Hello All –
Normally, I don’t like “open letters.” But, timeliness necessitates efficiency in this scenario. So, rather than message everyone privately, or rather than make it seem more dramatic than what it is... I'll just address it all at once, publicly, and let my "yay be yay" and my "nay be nay."
Several of my friends have either called, texted, or sent messages about my recent silence. Nothing is wrong, but I’ve been quiet lately on social media for several reasons:
--I’ve been inordinately busy with work. Really. I have a few jobs and I'm swamped.
--I’ve moved houses and I’ll be blunt: that is the most soul-sucking task of which I know. I wasn't ready.
--I am dealing with some spiritual/emotional issues and learning to just submit to God’s will – which is hard for me.
--I was just taking time to regroup and kind of get my own mind in order, and my own words in order. I don't like to make blanket announcements before I have crossed my "t's" and dotted my "i's." I don't like to be caught making an announcement before I've done my homework or signed my contracts. And I don’t like it when others make weird statuses about “I’m taking a break” or “I’m cutting my friends list” or even “There’s so much negativity.” Rather than be a hypocrite (because you have ALL seen me call those types out) I just took a break and handled my business(es).
But I am going to address this fully: I have gotten very, very positive feedback and lots of reinforcement about my life journey from last year to this year. And I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to my family and to my friends. Really. My mother and my sister have been invaluable. There are some sources of outreach and support I NEVER thought I'd get. And to be honest, there has been some reconciliation and outreach from old friends and even ministers that I NEVER thought I'd speak with again. My long term support system has been amazing to me. Friends really are the greatest treasures. I am MORE than blessed with people that love me. And I’m truly lucky enough to have new friends and support as well. Tampa Bay has become home. But...to be honest, there’s also been negative feedback. Some people think I am too “Jesus-y” and that I have just taken it TOO far. That’s okay, too. It’s okay for you to feel that way, and it’s okay for me to do it. You’d likely be just as vocal and write just as much about it if you’d been healed and if you’d been delivered and if you’d been given a new lease on life. However you need to feel and whatever you need to do is fine. Mute my feed. Feel free to unfriend me on this platform. Facebook to me is a tool to accomplish a means. It is by NO means my only source of reality or truth. And I don’t get offended by being unfriended or muted, or blocked. I’m kind of grown that way. It doesn’t mean we can’t sit down for a drink, or coffee, or I won’t hug your neck when I see you in person.
All of that being said, it’s the perfect segue for me to use this platform to publicly announce that I’ve surrendered to the call of the ministry, in whatever form that takes in my future. My close friends and even just those that read my writings know I’ve squandered quite a bit of time in my life. But this is a natural progression for me; and it is one I will not take lightly, or will I ever turn away from again. Luckily for me, God’s callings and gifts are without repentance. The anointing is still as strong and the way God works through me is better than ever. God and His love are infallible and unconditional.
And, frankly, I’ve had candid conversations with mentors and with my pastor about my initial lack of enthusiasm for anything more than just “being back in church.” This is more than a “find something good to do with your hands…” or “hand to the plow” situation. I kind of begged God to get out of it (if I am being transparent in my own journey), but the resounding answer has been that God placed me where He wanted me, and I’m to work in the Harvest. It’s hard to decline such an invitation (er, command) after the year I’ve had with the digestive issues, cancer, and complete recovery for my health and spiritual issues. Complete recovery.
I’ve been privileged to find myself in a great church and am sitting under a wonderful pastor for this season in my life. I miss my family and I miss Jackson, but I’m also positioned well to secure my job, and my finances to the point to where I can be a minister, in whatever capacity I’m asked to serve. God wants us to bloom where we are planted and work where we are called. Currently, I am working in two ministries with music and teaching at my church and loving every, single minute. Whatever comes, and whatever has to happen in my life to accomplish these, I’ve been really, really blessed to be armed with the support team and resources in this time of my life and during these transitions.
Hope that clears some of it up. Nothing's wrong. I'm not being quiet on purpose. I won't quit giving all credit to God for the changes in my life. I won't quit talking about Jesus and I will continue even further in ministry and in working with whatever I'm asked to do. Can't get much better than that for a second chance. (or third, or fourth... or fifth... or maybe sixth or seventh...)
Much love and prayers to you all.