the other shrieked. "You would not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me."

After a long pause, the man on the bridge uttered slowly, "I accept your choice." In voicing those words, he freed his hands and continued his journey over the bridge.

The End

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Your Soul’s Tsunami... Pride Goeth Before...

One of my best qualities is my humility. Bahahaha…

Sorry, even I can’t keep that façade up over the internet, sitting at a computer and writing to you. I am not what I would consider to be a truly humble person. I may not be able to be considered even a moderately or slightly humble person. The best I can hope for is that I am not pretentious or a complete and total asshole. But… at least I know that. I am not proud of that, but knowing is (Yo! Joe!) half the battle.

Or is it?
Do I work on that? I mean, that’s the real question, isn’t it? Am I actively seeking assistance or participating in my “pride” recovery? I think I do. I do the whole self-deprecation jokes about my age, my hairline, my weight… I admit where I need improvement both to myself and my “inner circle”. And usually, in my blogs. (My mother thinks that is the most ridiculous thing. Mamaw Sue does, too… “Hon, why would you put your trash on the front porch… carry it around back”.) And as a genteel and “fabulous” southern boy, I was raised to carry on that façade and that tradition. We came from a good family, we had a little scrap of land and money, and we were nice, solid participants within and of the community. So, even with the pride I carry with me daily, I can openly admit, “I get it honest.”

Are YOU a “prideful” person? There is no shame in admitting it. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be good, even great, at what you do. There is nothing wrong with taking pride in a job well done and making sure that you try your hardest and do your best! We were just raised to do that. Well, if you had decent home training, you were raised to do that. So, what is your greatest achievement? What are you most proud of? These are questions you should ask yourself and you need to keep in your mind. There are healthy amounts of pride that keep us from becoming unhygienically homeless. But there are times when our pride gets the best of us. For instance, can you admit when you are wrong? I have the hardest time with that and it’s something I have to continuously work on. I have to really make myself listen and not become IRATE when challenged and then, rarely, but possibly proven wrong! Can you admit when you don’t remember something, or when you have been proven incorrect? Have you ever “dropped the ball?” How did you handle that situation?

#DailyProverbs 11:2 People who are proud will soon be disgraced. It is wiser to be modest.
My grandmother used to wander her house, and whenever she’d overhear conversations or arguments, she’d casually mutter some quote. She has thousands of them, or she’d quietly intone, “Pride goeth before a fall, hon…” Old church ladies love saying that. They say it to singers. They say to preachers and evangelists. They say to the preacher’s wife. They say it to the lady that wins the county fair pie contest. They say it to their daughters, their grandchildren, their friends. One NEVER says it to your momma… but you do say it to everyone else. I can hear it now, “Pride goeth before a fall, hon…”

The only problem is that it’s WRONG.

I swannee I could hear screeching tires and the *gay gasp* come from THREE states around me. But they are WRONG! That’s not the scripture. That’s not the quote.
“MichaelK, you shut the hell up before your Mamaw Sue comes and slaps your dirty, lying, whore mouth!”
Well, she can slap it, and she can be mad, but I’d still be right, and that would STILL be the wrong and incorrect quote. Imagine that – old southern white people misquoting the Holy Bible, God’s Unerring Word!!!

The correct and proper quote is
Proverbs 16:18: “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”
 Now, what does that mean? Pride goeth before destruction,.... As it did in the angels that sinned, who, through pride, fell into condemnation, not being able to bear the thought that the human nature, in the person of the Son of God, should be advanced above theirs; and as it did in our first parents, who, not content with their present state and circumstances, and ambitious of being as gods, knowing good and evil, ruined themselves and all their posterity…

and a haughty spirit before a fall; or, "a high spirit", or "height of spirit"; a man that carries his head high; looks upwards, and not to his goings, sees not at what he may stumble, and so falls: moreover, the bigger a person or thing is, the greater is the fall; and very often when a man has got to the height of his riches and honor, and is swelling with pride and vanity on account of it, he is on the precipice of ruin, and his fall is immediate…

Think on that for a moment. I am serious. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath, and think about pride and how having TOO much pride is destructive. Now, think about yourself, your family, your favorite celebrity… think about people that you love. One of our biggest raves and compliments to FAMOUS people is that they “are so down to earth,” right? Whenever we meet a famous person that seems sweet and nice and takes a moment with us, we always talk about how “normal” they are or how “they are just like real people.” So, what happens when they are not? You usually end up disappointed and feeling let down from your celebrity encounter. You also might end up liking them a little less. I feel for them. I really do. What else do we expect? What happens after years in the spotlight and years at the top? Bitches change. People seriously go crazy and truly get weird and expect their way. It all starts with pride.

Then… BAM! They do something COLASSALLY stupid. They expect special treatment. They are usually filmed either during or around the incident. They are in the tabloids, in rehab, in jail, and out of favor… and we eat it up. The formula is pretty old. The results are tried and true: then when they get humble, we forgive, they have a comeback, and BAM…the cycle starts again.

Are you this way? No, don’t get offended… it’s a legitimate question. Are you this way in your life? Are you this way in your personal relationships? Is it all or nothing? Is it your way or the highway? MUST you have your way? MUST you be the center of attention? MUST you always be the one that is “right?” If you are letting your pride get in the way of your relationships, your finances, your spirituality, getting help, seeking counsel, and improving yourself both spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially, then you are headed for destruction. You are headed quickly and directly for complete, utter and total annihilation. You are headed for disaster.

How does one prevent this trip straight to hell in a pridefully-lined handbasket? Well, it’s not always pleasant, and it isn’t exactly easy, but here is a little test I do for myself. I look myself in the eyes every day. If I can’t, then I need to change or make amends or fix the situation I am not sitting so well with. If I can, then I am doing pretty good. It starts every morning with my shaving. Can I look at my face and into my eyes while I am shaving in the morning, or fixing my hair? Am I lying to myself? Well, I can’t lie to myself. I can lie pretty good to others, but not to myself. Am I okay? Am I being the best me? If those answers are no, or I can’t honestly answer them, then I have some soul searching to do and some things to fix.

You try it. Try it and see for yourself. See if you can live or die with yourself… Try it and see if you tell yourself the truth… Try it and see if you are truly okay…


Now, if you are not okay, or if you can’t not lie to yourself, then you have some work to do. And if that’s the case, don’t let pride stop you from seeking counsel and help from family, friends, and trusted advisors. I am serious. I challenge you, be better. I challenge you to try harder and fight your selfishness and vanity. I challenge you to push your pride away and truly seek a better way to be with yourself, with your family, with your friends, with those you interact with, and with strangers.


Honesty Is Overrated...

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Political Money for Dummies: Money *ISN'T* the root of all evil…

Money is NOT evil. Having money is not evil. So, where does that old saying come from?

It actually comes from the Bible. And as with most old sayings... it has been twisted out of it's original context. Jesus was a big teacher of social activism. He had already been called out about taxes and Ceasar, about paying Ceasar what he was due... And Jesus had already run the money-changers and over-chargers out of the Jewish Temple. So, when this comes up in the book of Timothy, well... it's not surprising that his followers and the first generation church would have things to say on money. It should be a well known quote. It should have preserved itself throughout time. We as Christians should have disabused ourselves of any doubt about its intent and the intent that Jesus put behind it...but, as with most Christians and Conservatives and Democrats and Liberals… not a one of them actually know the quote or the scripture in its accuracy, context, or intent.
1 Timothy 6:10: “For the LOVE of money is the root of all evil…
See, LOVE is the root of all evil! Ha, just kidding. Loving money is, though. Loving money, power, and the access it brings MORE than your God, and your fellow man is the root of all evil. Those things cause more problems on this little ole rock called Earth than any other thing. Well, maybe than besides sex. And I bet it gives sex a good run for its money. Money isn’t evil… Money is a tool, like a shovel, or a calculator. It’s neuter. It’s benign. It doesn’t care one way or the other how it is spent. It’s the owner of that money and the transfer of goods and services that taint the cash. Not the other way around. NOT controlling your money is evil. Letting crooked politicians take your money is evil. Letting others control your money and the good  and outcomes it could provide are evil. And ultimately, not educating yourself and those that need your wisdom about finances, is evil.
#DailyProverbs 10:2: Wealth you get by dishonesty will do you no good, but honesty can save your life.
Per usual, I am watching too much news, and drinking too much coffee. And, thankfully, I am continuing my yearlong journey in reading and meditating on Proverbs every day. Today’s kind of hit home in a way that was both relevant in our current world, but in my own internal struggles with finance and politics. Proverbs 10:2, coupled with other Bible readings and the daily onslaught of political advertisements, campaigns, and sensationalized “news” about candidates have made my mood less than pleasant.

Just look at the world at large today. I’m serious. We have a nation that is still at “war” 11 years later. I did a bit of research and we are not at “war,” currently. Don’t believe me? Google it. It’s true. But, we are in several “conflicts” and we are spending an EXORBITANT amount of money to maintain infrastructure and peace in those areas of “conflict.”

We are nearly 16 TRILLION dollars in debt. Almost… Now just let that settle in for a moment as you breathe. Take a deep, deep breath, and then slowly let it out. Okay... keep reading. As of today, July 10, 2012 we are officially $15,879,528,608,975.11 in debt to various entities. The single majority hold of that is China… as in China, the country with whom we already have precarious and tentative State relationships. That really scares me. Not just the money, or owing a debt to countries with which we don’t share similar goals and ideals. All of it. All of it scares me - and I am not cheap or a spendthrift. I am not of the typical GOP or Tea Party mindset that we need super small government, little to no regulatory statutes and that we have no rhyme or reason to borrow, BUT – we are spending a lot on defense, and not on our own infrastructure and economy. We are helping other nations and not ourselves. But, overall… I’m not okay with that. I’m not okay with that at all.

I don’t mean to sound condescending, but you, Reader, understand the difference between a deficit and a debt, right? Try this: Suppose you spend more money this month than your income. This situation is called a "budgetary deficit". So you borrow (ie; use your credit card). The amount you borrowed (and now owe) is called your debt. You have to pay interest on your debt. If next month you spend more than your income, another deficit, you must borrow some more, and you'll still have to pay the interest on your debt (now larger). If you have a deficit every month, you keep borrowing and your debt grows. Soon the interest payment on your loan is bigger than any other item in your budget. Eventually, all you can do is pay the interest payment, and you don't have any money left over for anything else.

So, if we as a nation continue to live above our means, and continue to “borrow money” to pay our bills, we will never learn to economize, live on a budget, and eventually do better for ourselves. We will never truly “reduce the deficit” and we will continue to increase our DEBT. "Reducing the deficit" is a meaningless soundbite. It may as well be a bumper sticker or some line item on a pundit news show. If the DEFICIT is any amount more than ZERO, we have to borrow more and the DEBT grows. What in the hell do we even spend TRILLIONS on? Besides defense, military operations, homeland infrastructure, and a great deal on Medicare/Medicaid, what else is there? I know there are subsidies, such as to American farmers. But what about all of the CRAZY things we fund, like a psychic pickle growing farm in Chechnya. I am not joking.
The major things we spend money on is HHS and Defense. And those are being slashed every day. We have to have limits, we have to have goals and spending and we have to be smart about what we will do for our future generations, not just today. Everyone wants something. Everyone wants to get their benefits, but no one wants to pay in their taxes or their dues. We must spend less than we take in. You can actually SEE the monthly Federal spending report here: and the breakdown of the spending here:

These are the numbers as of May 2012. So, don't give me any crazy BS about how this is old, or not yet, or anything. The numbers are current-ish. And I am tired of fake information and pictures on Facebook and Twitter telling me just how much Obama or Bush has done to the country, blah, blah, blah… So HERE are some REAL numbers from REAL government websites and agencies with FEDERALLY PUBLISHED numbers. The year, the President in office, the money/debt, and the census information, in a table format, already calculated and review for your viewing convenience. You are welcome. Oh, and for your own comfort and info: I pulled this together from various government sites and agencies such as,, and

Debt Per Capita


FACT: President Reagan, one of my personally favorite Presidents (his quotes are magic, and who didn’t love Nancy?) was the WORST offender of National Debt Growth. While it was ONLY $1.7T in growth, it was OVER 65% of the National Debt. Unacceptable.

FACT: Bill Clinton was a two term President. He had LESS National Debt growth in TWO terms than THREE Presidents in recent history have had in ONE term. Also, He had LESS than half (40%) of that of President Reagan and nearly half (55%) of the growth in National Debt of President Bush. That’s quite impressive. Of course, most people only remember that he let that fat girl suck his wee wee… Not the brilliance of his State relationships, his intellect, or the fact that the man charmed a nation into a bit of prosperity.

FACT: Bill Clinton was the ONLY President in recent history (aka the past 40 years) to actually go DOWN in debt. It was in 2000 when our National Debt went from $5.7T to $5.6T. Yay, we went down $100 million dollars!!! How exciting! That’s not exactly great with the kind of money we are talking about. We only went down 5.3% of the entire National Debt. Think about that. At the time, we were touting how Bill Clintion had a “surplus” and we were in good financial shape. The truth is we were just in “better” shape than we are now – now “good” shape.

FACT: We never had a “surplus”, per se. But that’s because people don’t realize the jargon and the difference in DEFICIT (a budgetary term) and DEBT (what we actually owe out in Treasury securities). We have been in debt for over a century. That’s a sad, but true fact. The truth is that the last time the United States of America was “debt-free” was in 1836 under President Andrew Jackson.

FACT: Carter was a ONE term President with a HORRIBLE economy and he is still kept his National Debt growth UNDER 30%. The 1st President Bush was a ONE term President and his growth never improved and was at 35.7%.

FACT: The 2nd President Bush had over $5T in growth and almost DOUBLED in size (a whopping 47%) during his term. That’s not exaggeration. That’s not rhetoric, that’s just math. There are, of course, many speculations as to WHY this occurred, but the major contributing factor was National Defense and the military conflicts the US engaged in, such as Afghanistan, Iraq, etc…

FACT: President Obama has slowed the growth of the National Debt from Bush’s whopping 15% per year down to 7% per year in three years. Although President Obama is on schedule to match the National Debt Growth of Carter and possible the 1st President Bush, hopefully, that will begin to lower.

So, armed with actual NUMBERS and FACTS, please, please, please, please quit posting little quips and pictures about Republicans vs. Democrats. Please stop the insanity that says that Obama has created more debt than all other Presidents combined. Or that says that Bush created it all, and left it for Obama, NONE of that is true. Not one ounce. It’s not true, first of all… and he’s not the worst offender by FAR, even in recent history. And it’s shouldn’t be a Republican issue or a Democrat issue. In fact, if you have ANY sense at all, it’s NOT a partisan issue.
This is an AMERICAN CITIZEN’S issue...
If you look at my table I created, it shows the DEBT PER CAPITA… that’s YOU and ME. That’s what the country says WE owe as citizens. And, yes, it was mostly conservatives that upped our share of the debt, but that’s not a bad thing. We do need to fight our battles and win the wars we are in, but when they are over… END THEM. Quit spending $40M/day in some desert country. No one wants it anymore. And the government says we don't know enough to know that the infrastructure would fall, the terrorists would regain footing and we'd be in worse shape in 15 years. Well, the sad fact is that it's NOT OUR JOB to police  the world and there will always be terror. Terror and its minions will be fought at every step of the way, but it must be within reason and within reach. We can't afford to make the entire world our constituents and our responsibility. Look at the table again. I can't afford my debt. You can't afford yours. Very few American citizens can. I'd say, oh... less than 1%. In ’76, each citizen’s share of debt was around $2K. As of 2011, it is now at $48K. Think about that. Some of our citizens don’t even MAKE $48K, much less owe it on behalf of our country SPENDING more than we make.

Look at your own family, and then look at the entire global economy. Do YOU live entirely and obscenely above your means? Do you live on credit? I dare say that the majority of America do abuse their credit card privileges and are forced to default on payments. They are forced to file for bankruptcy or leniency on their payments. And those that DO pay their bills and live within their means, do you live paycheck to paycheck? Are you forced to pay more for services because of those that DIDN’T pay their bills? It’s the same with taxes, and with our debt. Think of the Middle Class and Lower Classes of people. They pay taxes day in and day out. Their SMALLER tax contributions are what fund the Federal Government to begin with (besides our debt… sigh) And the rich that don’t pay ANY taxes are those that make the rest of us have to pay even MORE. So, America… do you live above your means? All of this gets me riled up. I need a break from writing this for a moment.

Alright, back to Proverbs for a moment, if you will… What does it mean? What does it mean to acquire wealth dishonestly? Or honestly? Quite frankly, it means work. It means work hard, pay your dues, pay your taxes, take some pride in things and don’t skip out on your check – leaving it behind for those that can’t afford your taste for luxury. It means that if you make $10 or $10T you should pay something in taxes in return for your privilege of citizenship. It means that your $1 or your $1T (if a 10% tax rate were the thing) could help for EVERYONE! What does it mean that honesty can save your life? Can this actually save your life? Yes! Yes, it can… Not only YOUR life and those of many more around you, but also your soul, and your spiritual life. I will forever, FOREVER, be dumbfounded by so-called Christians that say that they love Jesus and want to follow his teachings, but completely go against the way the First Generation of Apostolics and the first “Christians” did business… they completely sold their belongings, and gave the money to a centralized treasury and everyone got an equal share to live on… that way the poorest and the richest were equal in Christ…  I seriously doubt that the 700 Club, Focus on the Family, and James Dobson, Max Lucado, etc preach that anymore.

We as conservatives, and we as Christians have been blessed beyond measure by God. We have been BLESSED to an embarrassment of riches and talent and an era of peace and prosperity. But that can’t last forever. It’s never been meant to last forever (except in Heaven.) Have you not noticed that current politicians are getting wealthier and wealthier, by generation? Now, I don’t mean like my Papaw, my daddy, and me… and how we each “did a little better”. I'm only a couple of generations away from government cheese, okay??? I mean that they are the elite super-rich. They are the ones that can actually buy and sell people. The old days of politics used to be fun. Back when you could speak your mind, and be a character. Before focus groups and money, and alliances, and sponsors. If you are a nobody that worked hard and had some sound, good, horse-sense ideas… you could make something of yourself. Good luck doing that today.

I am tired of personal debt. I am nearly and completely debt free. By the end of the year, I will be NOT ONLY debt free, personally, but I’ll have a number in savings that will make me feel secure. A “grown up” savings account, if you will.
Above this though, I live within my means.
I have to, or this goal of mine could never happen. So, when I see and hear the news, I get tired of paying taxes into a country that will always be “in debt;” yet, we give money out to others and even those in debt to the US.
It feels like a very large pyramid scheme.
I challenge you. I challenge you to educate yourself. I challenge you to read more, listen more, and pay attention more to what your elected officials are doing. Then I challenge you to question them. Question their motives and their honesty. Question their accounting. Question their authority and their purpose. Learn what YOU as a constituent and as a citizen NEED to do to be a productive member of this society. I challenge you to put away your personal feelings of partisanship and party-lines to do something for this country that it needs. We need to control our spending. We need to pay our bills off. We need to quit charging $100 meals on credit cards when we can only afford $10 at the local market. I challenge you to live within your means and be proud of yourself for it, not embarrassed that you aren’t one of those awful celebutantes on Television and in Tabloids.

Be better. Be wiser, and more fiscally sound. Make choices that not only serve you but the greater good for all citizens and people. Or, so I am praying for anyway…


Your Papaw Would Have Loved...

I hate you all equally...

Monday, July 9, 2012

And I hope you die...

Take Me By The Tongue And I'll Show You...

Kiss Me Till Your Drunk and I'll Know You...

I'd been excited with the previews for weeks. Seriously, Claire Mayronne and I were so excited. SO excited. We had planned to see it. We'd invited several ladies and I'd invested in cheap panties to hold so I could toss them at an appropriate moment.

But to be completely upfront, I was not expecting much. I wasn't expecting the actors to be any good, I was expecting it to be mostly gratuitous, and I was expecting to hate myself and want to shower aftewards, much in that way I did after "Showgirls".

I was wrong-ish.

I will be totally honest and admit that I felt completely awkward and sheepish even uttering the words "Magic Mike" to the high school girl behind the ticket counter that wasn't really even old enough to go and see the movie at the local Cinemark Tinseltown Movieplex in Pearl, MS. It ended up being ClaireM, ChristinaT, and myself having a big ole time looking at boys, flirting, and waiting for the fun to begin! And let me just take a moment here to interject that ChristinaT has GAME, boys. She had two of the movie workers ask her for her number and if she'd like to see a "real" Magic Mike... My favorite part? She laughed and said maybe and walked away with free drinks and popcorn.

Anyway, back to the super important movie. I don't know why I felt a twinge of embarrassment. I shouldn't have, given the guiltless zeal with which I sped to such other gal-centric movies as "Dreamgirls" and "Bridesmaids" on their opening weekends. But I do have to remind myself that they weren't cowtowing to the bare, bubbly, beautiful, box-office-bonanza-backsides of Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum. And I might as well just go ahead and inform you all now, I think Channing is cute. However, I think that Joe Mangienello is one of the most perfect specimens of manhood that God ever saw fit to put on this earth.

My overall score: Totally a 3.5 stars out of 5 stars.

I mean, that's not bad, considering that I was expecting a pecs-and-six-packs version of "Showgirls;"he  so it was nice that they could actually act and there was a thread of premise to the storyline. One might say that it was practically "The Iron Lady" or "The King's Speech," no?

And I am glad that Steven Soderbergh directed this movie. With him at the helm, I figured it would be more than just nonstop stripping. And it was. I liked its look -- since it was based in Tampa and not at all far from my condo there. Claire asked me in the movie: "So, did you know about this? Could we have been extras or stalked them?" I assured her that the local movie industry in Tampa didn't inform me of the presence of Joe M. Otherwise he'd never had left my sight. Florida did look a little washed-out in the cinematography, but it wasn't too dreary. And I enjoyed the focus on personal finance and small-business operations in post-recession America. Plus, of course, the abs, asses 'n' undies.

Claire as a total fetish for the Texan. And I have to admit, McConaughey has got a body that could cut sheet metal into strips. The man is just shredded. His face is looking older, but that body definitely works for me. I can't stand some of his acting, and he is definitely best taken in small doses. But it works for the movie, because he's not the star. Or even the majority of screen time. And his, "Alright, alright, alright" that is now present in EVERY movie he does is kind of like the kick and hig-pitced "Eeeeh heee heee" of Michael Jackson in every fucking song after Thriller. Enough is damn enough. If he gave one more stripper a bro-hug followed by a back slap, I was going to hit the exit. OH, and when he finally has to be the bad guy in that late scene where he is "suddenly sinister"? I would want to use the "R" word here to mean a mentally handicapable special needs child. But I promised several people I would not use that word anymore to describe dumb, stupid or annoying things. I feel good about my life choice in maintaining that promise.

On the flip side to that rant, Channing Tatum's aw-shucks shtick can wear thin, but here I found him mostly charming and believable. And the man can dance. He was definitely at his sexiest when he was onstage and proving that his Step Up moves were his own. My favorite shot of Joe Manganiello was when he was running a G-string through a sewing machine while wearing big horned-rimmed glasses. Nothing about that made me unhappy.

The Kid's sister... ugh. What a crock. While, she could somewhat act, and she's not completely unfortunate looking, I've definitely seen a critical divide over Cody Horn, the most-average-looking medical transcriptionist in the Sunshine State. She plays Alex Pettyfer's protective, judgmental sister.

BREAKING NEWS: Did you know that Cody Horn's father runs the studio that produced Magic Mike? I think we can all begin calling Ms. Horn by her new nickname, "Tori Spelling".

In the end though, haters be danged. I mean, I would be pissy too if someone slept on my couch for free, was rude to my then-boyfriend, ate my food, and then got a job dancing, fucking, and doing drugs. OH, and bought a new truck but failed to pay me back. She's not a bitch, she just got tired of getting screwed over. I liked her. Her scenes with Tatum were way more interesting than the repetitive ones at the strip club.

Overall, I say, "Go see it. Go with someone you will want to dry-hump later."

Also, Joe Mangienello, I want you. In any way possible.