On Negativity

Look, some people are just negative. They are hard-wired to see the fault and see if and how it affects them first. That will always be their first reaction and their default setting.

It doesn't mean they aren't kind people, or even good-hearted or fun-loving, but... BUT, that trait will always show up. They will always find the one note missed in a beautiful song of thousands of notes. They will always find a way to be stressed or unhappy, even in the best of circumstances that so many others would consider a dream. If they have food, it's the wrong kind... if they have water, it's not what they wanted, if they have a roof, it could be better. If they are dieting, it's the worst ever. If they have lost weight, it's not enough. They will always want more and more and more... whatever it is, it could be better or different. They are just never going to be satisfied.

So, stop trying.

Life your life. Do what you are going to do. Go where you are going to go. Let them come, or not. Let them join, or not. They will be confused and hurt when you retreat or don't always seek to include them. And rightly so, either love them or don't love them. But don't be their "sometimes" friend. But, under no circumstances are you required to cater to them or ensure their happiness is secured ahead of your own.

The world is a big, beautiful, fun place - and even with the horrors that hit us daily - it's still great to be alive and sentient and able to pursue your passions and life paths. Do not let someone else hinder and derail that. Invite them along, but don't stop for them.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Appetite Control...

#DailyProverbs 1 Corinthians 9:24-27: “Surely you know that many runners take part in a race, but only one of them wins the prize. Run, then, in such a way as to win the prize. Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline, in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last; but we do it for one that will last forever. That is why I run straight for the finishing line; that is why I am like a boxer who does not waste his punches. I harden my body with blows and bring it under complete control, to keep myself from being disqualified after having called others to the contest.”

Suppression. Control. Alleviate. Assistance. There’s a pill for everything now. Wouldn’t it be GREAT if we had that for our spiritual life??

What words would you use to describe our society?

Materialistic…

Sensual…

Impatient…

Indulgent…

Undisciplined…

--these are just a few. We're also a "have it now" culture. We want microwavable. We want instant. But our tastes call for gourmet and home-cooked. You will never beat homemade biscuits. You’ll never find anything better than your Mamaw’s yeast rolls for a Sunday dinner on the ground. But we don’t want to pay for it, in time. We don’t want the work that comes with rolling out the dumplings from scratch. That’s how our society operates now. Satan specializes in presenting us with opportunities for instant gratification while promising us that indulging our appetites will bring us the satisfaction we seek.

Our human appetites, in themselves, are not sinful. They are, in fact, God-given. However, because of the fact that we cannot control our own weaknesses, we need help. They need to be controlled. When our appetites rule us, we stay in trouble. Ask any alcoholic how it started out… one glass of wine was fine. Then unlimited glasses would never be enough. Control and moderation are the key. You can’t eat your cheat day every day and stay healthy. And you can’t sustain stringent discipline forever either. The body requires periods of bulking up, leaning out and even fasting to operate optimally. Paul likened the Christian life to that of athletes who are so focused on winning the race that they exercise self-control in every area of their lives. That's exactly how we're called to live, yet we lack the motivation, determination, and power to do so in our own strength. For this reason, we need to rely on the Holy Ghost within us. If we yield our lives to Him and step out in obedience to His promptings, we'll have the strength to say no when fleshly desires feel overpowering (Gal. 5:16).

Another key to success is keeping our focus on the eternal, instead of the temporal. Many decisions that seem mundane are in fact spiritually significant. They happen in a moment and then you are trapped. Gossip? Easy to make the CHOICE in the moment to talk about someone. But that choice then makes you an assassin to character. You are harming another. You are a spiritual murderer. It creates a list of other things necessary like repentance, restitution, saying you are sorry, and even addressing the harmed party to let them know you did it, are sorry for it, and are ready for the consequences of broken trust. It’s not a simple breath of “I’m sorry” to God. What about the choice of lust? Or the choice to cheat on your partner or spouse? The choice of financial inconsistency? It’s a choice to lie. But what about our exaggerations? The choice we make when we use guile? What about the choice of skipping church because you are tired, even if you have responsibilities and need to be there to share the burden of work? What about the choice of saying you don’t “feel well,” when you really just “don’t want to?” What about the CHOICE of ignoring those that need help? What about the choice you make in judging a person holding a sign asking for food, assuming they are just drunks or not worth helping? What about the CHOICE of ignoring the poor? What about the choice of ignoring the widowed? What about the choice to judge and ignore single moms? What about the choice we make to alienate the divorced and those wives left and struggling with both heartbreak and children and loss and stigma? What about the choice you make to exclude them because it’s less comfortable to listen or sympathize? What about the choice you make to tell gay people that God doesn’t love them and they are reprobate? What about the choice you make to tell people of color, in word or deed, that they are less than white people? What about the choice you make to fight for minutia and political silliness when entire groups of women, children, and girls are slaughtered due to greed? The choice to look the other way is just that… a choice. What about the choice to still trade and purchase goods those countries provide, but to boycott a soap product because they aren’t Christian in their mission statement? What about the choice we make to actively ignore the scriptures that tell us to exactly the opposite than we think – to bless our enemies and to befriend and help those that have nothing?

Do you think God loves anyone that you don’t agree with any less than you? Do you think that are you more lovable from the perspective of the Cross?

Are you indulging an appetite of comfort that allows you to look the other way? Is your ability to not be bothered so great that it’s more important than reaching out to those that need it most? When the Enemy tempts us, he always tries to keep our attention on our desire and the pleasure of indulgence rather than on the eternal rewards and blessings we're forfeiting. Just remind yourself how quickly immediate gratification wanes and how long eternity lasts.

Cheers, 
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Wholeness, Fullness: God in you

#DailyProverbs
Ephesians 3:14-21

Do you ever just feel empty? Exhausted? Tired? Tired of being sick and tired? Do you feel like something is "missing?" Have you ever wondered if you are a "whole person?" We all have struggles in life that could make us feel incomplete, but Paul (or whoever wrote his writings after his death *snark*) says we can be "filled up to all the fullness of God" in verse 19.  

So, what does that look like?

A "whole" person is generally satisfied... with life, work, family, self, God, church, others. Satisfied, content... not complacent or lazy. That kind of peace and satisfaction seems impossible in this day. Especially in this age of malcontent and obvious longing for "more." The whole person also feels loved and is able to love others in return. Difficulties and hardships don't devastate them, because they are able to go through them with confidence, not of their own selves, but a calm assurance in God. The whole person isn't a complainer or someone who is quick to blame others. A positive attitude guards the whole person's mind since they know that the Lord will work everything out for good (Rom. 8:28).

We, as followers of Christ, have allowed "christians" to sully our good names. We've allowed conservatives to use the banner of Christianity to abuse sinners, the downtrodden, and to abuse the poor, widowed, bereft and those that NEED Christ the most. That creates a hardness to some of us. We lose the love aspect of Jesus. We think that any "good christian" acts like a white, Republican, conservative that looks, walks, talks, and VOTES a certain way. When the truth is, being a Christian in and of itself doesn't automatically make us that way. We don't automatically become that way. Jesus wasn't that way. God IS love. Jesus IS love. And becoming a Christian, a real, true Christian doesn't always immediately make you feel complete. Fullness, true and complete fullness, comes only from love. Specifically, it is when we experience God's love FOR US. For many years, I knew theologically, mentally, and scientifically that God loved me. God is love... For God So Loved the World... Oh How He Loves You And Me... I sang about it. I traveled with groups, chorales, my family and even on my own. We shouted it, taught it, held conferences over it and yes... me... EVEN me... I preached about it. 

But I didn't really feel it. 

Shocking, huh? That someone can be told something and hold onto it, and repeat it and tell it and share it... only to really not believe it or "feel" it. I allowed men to tell me that I wasn't worthy of God's love. I bought that lie in Bible school. I had to act a certain way, and be a certain level of "good" for God to continue to love me. I mean, we tell sinners that God loves them, even in their sin, enough to die for them. Die. But once we have converted someone, we tell them that any issues or sin, or even questions make them aberrant and in jeopardy of God's love. Cut your hair? Well... then you are in danger of hellfire. The truth is... standards are great and I have mine. You should have yours... but they should be driven from LOVE, not law. I allowed people, who similarly felt rejected, to tell me that WE didn't need God... he didn't want US, and the feeling was mutual. I bought that lie. It was ONLY after the complete fracturing and restructuring of my life that I realized, I was incomplete. I was functional, but not filled. I was alive, living, and even thriving (with God's providence) to a degree. But I wasn't whole and I wasn't full. Only after I took a deep look at my life and started dealing with events that had shattered my soul in childhood did I begin to experience His love in an truly personal, one-on-one and intimate way. Once I FELT the security of His love for me, regardless of me, my past, my sin, my direct disobedience, my running, my full blown disrespect in encouraging others to run... God still loves me. LOVES, not loved. After that full revelation of WHO Jesus is, and HOW MUCH God loves me, I discovered great joy in walking in obedience to His will. I even take great joy in my personal convictions and standards now. I understand the consecration "unto the Lord..." and not at the request or demand of humans. That  The reason was that I knew I could trust God with my heart, with my standards, my life, my sin, my everything came from love - specifically God's love. That love gave me a trust level that I could also trust God to meet all my needs in His time and way.

Do you feel God's love, or is it just a biblical fact to you? A felt board fantasy? Some far off God sitting in far away judgement? The fool has said in their heart, there is no God... Maybe the two of you haven't spoken in some time. Here's the truth... the real deal: If you long for wholeness, the key is to experience an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Not your mom, your dad, your heritage. Not your memory, or your past. God, today, can heal you and make you whole. You can till up the hard, cold ground in your heart. You can change. This is possible only when you're willing to open up and let the Lord search your heart. God is fully capable to show you what to repent of... what to live like... how to talk, walk, and treat others... 

He'll reveal what's holding you back from accepting His love, from believing it, and from moving forward to a fruitful and successful life in Christ. You can be whole. You can be full. You can be content.

Cheers, 
#JustBeingMichael ツ

God's Wisdom Revealed

#DailyProverbs 16:1,2: "We may make our plans, but God has the last word. You may think everything you do is right, but the Lord judges your motives."

Do you trust God?

It's a simple question, but it packs a lot of impact and potentially scary prospects with you answer. Almost every person I know will say "Yes, of course" and they will hope to believe that. In fact, growing up in the rural south... we are bred and trained to trust the Lord and go to church and live our lives. And we spout that and talk it and then we live as though it's not true.

So, DO you trust God? Do you trust Him when He is telling you to be kind to someone and you think they don't deserve it? Do you trust God when he says to give the cash in your pocket to the stranger? And you think that bum deserves to be homeless and hungry due to bad choices? Do you trust God when He says to you in a service, "Get up and go hug that lady" and you resist because you don't want people to look or you are scared you'll be rebuffed and embarrassed?

Do you trust God when you disagree with Him? When you read a scripture that convicts you or causes you some weirdness? Ouch. I don't always agree and want what I feel like God has for me or tells me to do and go with. And it used to scare me to feel that way, like... somehow, I was backslidden or a bad Christian if I had a personal opinion. (Granted, I try to make sure that I eventually align correctly with God and that, to be honest, He changes MY mind vs. me changing HIS mind... and there is a whole perfect vs. permissive will thing that I try to avoid. Just because you stay saved and alive doesn't mean you are IN God's will and living your BEST and most-productive life. What if God tells you to move somewhere so you can be IN His will and be in a place to grow and heal, but you are lonely or miss family? Do you trust Him?

Do you trust God when you feel like the last idiot standing up for something? When so many of your conservative "christian" friends and loved ones think that returning evil for evil is the answer, do you stand firm and trust God's scriptural commands? When your family tells you that helping someone in need is "fishy" and that you need to be careful so they don't keep asking for help, is that what Christ taught? Or if someone needs help, but they are not in your church, or don't believe in your God, or don't agree with your politics... do you withhold help and food and rent to them? Do you think they can "hear" your pitch on being someone that follows Christ over the rumbling of their stomach and the fear of being evicted? Do you trust God to work that out and you know your proper place as a tool of His reconciliation and a vessel of His will? What's more important to you, that YOU understand every detail of God's plan, or that you are IN God's will and a usable and valuable vessel?

In his letter to Corinth, Paul talks of the Holy Ghost and the very spirit of God giving us wisdom and letting us trust the Lord. 1 Corinthians 2:6-16 is an AMAZING place to read some very real, but scary and supernatural promises.

6 - Wisdom for the spiritually mature

7 - God's hidden wisdom, chosen to give to us in plan hatched before creation

8 - Carnal kingdoms didn't know and couldn't know, or it would have gone differently

9 - Eyes have not seen, and ears have not heard what God's got for us and what's coming

10 - God reveals new truths and new things via the spirit which is constantly searching for us and ONLY the spirit can take us to God's hidden depths

11 - Only the soul in a person knows every hidden thing and truth inside of them ONLY you know all you think and hope and mean. You know your motives, your will, and your purpose. The same is true for God and the Holy Ghost... ONLY the Holy Ghost can know all of God and ONLY the Holy Ghost in YOU will give you access to the deep things of God

12- ONLY God's spirit can give us the things of God. Not the world, nor other things.

13 - Our spiritual language and tongues are the things that can teach in the spirit. Only those with the spirit, can teach spiritual things

14 - Those without the spirit cannot receive gifts of the spirit

15 - Those WITH the spirit can assess and judge the value of things, and remain judgeless of those around him

16 - Who can know the Lord? Who has the mind of Christ? Those with the spirit HAVE the mind of Christ

So, then... that's pretty heavy stuff... And I love every bit of it. Why? Because after exposing the futility of worldly thinking in 1 Corinthians 1, Paul introduces Christians to the higher realm of godly wisdom. Paul wrote with lots of things I disagree: I think he was kind of misogynistic, I think he was totally a spoiled brat, and I think lots of his work was ghost written... BUT... I DO trust God to protect the message to humankind and I trust God to protect the sacrifice of Jesus and the propagation of His church. But, with Paul... he had to WRITE this passage with some trust in God. He had to trust that Jesus was divine and that this kind of knowledge and understanding isn't available through human intelligence and reasoning; it comes strictly through divine revelation and the infilling of the very spirit of God. Only those indwelt by God's Spirit have "the mind of Christ" (v. 16) and access to "the things freely given" to them by God (v. 12).

Do YOU trust God? Do you NOT see that without this supernatural insight, no one can accurately know the Lord or His ways? Do your actions belie your doubt? Do your lips say one thing about you and your life says another? Many people say they believe in God yet may not have a correct understanding of Him because their perceptions are based on their own thoughts and ideas. To us, to the world, to human wisdom... it's easier to custom-design a god to fit our preferences than to make the REQUIRED adjustments that worshiping and following Christ require of us. Following Jesus isn't a prayer you read off of the back of a tract, nor is it just having your Holiness Standards and being comfortable, white, and Red. The ONE true God of Heaven, Earth, Israel and that so kindly extended salvation to us gentiles demands trust, faith... and ACTION that supports those beliefs.

Do you trust GOD to handle you? I know people that think God can't or won't forgive them. They don't think God can help them with drinking, or drugs, or even with their life and the way they choose to live or treat people. Do you trust God to be big enough to deal with all of your mess? Even long-time and mature believers need to guard against trying to fit God into their preconceived image of Him. It's always so funny to me how Baby Christians and those young in the Lord have SO much more faith in God to help them navigate their lives, until some well-meaning older Christian gets a hold of them and talks them out of living by faith, and instead teaches them to live by standards and by rote. The Bible is currently the ONLY reliable source of divine revelation, but the Holy Ghost can lead you and give you wisdom that your human brain can't hold and your natural brain can't contain in the fullness of His Word. We must be careful to consider the Scriptures as a WHOLE—it's critical that we don't just pick and choose the verses we want to believe. For example, by focusing only on passages that emphasize the Lord's loving-kindness while excluding those that speak of His holiness and justice, we misunderstand His true nature. God is holy, but God is ALSO compassionate. When we focus on how someone looks, rather than how they LIVE and how they LOVE, we miss the mark. When we only focus on "if you don't work, you don't eat" and ignore "if you have fed or given drink to the least of these, it was as unto me" then you are MISSING the point of God putting on skin and showing us a better way. Jesus showed us the way.

Do you trust God?

Open Letter - September 10th, 2014

Hello All –

Normally, I don’t like “open letters.” But, timeliness necessitates efficiency in this scenario. So, rather than message everyone privately, or rather than make it seem more dramatic than what it is... I'll just address it all at once, publicly, and let my "yay be yay" and my "nay be nay."

Several of my friends have either called, texted, or sent messages about my recent silence. Nothing is wrong, but I’ve been quiet lately on social media for several reasons:
--I’ve been inordinately busy with work. Really. I have a few jobs and I'm swamped.
--I’ve moved houses and I’ll be blunt: that is the most soul-sucking task of which I know. I wasn't ready.
--I am dealing with some spiritual/emotional issues and learning to just submit to God’s will – which is hard for me.
--I was just taking time to regroup and kind of get my own mind in order, and my own words in order. I don't like to make blanket announcements before I have crossed my "t's" and dotted my "i's." I don't like to be caught making an announcement before I've done my homework or signed my contracts. And I don’t like it when others make weird statuses about “I’m taking a break” or “I’m cutting my friends list” or even “There’s so much negativity.” Rather than be a hypocrite (because you have ALL seen me call those types out) I just took a break and handled my business(es).

But I am going to address this fully: I have gotten very, very positive feedback and lots of reinforcement about my life journey from last year to this year. And I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to my family and to my friends. Really. My mother and my sister have been invaluable. There are some sources of outreach and support I NEVER thought I'd get. And to be honest, there has been some reconciliation and outreach from old friends and even ministers that I NEVER thought I'd speak with again. My long term support system has been amazing to me. Friends really are the greatest treasures. I am MORE than blessed with people that love me. And I’m truly lucky enough to have new friends and support as well. Tampa Bay has become home. But...to be honest, there’s also been negative feedback. Some people think I am too “Jesus-y” and that I have just taken it TOO far. That’s okay, too. It’s okay for you to feel that way, and it’s okay for me to do it. You’d likely be just as vocal and write just as much about it if you’d been healed and if you’d been delivered and if you’d been given a new lease on life. However you need to feel and whatever you need to do is fine. Mute my feed. Feel free to unfriend me on this platform. Facebook to me is a tool to accomplish a means. It is by NO means my only source of reality or truth. And I don’t get offended by being unfriended or muted, or blocked. I’m kind of grown that way. It doesn’t mean we can’t sit down for a drink, or coffee, or I won’t hug your neck when I see you in person.

All of that being said, it’s the perfect segue for me to use this platform to publicly announce that I’ve surrendered to the call of the ministry, in whatever form that takes in my future. My close friends and even just those that read my writings know I’ve squandered quite a bit of time in my life. But this is a natural progression for me; and it is one I will not take lightly, or will I ever turn away from again. Luckily for me, God’s callings and gifts are without repentance. The anointing is still as strong and the way God works through me is better than ever. God and His love are infallible and unconditional.

Truly.

And, frankly, I’ve had candid conversations with mentors and with my pastor about my initial lack of enthusiasm for anything more than just “being back in church.” This is more than a “find something good to do with your hands…” or “hand to the plow” situation. I kind of begged God to get out of it (if I am being transparent in my own journey), but the resounding answer has been that God placed me where He wanted me, and I’m to work in the Harvest. It’s hard to decline such an invitation (er, command) after the year I’ve had with the digestive issues, cancer, and complete recovery for my health and spiritual issues. Complete recovery.

I’ve been privileged to find myself in a great church and am sitting under a wonderful pastor for this season in my life. I miss my family and I miss Jackson, but I’m also positioned well to secure my job, and my finances to the point to where I can be a minister, in whatever capacity I’m asked to serve. God wants us to bloom where we are planted and work where we are called. Currently, I am working in two ministries with music and teaching at my church and loving every, single minute. Whatever comes, and whatever has to happen in my life to accomplish these, I’ve been really, really blessed to be armed with the support team and resources in this time of my life and during these transitions.

Hope that clears some of it up. Nothing's wrong. I'm not being quiet on purpose. I won't quit giving all credit to God for the changes in my life. I won't quit talking about Jesus and I will continue even further in ministry and in working with whatever I'm asked to do. Can't get much better than that for a second chance. (or third, or fourth... or fifth... or maybe sixth or seventh...)

Much love and prayers to you all.

Cheers, #JustBeingMichael ツ

The Secret of Contentment – Part Two

This is the second blog in a series of finding your contentment. In the first part, The Secret of Contentment – Part One, I was (upon re-reading it) somewhat negative. And it can read like it was imploring you to believe the worst in everything. And, after careful review, I was still completely correct; if however, a bit blunt and straightforward. Also, notice I said this is about “finding” your contentment. Contentment isn’t made, like there is a recipe; it’s found. It’s already there; like it’s buried treasure. Obviously, I get impassioned when I speak about topics, but I like passion.

[I like loving life again. Being close to the grave will do that to you.]

I like being “involved” in my own life. That makes me happy – makes my life an enjoyable and never-boring endeavor. It’s better to be involved than to feel like your life is unmanageable and that you are just drifting along a current, which you can’t do anything except hold on and worry. But, I am beginning to understand that not everyone operates that level of activity, care, and that level of interest. I even “get” why. It can be quite exhausting to always be high-functioning. But, being that involved and doing the things I do are part of my contentment. It reminds me that I am no longer a passive viewer of my life. I don’t merely watch what others do to me, and then wonder why I feel powerless. I don’t merely allow the course of my life to be directed by external circumstance, and then wonder why I feel lost and confused. William Carey was a great preacher that noted, “Expect great things FROM God. Attempt great things FOR God.” I love that. When you are active in your life, you become better informed about your life.

[Re-read that.]

Yes, when you take part in your life, you are better informed. You make better decisions. You make better choices. You lay the foundation to be content… even if you are not “there,” you can be content in the journey towards your goals. However, aimless drifting? No. No plans or cares about where you end up? No. No way to have system of “roots” in family and friends to support you and remind you of who you really are? No. Like Carey implied, God will give you great things. You will do great things. Believe that. Live like that. Once you do, you’ll be amazed at the things that start happening in your life and the sense of self, sense of purpose and sense of contentment that flood you, and your situation.

I will further use this to elaborate my point: “But, Michael, how can we be content in this day and age? If you are not exceptionally thin, ultra-rich or uber-talented… you can hang it up. Right?” Wrong. In the age where everything is a superlative, is anything really special? Everyone takes a picture of every meal and every cup of coffee and posts it. They claim it’s the BEST they have ever had. Most people live in such un-noticed luxury that they don’t realize they get depressed when they live a “normal” day. If you just get up, pray, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch, go to work, go to happy hour, meet friends, go home, eat dinner, clean your house and get ready to do it all over again… THAT is suddenly drudgery. That USED to be the American Dream. Now, if you are not strikingly good looking, eating, drinking and wearing the best and taking a private car to a friend’s Lear and jetting off to some exotic locale, then your life isn’t great and you are not “successful.” And I buy that to a degree. I balk when I fly coach. I balk when I have to wait more than four minutes for a gourmet coffee that used to be my whole week’s lunch money. We look at what media sells us as the top of success. That’s a minimum of looking a certain way, making a certain amount of money; living is a certain amount of square footage, and then UPPING that amount annually. We raise the bar every year so that where we were a few years ago (perfectly happy with our lives and friends) we would now not be content. Some might say, “Michael, you have to strive for more, for better, right?”

If you read the first part of this, I leave us with hope in Christ after I point out a pretty bleak landscape. But, let’s take this down a notch… from national politics and personal responsibility for national epidemics in murder, morality, and finance to your church experience, to your personal experience.

We, as a people lash out at society because we are unhappy personally. We crave attention, recognition, and we want to be involved. But, involvement is something that isn’t always a “right.” Sometimes you need to earn your recognition. And what if you don’t get what you feel you “deserve.” What of your contentment then? What is your motivation? What is your initial drive? How and why you begin something will lay the foundation for the peace you experience during any project, and will also drive the contentment you feel upon completion.

--Do you have to feel heard?

--Are your voice and your opinion the only “right” one(s)?

--Do you need to have your vision accomplished for the project to be a success?

I ask these for very pointed reasons. Whether in business, in the organization of a church, or even in your social circles… people take these things seriously. People, yes, need to feel heard. But that’s from a managerial standpoint and ensuring that you value people. That’s HR and business 101. But there is a converse… why volunteer if your main goal is recognition? Why let pride and the need to be in control be the reason you feed hungry people? Why let the need to feel valued and talented be the reason you simply MUST be a praise singer, even if you miss one Sunday a month and there are faithful, more talented singers that would truly worship vs. be on platform? Why let your service be diluted? Re-ask yourself those same questions:

--Do you “have” to feel heard? Or are you content within yourself that you are on your best path? Do you need that validation, or can you have the confidence in yourself that you have given your best?

--Are your voice and your opinion the only “right” one(s)? Do you accept collaboration? Are you open to others’ advice or opinions? If you are not open, why? What is empty inside you that you must be the savior of a project? What is driving the need for you to have the only valid opinion?

--Do you need to have your vision accomplished for the project to be a success? If things that are not your way, or your vision for a project, a ministry, an outing, where to go eat, what movie to watch, where to vacation, etc… if any of the things are not your vision, why is that wrong? Not just finding consensus and realizing that we must all compromise from time to time, but if it must always adhere to your way, why? There is something missing if you need that constant control to be content.

I say something is missing because there are people that cannot function if any kind of deviation is taken. You ask for a day off, the boss says, we need you this day, but here is another. That’s never good enough. Or, you offer to do x, y, and z at church, but they have plenty of people that volunteered for that. So, can you help here? No, no… that’s not what they want to do. I suppose I could say this: Not EVERY person is meant for EVERY ministry. Contentment is not only doing your best, but knowing your place. I will never be happy teaching children’s church. I’d rather go ahead on and be crucified with the Lord than wipe noses, explain why sharing is important or pretend that a handprint is a turkey. Literally, I’ll just go ahead to Glory. Now, if God called me to do it, and God convicted my heart, and God put that in my path… I’d do it. And if, in fact, there was a vacancy and I was asked to help, then I would. But WHY would God make a hand or an eye be a foot? Somebody that loves children, can answer 8072 questions about why, why, why, and would be a perfect fit would be God’s best choice. Likewise, I have talents to do lots of things, and when called upon or asked, I do them. That’s what God expects. And then there are your callings. When God calls you do something, you may not love it in your own strength, or your flesh, but you may love that you feel like you are in God’s will. That may be motive enough. I say all of that to say this… you’ll be content, if you know where you are supposed to be, and you are working to be there. I don’t love to sing tenor, but I get put there a lot. Why? I can hear tenor and sing it. I’d rather sing lead or bass. I don’t love piano, but I play piano a lot. I am good at piano. I am better at piano than keys, strings, or organ. However, I LOVE to play organ. Organ music is my passion. I could listen to it on recordings, I could play it, I can hear it live. It touches me. It’s something I just lean in towards. But generally, I am usually singing or playing piano. I LOVE to be in small group Bible study and talk for hours at coffee shops, but I’m usually in choir or on the road… And God uses me daily on the road to reach people I’d normally never reach. So, do I pout? Do I complain? No. It’s not about me, or my preference, or even my “likes.” It’s not about you. I don’t just absolutely LOVE doing technical reviews of systems, but it’s something I’m good at, so it usually just gets handed to me, regardless of the team I’m working with. Working where you are needed and filling needs are not always something that we are passionate about. It’s not always this thing where we run through a field of flowers, feeling fresh, and the temperature is 72 degrees with the perfect sunny day and low UV, and minimal cloud cover and… and… and…

[Nothing is perfect, nothing is set.]

But… are you where you need to be? I didn’t say “want.” Are you… YOU… where YOU need to be? If you are not where you need to be, are you moving towards where you need to be? There is no failure in not being there yet, because you can’t have failed until you are in the grave, having never been where you should have. But, that’s not my point. My point is… are YOU taking an active part in the direction of YOUR life? Are you working towards your callings, your passions? Or are you only stressing? Do you get stressed and worried over whether every whim and like you have are filled?

[Shut up, Michael.]

You know exactly what I mean. You did a great job on a report at work. You did your part perfectly, and your team members did great on theirs. The project gets kudos. Is the team getting a “good job” good enough? Or do you need to be called out and recognized? I know people that will need a plaque of recognition and to be especially noted, or they will literally talk about it for the next one hundred meetings. We all like recognition, and we all like words of affirmation, but you need to take a realistic look at yourself… if you are a team member, and the team gets kudos… that’s yours, too. Or if you were the leader, or contributed significantly more, I could see wanting it. But usually, those people share the recognition anyway. As a leader, I always pass credit to the team, I couldn’t do it all without them. Contentment is not complicated. Contentment is knowing that you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, when you are supposed to be doing it, and doing your best at that. You will not be content, and you should not be content if you are calling in your performance, and allowing every circumstance to buffer you about your own course of life. But, don’t despair. Contentment is possible. It’s attainable, but it’s not cheap, it’s not free, and it’s not something you trip and fall into.

[What do you mean it’s not cheap?]

The most expensive thing you can do is take responsibility for yourself. It’s hard. It costs time, effort, and sweat. But you have to take responsibility for yourself. Granted, and I mean this facetiously, but there is a grain of truth, “It’s not your fault you want to sin, you were born sinful.” That is a true statement. It is NOT your fault you want to sin. Sin is fun. Sin is abundant. Sin is prevalent. Sin is readily available. God understands that you are sinful… God understands this so much that He prepared multiple ways over the passage of time to reconcile your sinful nature with Him. He made a garden. Nope, we couldn’t do that. We need that fruit from that tree and we needed that confirmation. Granted, I don’t delve into the complex theological issues at work there. There are HORDES of people that blame God anyway. Yet, regardless of what happened, and regardless of the blame game and the fact that HE receives the majority of the ire and vitriol from this, He reached out and created a system by which he had a people. God still reached out. They were HIS people. And we still couldn’t cope. Thanks, God, for the system of sacrifice, and thanks for claiming us and working with us, but… how about no. We heard about the garden and we are pissed. So, He wiped the face of the Earth clean. He repopulated and worked with mankind to establish boundaries and work through prophets. We killed them. We rejected them. We stoned them. He was silent. He “took a break” from His relationship with man, if you will. Well, we didn’t like that either. So, “his” people decided they’d set up some rules, and see who could be the best. But, it turns out, that Type-A-law-lovers did not mind learning the rules and pointing out every behavior that our neighbor could not abide.

[NOTE: Have you ever stopped to consider if the Pharisees were happy? Were they happy with their prayer shawls, special knots, and rules? Do you think they enjoyed the ritual, or did they long for a relationship? What was the need to watch every law, but not have it inside? Lots of people follow the rules, but they don’t have the relationship. You may have a standard, but do you have the substance?]

God, regardless of omniscience, created a system by which to atone for sin. And think about how that feels. You people in bad relationships know how that feels. When your partner or spouse is cheating and you know it. You KNOW something is coming. Something bad is coming, but you can’t stop it. You can’t control them, they won’t be honest, they lie, and you feel it. You know it. But it just keeps coming. God knew we’d cheat on him. God knew we’d abandon Him, not the other way around. Nope, we couldn’t keep up. He saw our struggle. He saw that we could not make it. Enter Jesus. Enter the divine, holy, eternal Creator wrapped in flesh. God came to Earth, lived as a man through Jesus and became the ultimate atonement for our sin and separation from God. We, lost and hopeless, cannot become good enough within ourselves. You will never be content if you think YOU have the power to save yourself. You will never be content if you think YOU have to change yourself, and become “good enough” to commune with God. You will ruin your efficiency and affectability within the Kingdom of God if you think YOU have any worth in and of yourself. Your contentment will be based in the flesh, and you will never be satisfied. You can’t grow your hair long enough, you can’t be strict enough, you can’t have enough liberty, you can’t prove that you don’t have to obey man, you can’t prove that you do, you and your ideas and your thoughts and your efforts and your results will NEVER be the answer. If you only depend on YOUR strength, you will fail. God is the answer. God has the power. God has the reason.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unworthy, you are loved.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unwarranted, you are saved.

Your contentment is based on the fact that, even though unmerited, you are favored.

Yet, we want an out for the blame of sin. We blame God for our nature. We blame Eve, because surely… it’s her fault that we are in this mess, right? Or, let’s blame Adam. He should have led his family better or maybe if he had Adam, or a combination. Feminists will always say Eve got a bad rap. Men feel justified in saying that it’s a woman’s fault that we all don’t live in paradise and run around “nekkid.” But that’s high level. You don’t want to submit to a pastor, because he’s only human, even though God uses humans to accomplish the divine.

[Okay.]

You don’t want to follow personal convictions because they are inconvenient – even though no one has forced anything on you. That’s why they are called “personal” convictions. You don’t want standards of holiness because you feel they are man-made to make women suffer – so you follow them but you are bitter and might as well be running the aisles in thongs and cut hair if that’s your attitude. Sacrifice and standards mean nothing without substance behind them. Just like substance can be there, but if you feel even a twinge of conviction… you should have some real, hard talks with God about what you need to do in your life. But we are told NONE of this is our own fault, our own problem. We carry no responsibility. Why do we even preach repentance for sin, if we don’t really commit sin? Why should we talk about how “we try hard and that’s what matters” when the fact is. Your thoughts, your beliefs, and your hope does not equal what you DO. What you DO matters. What you DO is what is real. We distance ourselves from the confrontation and the difficult. If God comes on too strong, we chalk that up to “bondage” and need a pill to calm the anxiety we feel. I know several holiness, pure-blood, born and raised, xth-generation Pentecostals that can’t make it through a service without a mood stabilizer. They don’t love it. They don’t want it. And that’s not contentment. That nagging feeling in the back of our minds… we can’t name it, we cannot pinpoint what is causing it, we just feel “off.” Something is amiss. Something is not right.

[Duh. It’s God.]

We’ve been told that it’s some type of instability, anxiety, or even just that we can’t focus. But, you think your conscience is just an overactive guilt complex that society made? Will taking that pill really help you? Do you think that voice from God, guiding you is insanity? I mean, you really know what this is, right? There is a difference between someone that is truly mentally ill (that needs meds), and someone that is just too ill-equipped and lazy to confront their own emotions and internal relationship with themselves and with God. And you have to be confident in know that difference. How will we EVER be content in this world, in this chaos? How can we find any peace and contentment when everything we are surrounded by is built to make us unhappy with ourselves and need to spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need to fill voids we can’t fill to find peace we can’t create? We can’t. We won’t. Not of ourselves and not “within” ourselves. But I am going to go through Philippians chapter 4 and show you that regardless of your circumstance, regardless of your situation, regardless of where you find yourself – you can be content. You can have peace.

Part Three is coming…

ツ✔ Cheers, #JustBeingMichael ツ

On Handling Praise: Christian Pride and Prejudice

Proverbs 27:1-2: "Never boast about tomorrow. You don't know what will happen between now and then. Let other people praise you - even strangers; never do it yourself."

Proverbs 27:21: "Fire tests gold and silver; a person's reputation can also be tested."

The Bible often tells us how to deal with correction and how to accept difficult or challenging situations - from slavery to misogyny to spiritual rebukes. But, what does the Bible say about praise, accolades and compliments? How do you respond when someone compliments you? 

Unless you are just weird, everyone feels more self-value and has a swell of pride when they are praised or complimented. Some people absolutely love receiving praise because it lifts their spirits and makes them feel valuable. Others are uncomfortable with it. They look down at their feet or offer reasons why they really don't deserve such praise. Both of those situations are dangerous - one because basing  your self-worth on others' opinions is a trap you need to escape. And the other is equally as bad because denying your worth and devaluing your gifts can be detrimental in allowing you to use and operate those gifts. If you continually have self-doubt, you'll be stuck in a cycle of never stepping up to operate in your talent or gift.

For Christians, there's another dilemma. We're called to be humble, so what are we to do when others say good things about us? Because pride is always waiting to raise its ugly head, we need to be careful not to let praise puff us up. Some believers think that accepting a compliment is a sign of pride, so they make a big show of giving all the glory to God. That's fine, if it's really what's in their hearts, but too often it becomes a rote "Christian" response that's geared to impressing others, or just habit. I know someone that for every compliment, they immediately pass the credit or glory to God. And I believe their sincerity, so I am careful to judge their intent. It is not my place, nor my intent to say it's insincere, because their reputation proceeds this action in so many other areas. Conversely, I see "saints" that live like "devils" that make a show of singing and shouting and bestow all credit to God, even though they are the ones complimenting themselves. It's a fine line to walk.

My advice is simply to say, "Thank you very much." Then whisper a prayer in your heart to the Lord, thanking Him for the blessing, recognizing that anything worthy of praise ultimately comes from Him. If you felt encouraged, let the person know how the comment blessed you. I love it when ridiculously talented people are humble. And I like sharing praise for them. Lanny Wolfe can break your heart with songwriting, so can David Huff. Courtney Ballestero can sing the phone book, but you'd miss out on some powerful theological thoughts if you only listened to her singing. Kellye Huff is just a girl I went to school with, until you realize that she's touched untold hundreds of thousands of people over the years through her talent. Stacey Douglas has the keenest sense of humor and best fashion sense I know, but you'll miss her heart if you focus on her love of fine leather goods. Rachel is a talented painter, but her unique insight into capturing each and every moment are what make me love her. My friend James Wood can make me research a new point of view in ways most cannot. And he doesn't always see his worth. Eddie Outlaw reaches hundreds of people for a myriad of causes, but always shines the light on group efforts. My mother, LaNita Roland is the best pianist I've ever heard, but you are missing her entire testimony if you only focus on music. Her walk with God and the faith she passed down to me is the real legacy, not her talent. If you receive praise for an achievement that was really a group effort, be sure to redirect the compliment to all those who were involved. A blessing is always more enjoyable when it's shared.

Our character is tested by the praise that comes to us. Every compliment that bounces into our ears should quickly rebound up to Christ. If we hold onto it, the poison of pride will begin to infect our hearts. But if we pass the praise to God, humility takes up residence in our souls and we are pleasing to God, and more palatable for our fellow humans, too. 

Cheers, 
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Liberty, Grace, and Freedom

A very timely and correct subtitle could be "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."
An even more succinctly clarified title might be, "Man, I'm tired of being politically correct."

Pull up a chair and let's have some honest dialog. Peter was one kind of a disciple, and Paul was another. One was part of the original crew. One walked with Christ daily, sat at His feet, learned from Him directly, and heard the actual voice of God come from what has to be the single most polarizing human to have existed. That human, Jesus, and the polarization, being that he was also the first and only completely divine human that existed. Paul, on the other hand, didn't have all of that in his back pocket. He was Jewish. He was raised right. He had means. He worked on the wrong side of Christ. Wait... what? Yes. He did. He had means and he assisted the Romans, concerned for their longevity, in securing their interests. He did that by "innocently" persecuting Christians. You have to remember that Christians AND their surrounding local governments thought that Christ was raising a physical army and that He was bringing about a worldly revolution in government and in direct royal power and position. These people saw the God-Man walk, talk, preach, perform miracles, be incorrectly and illegally tried, judged, found guilty. They saw him whipped, further beaten, crucified, die, and be buried. Then they saw him walk into a room and confront them with his life. They were ready right then and there for a kingdom to be set up. They were ready right then and there for the balance of power to shift, and for Judaism to be fulfilled, bringing about centuries of promises from God. So, I mean... naturally, the local representatives to the big central powers were concerned. They'd be foolish NOT to be. And that's how we meet Paul. He works for Big Power, and he is concerned and persecuting this crazy, faith-filled "fringe" Jews.
--Fast forward, Paul is struck down on the road to Damascus.
--Fast forward, Paul is rebuked and shown a vision from God that allows him to preach to all of the humans, not just Jews.
--Fast forward, Paul sees a lot... and I mean, a lot, of miracles. He is in the thick of the action with this whole movement. And that means his faith is naturally bolstered. He has lots of faith, because he's seen countless miracles every day - INCLUDING those that give him complete freedom from Roman and Jewish superstitions, religions, and customs. He was free.
--Now, that is where we begin here today: 

1 Corinthians 8:9: "But take heed, lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak." 

That ONE scripture nails it home, but you need to know the context. Paul is educating LEADERS and people that are already Christians on how to act, how to love, how to show Christ, and how to avoid silly and pointless conflict that arises out of ignorance and ego. The entire book is a great "How To" set of instructions to Corinth. (Assuming we believe this was truly Paul and not one of the pseudoepigriphal books that cause so much angst!) However, I digress... that's a hair I'll split with my scholar friends. For the purposes of this writing, focus on the lesson and the emotion behind it: Paul leads us to know several important things in Chapter 8:

--Idols are still rampant. That means, by following common sense that food, incense, and other things are still offered to those idols. (Some newer Christians still held Jewish law. They still had Roman idols. They had "believed" the good news of Christ, and they WANTED a revolution. But they hadn't "seen" anything. They were learning and growing, but they were not miraculously imbued with the experiences and faith of the disciples and the original crew. They still had their idols, and the beliefs and "comfort" of the ritual of those idols.)

--New Christians are still weak-minded and may still hold some superstitions (Gee... that's true today, too. People have to grow in the Lord, and in faith. I still have to grow. I still flinch if I see a black cat. Does that mean I practice witchcraft and really thing broken mirrors will haunt me? No. But there are decades of ingrained belief and practice in EVERY human. Don't exploit that, taunt that, or even worse, IGNORE that. Ignoring someone's lack of knowledge and ignoring them to flounder while you mature and follow God in ways that are too deep for them, can be just as damaging as watching your toddler try to follow you into the deep end when they can't swim.)

--We ONLY have to answer to God. (Nowhere does Paul say that because of the confusion that we are do hold our personal standards to those that need special attention. That's why they are called personal. He was herding cats here, and it's odd to say, I'm going to do this thing, like eating meat offered to idols, that some found so offensive that it turned them off from hearing further truths about God. He had the foresight to learn and to train other church leaders in this matter. You can be as "right" as you want to be, and you may even be truly correct. But... and hear me... if you turn everyone off around you, who is hearing your message? Who are you reaching? You have to actually reach folks to get the message of Christ crucified to them.)

--These things may not be Heaven or Hell issues to US as believers. I mean, those of us that have had the experience, the tangible, and the revelation of exactly who Jesus is... we have a lot of privilege in knowing exactly who that makes us. We have been given countless, unfathomable grace to be pulled "from the miry clay." But what about those baby Christians or even Christians that are just weak in faith and not on a solid ground of understanding WHO God is? They may not be mature in understand exactly what Jesus accomplished in dying, grace, mercy. There are those that think you can still earn grace - that mercy is a word that evokes weakness and sentimentality. There are those that may have lived their entire life in a dead relationship... know about God, but not knowing God, and never grasping the life application of a true "pick up your cross, and follow me" mentality. Be very careful... something you do may not be something that is Heaven or Hell for you, but it may be for those watching you to determine if your witness is something that they believe or if you serve a God in which they are interested. You may be the only representative or ambassador that God ever puts in their path.

--Don't flaunt your liberty, and your grace is not very graceful when it offends and hurts the spiritual well-being of another, weaker person. People that need Christ always say that they love the idea of Jesus, but not the people that are the loudest in claiming to be His followers. People that are the loudest cheerleaders of grace, are usually the ones that (forgive me for seeming to judge) look like they abuse grace. Grace is there for us, an endless fountain of forgiveness. We do have liberty, but that doesn't mean we throw that in the face of those that don't understand it.

That is where the lesson ended in Corinthians. Can you think of situations today, in your life that this might apply to? Are you a church leader? Are you a Christian witness? Do you claim to have knowledge of Christ and share that with others? Do you walk in love? Love bears all things, you see. Here are examples that I know have burdened my friends and myself. Review them and ask yourself how you would handle them. How would you best represent Christ to others?
--You go out with a group of mixed church and secular friends. Do you drink? Why or why not? Your secular friends will be drinking. Your Christian friends may or may not agree with drinking. What's your answer? Would it matter if they were new converts? Would it matter if they had been delivered from alcoholism before they came to Jesus? Would that change your actions?
--You have decided that cutting your hair is not a heaven or hell issue for you. Do you tell your pastor? Do you balk about church participation?
--You disagree with other's liberty. You know your relationship with Christ is strong. Do you bother yourself or argue with them over what you think they are doing wrong? I have stricter moral codes on how I deal with finances than many veteran UPC ministers I know. They have lots of wiggle room when it comes to money. Just not sleeve length. Now, don't misunderstand me. I THINK STANDARDS ARE IMPORTANT. I believe in holiness. I believe in modesty. But let me put it this way, I have been to churches where little old ladies and men will not raise their hands, will not dance, will not shout, will not get excited when you proclaim that God came down in flesh, died for them, and his blood will cleanse them. It will save the reprobate, heal the sick, and will cause miraculous changes of heart. But if you talk about clothes or hair, you can't keep them on a pew. That's backwards. I also believe if that is your ONLY claim to Christ, then you have missed the entire purpose of Jesus. Jesus wants your inside to be right, your mind renewed, and your spirit to be knit with His. He'll clean up the outside.

--You know that certain words hurt certain groups of people. You may not have any sympathy or love for them. God does. You may not agree with them. God can handle that. You know that words only have power if you give them power. Do you use those words anyway? They don't hurt you, they are not offensive to you, they don't affect you. They hurt someone you know. They affect someone you know. They turn away someone you know. Does that change your attitude or use of words?

At the end of the day, you are the only person you can be responsible for. You can only control your actions. But your actions, and your responsibility reach far. The ripples you create, and the people you reach, or conversely turn away can be a sobering thought. It is VITAL to understand grace and the liberty that God gives us by saving us. We can never earn it. We can't be good enough, we can't be holy enough, and we can't have enough standards to EARN salvation. That' is God's gift to us. And, technically, we could have liberty for anything... but we would also create huge rifts in church, in society, and ultimately, ourselves. Is it that hard to love enough to not say misogynistic words? They may not offend you, but what about those you offend? Do you use racial slurs? Is it because that's your heritage? It's not hate? It's just taking the power out of the word? But if it hurts someone and causes a situation where they no longer respect or believe your witness to Christ, what good have you done? What about words for gay people? What about words for transgender people? You may not be offended by saying "that's so gay." But it hurts someone to have something so vital to your core being equated with being stupid. Or even the huge ordeal right now over the word "tranny." What about the recent shootings? Which Pentecostal crossed his path numerous times and never heeded God's urging to say something, do something, or just be there for someone that needed it? Or which Christian had the chance to delve deeper about God with that person, clearly needing something, and used grace or liberty to go their own way?

You have liberty to say and do as you please, but the pain it may cause someone may also be the very thing that makes them never listen to you. The ego and your walk with Christ have to be very strong to take some of this in... it's not about YOU. You are already a Christian. You are already a witness. You are already a leader. Your liberty has been secured. Your soul has been pardoned and you have been delivered. But your liberty may be preventing others from enjoying that same experience. Be aware. It's so critical in this day and age. Love is never the wrong answer, even if you don't understand the question. Kindness is never the wrong choice.

Peace,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

My Testimony... To Date

Hello Friends & Loved Ones…

I have truly treasured the support and friendship from everyone in the past year of my life. It’s been overwhelming, and to be blunt, surprising to me. There are sources of inspiration and support that have come completely out of left field. People have shown up to assist, pray and be there for me that I never even thought I’d be able to see or speak with again. And there are those that I’d assumed I’d have their undying support throughout my life, that were nowhere to be found and that I had to practically beg to make time to catch up.

These are not indictments – just facts.

As many of you are intimately familiar with, for the past several years I’ve suffered a lot of overall health and wellness issues. Many of my closer friends know the, at times arduous, journey I’ve been on with regard to my health and my digestive disorders. Those that are closest to me know the miraculous recovery I’ve been given, and how that action has been instrumental in reconciling my faith, my spiritual and emotional journeys as well.

I believe in giving credit where credit is due, and to God, for all of the magnificent and, honestly, wondrous works in my life, I give thanks. The place I was last April, one short year ago, and where I was six months ago… sitting in a doctor’s office, with a death sentence on my head. I’ve made magnificent strides. The cancer (yes, the Barrett’s esophagus had become cancerous), my hiatal hernia, the ulcers, and the perforated esophagus from advanced GERD have all been cleared by my physicians.

Let me be clearer: All. Of. It.

The testimony I am able to give is one of not only one of me working with my physicians, and the real, true struggle of trying to eliminate toxins and poisons from our current societal lifestyle. But it is a testimony of true miracles. At least two, if you count things that neither I, nor my doctor could have done or did. I think the daily struggles and the strength, willpower, and ability to get up and face the day were miracles, too. That’s not for me to split hairs on. Regardless of your belief structure, regardless of your faith and what it allows you process in your own mind - mine has made me whole. What should have occurred, didn’t. What shouldn’t have occurred, did. And even my wonderful doctor is now asking me about this God that I keep talking about. Why am I so adamant that I don’t generalize the name of God, or give credit to just any old spirit up there, and I keep calling him Jesus? Why am I so quick to give credit when medical science cannot answer my questions? (I never meant to be someone else’s catalyst, or testimony, but I suppose my plans are not always the ones that matter.) I can’t answer the theology of it all. And even my depth of knowledge and scripture isn’t adequate in the face of what is being described by two of my doctors now as a miracle. Here is what I know: The pictures of my esophagus and stomach today are that of a model, healthy adult male vs the ones that resembled ground turkey that needed to be removed and I’d have feeding tubes and require specialized pills and diets forever. I have always heard of things like this happening. And I’ve joked with several of you that it always happened to someone else. If you were a Bourn, or if you were a Craft, or that one girl at Jr. Camp’s Roomate’s Sister’s Friend got healed. We all tell and retell those stories. It’s so different when God touches you personally. I had made peace with dying. I really had. I thought I’d not have the surgery, I’d not treat the cancer, and I’d made peace that I’d squandered my calling, my anointing, and my gifts, and that I’d likely go to hell. I guess those plans of mine were also not exactly what God wanted. What a difference 6 months, the Lord, and prayer can make!!

Some of you have been precious to me during this time. You listened and stood by during my struggle in quitting smoking, quitting unhealthy and disastrous eating and drinking, and even with my sedentary to active lifestyle. The struggle was real, y’all! Those of you, know who you are, and you are very dear to me! The encouragement you have given during the surgeries, the extreme eating and monitoring plan – you’ll never know how much it meant. You were even kind, when I wasn’t. My god, who knew that detoxing and the wild restrictions of food, drink, and vice would make me so irritable and cranky! I still can’t walk by someone smoking a menthol cigarette without tearing up and wanting to beg for just one puff! And even though I can have some wine or some clear liquors… I can smell Jager or think of a Jager Bomb and I still miss it! Those late night phone calls where I questioned God’s reasoning and why I was “having to deal with all of this spiritual crap” mean the world to me now. The fact that God would even wake me up and deal with me still freaks me out. And it still makes me want to smoke. Isn’t it crazy how even when clean and sober and having detoxified the body… our minds still want what would hurt us! To those that listened to me whine and complain, to those that listened to me go through all of this and question my sanity and spirituality… to those that stood beside me during the death of my sweet Mamaw Sue during all of this… you will never know what it means to me, and I don’t think I can adequately repay you.

The end of it is not over. I had kind of hoped it would be. I thought, “Oh, Great… I’ll get involved with a local church, work, and tithe and just kind of build a great little life.” Oh, if only God would just do what I say, and listen to the plans and designs I submit!!! But that, too, isn’t meant to be. It has been an amazing 6 months since October, my diagnosis, and my release from what would have been certain death to this new lease on life. God gives old men like me dreams and visions still…

I no longer despise the life given me. I no longer despise the hard times that brought me to where I am today. I no longer laugh in the face of my callings. I no longer rail and rage against the inevitable submission I must make to God for all He’s done for me. Yes, my life is important to me… my life’s work is important to me… But how I pay my bills is becoming less important to me, because I want to make a life not just a living. I want to leave a legacy besides that of only the drudgery of what I’d allowed my life to become. Success has a price...

I wasn’t happy…

My body wasn’t happy…
My spirit wasn’t happy…

And they all began to shut down. It took a crossroads. It took a death sentence. It took a miracle.  

What happened after that is something at which I can only marvel. I prayed. I, simply, quietly, and directly, prayed. Now, I am a great designer, planner, and coordinator – but, I could not have planned and coordinated the next steps my life is going to take. The meticulous dovetailing of professional, personal, and ministerial projects and partners came together in a way that I could never have imagined, much less asked for, and worked toward… I have been blessed with talent. I have been given a mind and memory that scare some people. I have been given the ability to communicate verbally and with writing. And God has seen fit to allow my work, my career, my skillset, my expertise, my family, my talents, my passion, and my gifts to all met at one crossroad. I get emotional when I truly think of the next steps and projects. I want to make even more proactive and positive steps in my own life and thus, I’ve decided to restructure my life.

All of this has been leading to this announcement and this proclamation: I’ve quit my current job, and will be altering my career path, effectively. As in, effective immediately, effective permanently.

I’ve been privileged to start my own company, Kennedy Solutions, and I’ll be fortunate enough to be working with government and working with public healthcare. It’s an expertise I’ve acquired along the way. I’ll still be working with Federal and State programs – but I am committed to working with integrity, honesty, and expertise. I’ve already been blessed to secure contracting and to finalize all of the paperwork (prior to any announcements, thus the wait and the teasers.) And once a few things started rolling, even more contractors and people wanted to partner and connect to begin doing good work, that we are proud of, in a way that benefits both us, our government, and people. We are doing creative consulting… we are something different!!

Kennedy Solutions has also been invited to participate in national initiatives due to our experience in Healthcare, Nutrition and Wellness. I have to admit, we have a unique and personal perspective when it comes to wellness and taking care of the body through holistic nutrition.

And here is where God is just hilarious, and where my personal dreams (dreams I’d given up on) have come true: We will be doing non-profit work with both ministry and pastoral programs. I’m fortunate enough to where I’ll be in partnership with my parents and family on projects. This is exciting because my “dad” has talked to me about some of my theological and writing ideas. The fact that I’ve been offered a partnership and a book deal on a theological series is very humbling (Zacchaius, #IBGAS, and my testimony). My mom and I have decided to partner on a music project, and I’ve been blessed to be invited to participate in ministry with a local church in the Tampa Bay area.

Oh! And, certainly not least, we have been working with Google on fun tech projects and have just secured the next phase of working through wearable technology! We are excited to announce that we are partnering with Google on wearable tech and government and healthcare!! It’s crazy how one moment of fun and a seemingly harmless meeting a year ago has turned into a new part of our career and project goals. We will also be working with Microsoft right here in Tampa on win8 and government solutions… I’m even getting the opportunity to further my education and fulfill a personal lifelong dream of obtaining a terminal degree! (Working on my doctorate!)

I don’t know what everyone else is going through. I don’t know if some will consider this post conceit, or bragging. I can’t really be bothered with how it will be received. I’ve been bursting inside to share the Good News of what has been going on, and just couldn’t until contracts and business was completed. But, I do know this… the more I have relinquished my own plans, and the more I have given to God, the more I’ve received… and in ways I’d have never been able to design or contemplate. Let that galvanize your faith today. Maybe you are sick – well, I’ve been there – bolster your own faith and watch what God can do, when you actively participate. Maybe you have a dream – exercise your faith, and give it to God, even when losing that control is scary, and watch the hand of God move in your own life.

One of the great men I’ve known, T.L. Craft, said “if you make God’s business your business, God will make your business His business.” And that’s just true. I’ve never understood just how true until recently.

You cannot outgive God.

You cannot outserve God.
You cannot outpace God.
You cannot outlove God.

I am blessed beyond measure.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Feeling down? Feeling empty? Get full...

The Fullness of God in You
Ephesians 3:14-21

Everyone has a bad day. Those are just part of our lives. However, do you feel like your bad days are increasing and your good days are the ones that are few? Do you feel empty? Unsatisfied? Do you try to fill yourself up? People will eat until overfull when they feel empty. People will drink to excess when they feel empty. People will find sources of comfort and love that leave them feeling worse when they feel empty. 

It's our nature to compensate and self-medicate. We are not a people that enjoy pain, and when we feel pain, we need for it to stop. We need to end it. You know how you can be hungry, but not know what for? And how you can graze and still keep going back to your fridge because you have not found what is going to trigger your brain that you are happy and satisfied with what you ate?

But, how is it that some people never seem (publically anyway) to be unsatisfied. They seem to be thin, fit, athletic, bills paid, well-heeled, happy, worshipful, thankful, smart, educated, clear skin, good hair, etc... And we, for some reason, immediately pull our rulers and measurement devices out. Why God? Why them, Lord? Why not me? Why not this or that? Why give them this? They can't even appreciate it the way I would, Lord. They don't even know how lucky they have it, Lord!

Have you ever wondered if you are a "whole person"? Our very emotional make up leaves us "un-whole." We are born with a desire to eat. We are born with a desire to connect with other people. We are born with a desire to mate. We are born with a desire to be in a pack. Yet, we are told our whole lives to be unique, special, and called out. We are taught to be competitive, daring, and ambitious to that we will be separate. Let me just say right here: We all go through it. We all get lonely. We all want love. We all want God. We all want people and friends. We all want our family to be safe and happy and health. Everyone. You are not alone. We all have struggles in life that could make us feel incomplete, but the apostle Paul says we can be "filled up to all the fullness of God" (v. 19).

Don't let your victory, your natural gifts and your essence that God gave you be destroyed because you are never satisfied. A "whole person" is generally satisfied with life. They feel loved and are able to love others in return. Difficulties and hardships don't devastate them because they are able to go through them with confidence in God. They aren't a complainer or someone who is quick to blame others. A positive attitude guards their mind since they know that the Lord will work everything out for good (Rom. 8:28).

But this isn't magic. It's not something that you can fake. And it's not something that you have a "recipe" for... Being a Christian doesn't automatically make us feel complete, and it's not a fix-all solution for the consequences of poor choices in your life. Fullness comes only when we experience God's love for us. [For two decades now, and for many years prior, I knew *theologically* that the Lord loved me. I have sung it, preached about it, written about it, and published it. But I didn't really feel it. It was ONLY after I took a deep look at my life and started dealing with events that had fractured my soul, both in childhood and things I did to myself as an adult, that I began to experience God in a new, and very intimate way. Once I felt the security of His love for me, I discovered great joy in walking in obedience to His will. The reason was that I knew I could trust Him to meet all my needs in His time and in His way. It takes the stress and discomfort of waiting and worrying away.]

Do you feel God's love, or is it just a biblical fact to you? If you only have the "head knowledge" of your faith, you will miss out on so many things... If you long for wholeness, the key is to experience an real relationship with Jesus Christ. This is possible only when you're willing to open up and let the Lord search your heart. It isn't always comfortable, but if you are willing, He'll reveal what's holding you back from accepting His love and His favor.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

An Open Letter to My Girlfriends...

This is an open letter to my girlfriend(s). You are an amalgamation of many types of women. You are not singled out. You are not being put on “blast” or notice. But I want to speak to “you,” if you can consider yourself a collective, a group, a “you.”

I love you. I think you are great. I think that you have unique, special qualities that no one else will ever have. I think your eyes are beautiful. I think that the way you carry yourself is unique. There will never be another human being like you on the face of the planet. You could be someone’s twin, and your unique and personal perspective of the world is still your own. You are the only you that will ever exist. I want you to know that I see you. I do. I really, truly, and honestly “see” you.

Having that sight and being in a sympathetic, but “outside-looking-in” perspective, is hard. I see you, but I am powerless. I see your struggles, and yet, I cannot tell you how to navigate them perfectly. I want to offer support, but without directing you. And I think that the pain you endure is needless, and in some ways, self-inflicted. I am concerned for you. I am worried for you. I pray daily for you. I don’t know how to help you, other than to be a shoulder, and to pray. But I also think that you need to be told a few truths:

• God never makes people to be copies of anything else. I’ve never known any artist that appreciated being told how to create art. I’m sure God gets pretty pissed off when you explain to Him that he made mistakes. I know you share a thousand pictures and inspirational quotes from Instagram about this, but do you read them? Do you believe them? You should.
• I’ve never known you to be secure. Ever. I get that you were raised this way from birth, but you might want to change this before you take this behavior into your golden years. You have stated you know this, but if you are not doing anything real, or measurable to make those changes, you are just talking in circles with the same group of people. What good does that do?
• Life isn’t something that you wait to begin. You won’t be happy “when.” You must make each moment of your journey count. Life will not be any better, or worse, or any more “livable” when:
• You finally pay off your loans
• You get that car
• Your divorce is final
• Your husband comes to his senses about your worth
• You get shoes that make that other heifer eat it!
• You are finally in a relationship
• You get married
• You get a fancier purse
• You have a baby
• You find a better best friend
• Why would you ever give up your dreams for someone else’s dreams? Can they not be accomplished together, as a unit? As a couple? As a “we?” If the answer is no, then that is NOT the couple, “we,” and unit you should be in…
• Men want a Proverbs 31 woman, and we talk, preach, and write books about it. Yet, we rarely talk about what kind of man WE need to be, in order to attract that type of partner. You will never attract a man that is worthy of a Proverbs 31 woman, if you don’t demand it. You can’t “be” a Proverbs 31 woman, and hold that as a standard-bearer, if you allow yourself to be treated as something else. If you don’t require good, fair, and equitable treatment – why would you think you are going to be treated that way?
• Just like you have standards of how you would like to be treated, you should give that respect back. Respect goes two ways, and if you are constantly upset at how others treat you, but never at fault in your mind of how you treat others, then you have some self-reflection time to take. 
• Grown women don’t “pretend” something didn’t happen, like they were on a child’s playground. Adults address the issue, and move past it, if possible and applicable. Forgiveness is there for a reason. Trust me, if you are my friend, I will forgive any grievance I have, but I won’t ignore it.
• Generally, you think too much. About everything. Calm your mind, breathe deeply, and understand that as a designed, created, and unique person, you deserve the respect, time, and peace that anyone else deserves. You don’t deserve more, but you don’t deserve less. Not every single thing is about you, your business, or for you. You do not have to expend any energy on what some other man or woman thinks of you. You just don’t. Save yourself the time and frustration.
• If you love someone, that is not always enough. I know that is heartbreaking news, but it is true. Love will not pay your bills. Love will not get you a job. Love will not put food on your table. Love will not make you live for God. Love is a comfort, and a luxury, and an extra. It is not a requirement, nor is it a right or a promise. You have been sold a lie, and you have been sold a fairy tale. You will be happier if you realize that real, true love is hard work and it is something YOU create, not fall into, or out of, or are “blessed” with.
• Love does not always equal faithfulness. I know many men that love their partner, wife, spouse, husband and cheat like dogs. They don’t “mean” it badly. They “love” their partner for all of the home life, and things offered there, but that isn’t always enough. You need to decide you’re your acceptable boundaries are, and how you would expect to be treated, and how you expect your treatment to be received. It’s not all your fault, but it’s not all his either.
• Yes, we like sports. But hear this… it’s because it has numbers and someone wins. That really is why… it’s not some deep rooted sexual thing. It’s not ingrained. It’s genetic and it’s how we are raised to be in power. Sports aren’t about how we FEEL. It’s binary. It’s “did you win, or lose.” Who did better? Who did what to help win? Individual, team, Olympic, whatever… sports are easy because we don’t have to talk for four hours about who said what that made them FEEL badly about a sports. We sportsed our hardest and outsportsed the other sports and won! That’s the basic reason. 
• Yes, we think participation trophies are dumb.
• Yes, we agree that it’s dumb to have overly-sensitive men. You don’t really like them either. But you don’t want us to be too distant either. It REALLY does confuse and frustrate us, both as your friends and as the guys you would date.
• You assume that your ability to split a hair seven ways is also something men do. No.
• Men are generally not good people. There are a few good ones. And there are many, many of them that strive to be the best they can. But almost EVERY man is flawed, hard-headed, and reared to be excellent and believe in himself. Men are never raised to constantly berate themselves, diet, feel less than, or fight over things that are superficial. Men are raised to be in power, and feed, and grow. As a partner to that, you need to get over the fact that you, as a woman, are generally raised to keep yourself small, and only reward yourself out of excellence, and not because you deserve to be raised that way to just naturally be powerful and excel. That is an unfortunate lie you have been taught.
• Why would you ever argue or fight in public with another woman? Oh, honey... Facebook, Twitter, and your text messages are public.
• Why would you consider yourself the winner if you "won" the guy in a fight with another woman? You are still the loser in that situation, honey. Your man is trash at that point. And you are not any better off for having "kept" him in that situation.
• Why would you berate another woman on her level of what you deem is acceptable levels of femininity? You hate it when men do that with masculinity? Why would you exhibit the exact behavior?
• Why would you constantly rotate your friends? You seem to constantly be talking about one of us, to the rest of us… I say this in love, but you always talk about your opinion on one person of the day, to all of the rest of the group is noticed, and it’s weird. That’s why people get testy. If you will talk TO us about the others, you will talk ABOUT us to the others, even under the guise of venting.
• You will always be the other woman, until you remove yourself from that position. If he will cheat WITH you, he will cheat ON you. It is not his wife’s fault, it is his fault. Regardless of what she is, or is not, he will never leave her for you. If he does, he will leave YOU for the NEXT one.
• You can proclaim, all day long, that you are a modern, empowered, liberated woman. Great. I think that’s just great. Go for that. Be yourself, be unique, and be excellent. But if you proclaim, that… please live up to that. 
• Don’t back down on being a great, empowered lady, if you are just going to cry about being single. 
• Don’t claim to be unique and how you are holding out because you deserve it, if you are making a spectacle of yourself in public by dating any old man that will give you 5 minutes of attention.
• Don’t claim that you are excellent and a Daughter of the King, if you are allowing yourself to be used like public toilet, and then wondering why no one thinks you are marriage material, datable, or even respectable.
• I do not think anyone should ever be disrespected, but hear me clearly… if you see a person in a police uniform, you assume they are a policeman. If you see a person in a fire uniform, you assume they are a fireman. If you see someone in a whore uniform, you just naturally assume they’re a whore. Don’t cry foul because someone thinks you are a skank, if you dress, walk, and talk like a skank.
• If you are dating, shacking up, partnered, married, and your partner is beating you. Leave. I made the horrific and awful mistake of allowing someone to hit me, and then I hit back. And then they hit me, and I’d hit back. I should have turned my back, walked away and never looked in the rearview mirror. What happened was that I was brought to that level, acted in a completely irrational, childish, and retaliatory way and I hit back. Some think that’s fine, I don’t. I wish I hadn’t… but if you get hit. You need to move on. Period. The end.
• If you are married, and your husband is cheating on you. Do you find this acceptable?
• No? Leave.
• Yes? Why? Because your pastor told you to wait? Uh, was it a man? Why? Why would someone tell you to take years of mental abuse? Why would they not counsel the offending party to restoration, instead of the VICTIM to adapt to abuse? I don’t understand that. From a male perspective, a man would NEVER take that advice or adapt to mental and emotional abuse.
• Yes? Well, if you are into that, and he does, and you are allowed to, and it’s open and your business… that’s up to you. I don’t think that’s right, and I don’t want to know, but you do you, honey.
• When you have a guy that loves you and does things for you and is kind to you, and treats you well and is interested in you, and you put him in your friend zone… that’s your fault. 
• When someone, anyone, tells you who they are, you should pay attention to that and listen to what they’ve said.
• Girls that tell you how hard they go, and how they “keep it real,” are “crazy,” or that they will “cut someone”… well, then listen to them. Heed their warning! They are telling you straight up… and when they turn that ON you… you always act surprised. Stop it.
• Guys that tell you they are not interested are not interested. Stop analyzing every single word of every text, email, FB, or conversation. They said it. Clearly. Not interested. Slips ups, drunk kisses, drunk booty calls, using you like a toilet to get their needs met, and then STILL not committing or making any progress with you won’t change if you invite and encourage that behavior. Why would it? People treat you exactly as you let them.
• Guys that tell you they are interested will ACT like they are interested. Don’t fall for words of love, if no actions of love are behind it.
• You will not always get out of something or someone what you put into something or someone. You are promised that, and you are told that… but I honestly think that’s where your disappointment comes from. That’s not true. Guys learn that from sports, games, and the playground. Just because we train someone doesn’t mean they’ll perform under pressure. And if they can’t, we don’t keep letting them so that their feelings are not hurt. Because then the whole team fails. Girls seem to think that if you train someone, and they fail, then you got let down on a personal level. That had NOTHING to do with you personally. It had NOTHING to do with YOUR situation. Some people will NEVER be a good investment, and NEVER give you what you gave. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, or that you can’t love them with a Godly love, and try to help anyway, but you can’t take it personally.

I realize that some of these are very direct and hard to swallow. I even realize that as a friend, you may think I have no insight. But I do, both as someone that’s been there, and someone that sees from a very unique perspective. I love you. I do. I think the absolute world of you. You are my mother/sister/best friend/ex-girlfriend/ex-best friend/future wife/confident/co-worker. I don’t want you to hurt, and I don’t want you to spend years wasting your time learning a lesson that you could get over in days if you focused the energy and knew that sometimes it’s just not about you, or because of you, or something you could even control.

You are great, just like you are. You are loved, whether you realize it or not, just like you are. You are going to be just fine, even if you can’t see it. And you will THRIVE in the face of some of your obstacles, even if you don’t believe it.

I love you.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ