I Am So Excited About the Freedom Of Religion Bills

Hi there! How are you? How's your day going? I have been seeing so many angry posts. And I understand the right and privilege to do so. Social Media, Self-Publication, and “Everyone's Need To Be Understood” is very prevalent in our current societal construct. So, I get it. I do. I also understand the frustration. When I see social injustice, my face gets so hot. I want to cry, but I hold it back and my face and ears just radiate heat. But there are lots of people that are truly upset over some of the new bills being sent to Governer's desks lately...

But, honestly, I don't feel that weepy anger over what I've read out of Kansas, Arizona and Georgia. I know... that seems illogical. But I just don't. I do feel fear. I feel afraid, and I feel like the end result is not what people expect it will be. I feel like their zealous and anxiety-riddled legislation is not going to produce the resultant metrics to which they aspired. If legislation can aspire to anything...

I mean, I, personally, kind of love the "Religious Freedom" bills being proposed. The pragmatist in me wants to see them pass. I mean, of course, not being mentally ill and having some semblance of intelligence, the pragmatist and mischievous nature within me know that this won't end well.

(Why, Michael? Why will this not go exactly as these state legislations have ratified and sent to the Governor????)

Hon, I am GLAD you asked. Pull up a chair and read this: See, not only within the country as a whole, but on state and community levels, it will serve a purpose in separating wheat from chaff. (Huh? What's that? Well, Gentle Reader, that's when people start saying that they are good vs. bad "christians") I believe that "Real Christians" that love Jesus won't touch it with a ten foot pole. And then I believe that those that bellow on and on about it, and support it might as well past a label on themselves as those that are just "Conservatives," not truly followers of the Christ. Why such a hard stance? Why so glum? Well, I don't see where the people called out Christianity. And I don't see how any of the people that want this to become law aer anything other than "Conservative Christians" which by nature means they can't legally call out ONE religion, but they mean and intend only Christians and this will all blow up way later in lots of small ways that cause harm, and pain, and will in no way show the love of Christ.

This won't actually win souls for Christ.

So, I suppose I am at a loss of why Christians are even worrying and associating with the legislative side of soul winning. Unless I missed something scripturally about how the Acts Church, the Great Commission, and the signs that are to follow believers were to occur. Maybe somewhere in my two degrees from Seminary I missed that. Or when I completed a third degree later. Or the doctorate I'm currently working on may have missed that one, too. I am human, after all... But that's not the point. (Well, what IS your point, you long-winded...) Here IS my point: I love Christ. I am a Christian. I am a Pentecostal... As a Christian, I have to admit that these bills and what will likely stand as subsequent laws, worry me and they cause my spirit to be vexed.

First and foremost, I think that anyone that is a citizen of this country deserves to be endowed with their inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of their individual and sentient happiness. I fully support the Constitution of the United States of America and the fully support the Preamble to the US Constitution. But, let's all just face historical fact: the constitution is not scripture. The constitution is a living, dynamic document that can and should be updated as time progresses. And it should meet the needs of the citizenry of the country it serves. It shouldn't be viewed as an all-powerful, point-in-time document that men of vision created to be revered and forever shrouded in "See, what had happened was..."

They didn't found America on the principles of "Christianity." This wasn't founded as an Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian nation. This country wasn't even "founded." Let's be clear, the men that came here as "pilgrims" were coming here to colonize this area for England. That's what colony means. Territory, area, land owned by... any of this coming back to you from elementary history lessons? This country started out as a territory of Great Britain and the people were subjects to the King of England. We were basically a low-class suburb with a horrible commute that stared out so we could rape and pillage the land for natural resources, use that ill-gotten gained goods to impress royalty so we could be left alone and not get killed over stupid court issues and religious zealotry that riddled the bored upper class of 1500/1600's England. You know... kind of like the upper middle class of America today. Befuddle the working class so that they don't know the waste and luxury spent on anyone that makes higher than 250G's. (Gentle Reader: Get that right in your head, and take time to let your blood pressure go down). Christopher Columbus didn't sail here in the late 1400's a-lookin' for a better way to serve Christ. He sailed her on behalf of Spain for money, and a-lookin' for fortune and fame. Then, the "New World" opened up and England came and let the many, many issues of the Western Europeans loose onto and into the indigenous peoples of the Americas. We came here for money and stole land and killed people. We didn't come here to be the U.S.A and have ill-informed and uneducated debates. (Breathe in, hon. Just breathe. Just let all of those truths sink in. You can still love Jesus and be smart and educated. It's hard, and you have lots of obstacle, but you CAN. You can have knowledge and use it for good. You can be educated on these things and realize that Jesus didn't ride dinosaurs to the Indians and set up hetero-anglo dominion in the Americas waving flags and shooting Biblically-relevant six shooters.)

Once the "Founding Fathers" came together to BREAK AWAY from England over money, rights, and land disputes (you know, that little matter of “equal representation for taxation” or as the lower class and middle class like to call it: ' no tax breaks') they drafted a document to ensure that no one people would be ruling class, and no one people could be "less than" or "others." Well, that's not exactly true of the time... you were not "less than" if you are a free, white, heterosexual male of means. If you were white, but Irish and an indentured servant or a share-cropper. Uh, bye, gurl... Get yo' po' butt back to your shanty. And unless you were a woman, black, Jewish, immigrant, Irish, Italian, alleged witch, or some type of "other." But these all-knowing, revered, misnamed, "founders" didn't mean to be that way; they were just men of their time. See, that's why all those updates to the Constitution and THAT'S how we got all of those nifty ammendments, but that's a whole 'nother socio-political history lesson.

Back to the "Christian Founding of 'Murica'" - So, these "founders" were mostly a non-Christian group. They were Deists. There may have been a Quaker or two thrown in the mix. I recall that there were lots of Anglicans. But they were not what you'd see on TBN, PTL, 700 Club, Focus on the Family, etc... And thank GOD for that! Otherwise, we'd likely never have gotten this country off of the ground. Although, some did enjoy a garish wig or two! ;) However, fashion-of-the-times aside, what they did do was ensure that regardless of your beliefs, as crazy as they might be; you were entitled to hold them! And they ensured that while the PUBLIC SECTOR has to hold to strict guidelines that ensure that all of the citizenry are treated equally, they do allow for the PRIVATE SECTOR to behave as it will. You can refuse service to anyone for any reason, to this very day. You won't need any new law for that...

I would also like to point out that being a Christian is a true belief construct and a resulting lifestyle that follows the tenants of your professed faith. You cannot merely verbally assert your faith in Christ, without the subsequent and very real "works" that follow it. (i.e. the tenant that 'Faith Without Works Is Dead'). And, furthermore, and quite ingeniously on God's part, you cannot win salvation BY works, only through faith, therefore, to (proudly) hold that title, you must have faith in Christ, the divinity of Christ, and then through that faith, you will have the lifestyle of a Christian and the works that follow someone that professes such. Being affluent, white, and voting conservative does not make you a "Christian." Just like overall, "Conservatism" does not inherently equal "Christianity."

The favor that truly occurred generations ago with our “founding” fathers is that they clearly sought the separation of Church and State. This was fresh in their minds, due in large part to the debacle that England had faced with Catholicism, Protestants and a resultant Church of England. That may be a bit too much history for some, but it's the truth. As Elizabeth noted after her staunch Catholic sister died: “People have to be able to live as God directs their conscience.” For example, as a Christian, I am all for prayer in school. But, where I differ from most Southern, Bible-Belted, White, Conservative, Christian folks is that I am not for school-led prayer. I am not for anyone leading children, save their parents. I don't have children, BUT IF I DID, I'd not want them to be anything other than the religion I raised them to be. I believe what I believe because I've done my research and I have eliminated the options I feel don't suit me, or would not suit MINE. And, while I believe in the citizens' right to pray whenever, wherever, however they want to, I don't think it's anyone's business to tell me when or where I can pray. If you want to pray in the bathroom, in your shower, in the car, on the bus, at school, in a meeting, at your desk... do it. And I think the Government should allow it and stay out of it. I also think work should stay out of it, or give leeway and some privileges to that. But realize this... prayer in school doesn't naturally equate to a Christian prayer to what is commonly accepted as the Judeo-Christian God, Jehovah, Creator, I AM, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. If you don't want your children exposed to prayer from other religions, cultures, and beliefs, or to be exposed to teachings that may derail them from what you want instilled in them at home - well, then you should probably support the separation of Church and State.

Please realize, I am a Christian. I am not even what most would call a "mainstream" Christian. I am a Pentecostal. I believe in Oneness. I believe in the full divinity of the Christ. I believe in the supernatural, God's omni-attributes. I believe in the Holy Ghost and being so full of God's love and full of God's Spirit that signs and wonders follow. I want the continued freedom to not only believe that, but to practice that. I want the freedom to gather with other believers that practice that. But, I understand that Freedom of Religion means freedom of ANY religion, freedom of ALL religion. If I expect tolerance (not necessarily a 'celebration' of my difference, but tolerant, benign, goodwill and being left to attend and worship as my conscience and God direct) then I have to be willing to extend tolerance. There is an old story about "When They Come for You."

But that does beg the question: "Why?" Why is this considered an affront to minorities? Why get all uppity? Why is this such a big deal? Why do non-white folks and non-straight folks even care? Is this an infringement of one set of civil liberties while ensuring a different set of civil liberties?

Yes and no.

I think that every citizen has been endowed with the right to pursue thier civil liberty. I think that if you are a grown adult, non-indigent, pay your own bills, and of sound mind and health, that you have every right to worship as the Creator dictates to your conscience. I think that, for me, that means I will attend Pentecostal worship services, give of my time, money, and goodwill toward that end. I will support them and promote them. I will pray for them, I will endorse them. That does not mean that I will lobby to have Presbyterians and Lutherans shut down. I will not tell my Senators that Baptists are TV-watching hussies that can wear lipstick and should be shunned or legislated into submission. I have never asked that my non-Pentecostal friends or even those that are just not "Godly" enough be limited by government exception, or treated differently on a personal level. I don't buy into that due to my personal Christian faith, and what I pray is a Godly example in my walk with Christ. Yet, if called upon to document those actions, I'd be able to point to scripture and verse. I'd be able to quote them in multiple translations, with historical context references, and I'd be able to hang all of the law on those references. Would you?

The bottom line is that the government cannot legislate morality. Moral and ethical responses to any myriad of topics will vary as much as any person. You may be 7 of 10 on this, or 4 of 10 on the next one. You may be either progressive or conservative or anywhere in between on any topic and come up with an overall range of "where you fit." But, hopefully this Freedom of Religion Bill in various states will allow for States' Rights to allow the good Christians that are living by the Bible to eschew any "Bad Christians" that are not quite up to snuff.

You cannot legislate spirituality. A person's personal faith that guides their moral compass and dictates tenants of belief cannot be mandated, cannot be regulated and should not be legislated. God is the great judge of a human heart, and God is the one that knows the truth, even when lies are spoken. God knows intent, even when your words are kind, and the result is cruel. Maybe these bills can shed light on what God really, truly meant when He called on us to judge others. We are called to judge the fruits of others and to be as wise as serpents in our daily walk for the Lord. These pieces of legislation may truly help every religion to have that measuring stick of what is intended. The government authorized, legislated code of conduct on what a good "Christian" should be before service and social acceptance may occur.

You cannot regulate stupidity. You just can't.

The very people championing these causes will wake one day to realize that they are, in fact, the minority: racially, spiritually, ethically, socially, and they will be in fear. They will realize that they gave away their OWN freedom when they sold everyone else's. The law is clear that you must have documented proof that you are put out, hurt, and offended by someone else to deny claims under this law and religious freedom. Everyone will now be on trial. You can claim religious freedom, but in court, your paperwork must stand up to scrutiny. Your personal life must be above reproach. Your past, and all of your prejudices, proclivities, proactions, pride, and problems must be able to withstand the harsh glare of public consumption. You think the guise of this bill will protect you while you give out general platitudes of your convictions and how you use it divisively, but it will unite us all as we all splinter and fail while everyone polices everyone else. We will all feel the sting of being turned away due to someone’s “religious freedom.’

An example of this very method was on a message board about these very bills. The topic was religious freedom. The clear secondary topic was legislation, and the majority of the commentary was about gay marriage. Um, not exactly the neither desired topic, nor what the "journalism" had been about. But one comment of note stated: "Jesus said one man one woman. If your a Christian, you follow Christ." That comment had 72 likes at the time. Obviously the commenter meant that on the topic of marriage, scripture defines marriage as one man and one woman, bound together, faithful, and that they serve the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God. They meant that Jesus stated this at some point of his earthly ministry, and that if you were to claim the banner of Christ, and use the term "Christian" to identify yourself, then you follow Christ's teachings and his wording.

Sadly, I am forever going to have my diagnosis of OCD and I was immediately drawn to the fact that they were unclear, didn't use context, and had poor grammar. *said marriage was... *you're *the teachings of the... Let's be honest, the Devil is in the details. And we all know that even the Devil can quote scripture. And even the devils believe in God and tremble with fear... so, take what I am about to point out to you with either... learning or a grain of salt. My goal isn't to force you to agree with me, bolster me, or believe what I believe. My job, and my only job, is to spread God's Word, and give an honest account of what I interpret that to be. Take that as humbly as you will.

Nowhere did Jesus talk about homosexuality. There is ONE vague possible reference in the use of the word Raca where he is protecting people from being bullied by the possibly slang translation of the word Raca which might have been a word like "fag." He did talk about the silliness of the "Church Leaders'" questions when wanting to know about folks with multiple marriages and writs of divorce. And he did talk about the divorce decrees under the law. He did talk about Heaven not being bothered by marriage and that those fortunate enough to make it "neither marry, nor are given in marriage." That's it in all of the research I've ever encountered.

Jesus said nothing. But he spoke volumes when He gave His life.

You know who DID talk about marriage a lot though was Paul. He clearly had his issues, and there are tons of things he wrote over his ministry - specifically about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7. He wrote of how marriage was for the husband and wife, and those seeking God should try to stay single, to focus on God, unless they just HAD to consummate relationships, then it was better to marry than to burn. He spoke to Timothy of the office of the Bishop and how they should only have one wife. Now does that mean polygamy? Or does that mean never divorced, or remarried after issues or even a death? If you are to pastor and carry that burden, what is your role in your personal relationships?

There really are few words given on that, other than those I've pointed out. Yet, I've seen so many pastors divorce and remarry and continue to serve the Lord in an official capacity. Some may have even led places of learning for ministry. They may have been extremely vocal conservatives and ranted and raved about holiness, but what of their literal following the letter of the law when tragedy, divorce, and scriptural detail come up in their lives? What of their ex-spouses that go on to other successful marriages and careers and continued ministry? Some even have blended families. Some go on to continue to pastor and carry the title of "Bishop." Some have spouses that die and then remarry to avoid being alone. Scripture offers no loopholes for this, yet, the stigma of those issues has passed with time. Why? There is clear and definite scripture associated against that. So, I guess under this law, if your third wife offends the arranged marriage of the Muslim you hire to work on your home, should they notify you that your sin and your blatant disregard of marriage law in scripture is an affront to them before they deny you service? Or can they just say no?

What if your stricter churches did that to the more relaxed churches? (Specifically, the drinking of alcoholic vs. non-alcoholic beverages for Communion). Some of the people like for THEIR blood of Christ to be non-alcoholic. And some believe that if you truly want to see Jesus, it's wine, not Welch's! Yet, Proverbs clearly states that wine is fine, just not too much. Jesus used His very first miracle to create wine, and anyone that's a Bishop has to abstain from "strong drink." How will the courts interpret these in the disputes and varied responses under "religious freedom?" Or is all of this moot because it really is to specifically discriminate?

For instance, you can choose not to hire gay people, and you can be offended by their marriages. But you must have documented proof that your religion thinks this is sacred and that you, personally, adhere to this. Maybe you think "sexual sins" are worse than other sins in the Bible. And let's make this real for some folks... maybe YOU are very vocal in your Facebook posts about how you "just can't fathom why gays exist" or "why would two guys love each other" or how you, in your present state cannot even imagine not living for God. Well, hon.... let's be clear, you SURE could "fathom" not living for God when you got pregnant in the back of a car before you were married. #Bloop You "fathomed" a few sexual sins were when you have multiple partners before you found "the one" and conveniently forgot how big of a whore you were dancing on table tops in downtown Jackson.

Or, if we need to, we could look at how you pontificate on how those pesky "special rights" gays need to quieten down because they are "okay to know," and you even "have some as friends" but don't let them get all "in your face." Aww, that's cute dude. I remember when you were the biggest loser in class. And even though, for instance, if you are now divorced because you had an illegitimate baby due to an affair - then maybe you shouldn't be championing Chick-Fil-A and be all "Rah Rah" about how awful gay men are for marriage. You should probably worry about where YOU are failing your first wife. Oh, and your bastard child. And how if you marry again you are technically committing adultery, causing your new "virgin" to commit adultery and that either of you should be allowed in church services, or you should relinquish your role as a minister. Right???

*cue crickets* I mean, let's only uphold these and truly pass these amazing bills if we are going by scripture or as my early commenter pointed out "What Jesus Said." Or if you really don't want to have to serve someone of another religion because they are just full of hate for Americans, then maybe you should realize that you can't use the N-word, or the K-word, or the R-word, or any number of other issues. This will go both ways. You will lose YOUR ability to be yourself, under your religion the very instant you regulate and legislate someone else's ability to be themselves under THEIR religion...

• Or maybe you shouldn't be so gung ho to hate on Muslims or Jews. Under this law, they can refuse service to you, as well. Where would you get your diamonds???
• Or maybe you think interracial marriages are sinful and we can FINALLY begin to refuse service to those couples and their gorgeous, mixed children.
• Or maybe you think women should only work in the home, and be subservient to their male spouses. Because someone that thinks that could refuse to hire a woman, even part-time. That might ruin your two-income household. Who would clean the office buildings then?
• Or maybe you think any number of things that your religion wants YOU to know. Like, dress codes, what is acceptable to watch, where it is acceptable to go eat, to go shop, to live, to recreate... if you don't adhere to those, and document how you adhere to those, how can you prove in court why your religion means so much to you?

The bottom line is that anyone can argue the legal perspective. The bottom line is that anyone can talk about being lawful. The bottom line is that anyone can live under the law and with legalistic attitudes. The bottom line is that the Pharisees and Sadducees lived under legalism.

So, after all of this... what DID Jesus really say? Here's what Jesus really said:

• 1 - Love God with all of your heart, your soul, and might. Love God. Period.
• 2 - Love your neighbor, as yourself. Period.

After this, ALL of the law hangs on these two commandments. You can live the law to the greatest detail, and you can miss the relationship with God. You can live the law and be perfect, and still bust hell wide open for not knowing, and not having a relationship with, God. And if you have a relationship, God will clean you up, you don't have to clean anyone else up. That's God's job, not yours. And if you have a real relationship with God, you will love people. You will love their souls, and you will worry for them, and pray for them, and hope for them, and have compassion and love for them. Like Jesus did. Like the Christ did. Like the founder of our faith did. You won't be cruel. You won't be over-bearing or take joy in their correction or failure of tenants of the faith. You will love them and work to restore them. You don't take joy in completing the Devil's task for him. You don't side with the Accuser.

These are scary times and we are fearful of everyone. We are fearful of next steps. We've sold our future stability for present luxury. It's right to be fearful. But God has this and God is in control. What does that even mean? I can't predict the future, but I know who holds the future. What is the right thing? What is the good thing? What is the proper and most Christ-Resembling thing?

Be kind.
Be respectful.
Be honest.
Be loving.

Kindness is never the inappropriate reaction. Compassion and empathy is never the wrong choice. You can be the strictest of conservatives or the most liberal of progressives... and you can be the cruelest to your fellow humans in your march for your ideals, regardless of what they be. What you can do, is be kind. What you can do, is allow others to see that regardless of your obvious differences, you can show compassion. You can show kindness.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

Two Gates

Narrow-minded.
Square.
Fuddy duddy.
Prude.
Goody-two-shoes.
Saint.
Holier-than-thou.
Papaw, or Mamaw.
Snob.
Bigoted.
Judgmental.

Do these sound familiar? Do these apply to you? Do these negative sounding words and phrases make you cringe? Do you get tired of explaining why you don't "do something?" I don't do this... I don't do that. I think it's a sin to [insert any number of things you might think are a sin.] You don't have to even condemn others anymore to be considered any of the aforementioned words. Your very witness of living your own life begins to be a sensitive topic. People want the lowest-common-denominator to be "their" viewpoint. It's no longer enough to be friends with someone of a differing opinion, religion, or viewpoint anymore. It is not enough to be tolerant and respectful anymore. It seems that if you don't affirm and celebrate every person's choice - you are now the bully. You are now the bigot.

The problem is, that you are not wrong. Human nature rears its ugly head and every emotion from jealously, to anger, to conviction, to pride will surface when confronted with a mirror that causes us to see flaws. We justify our actions. We rationalize our behaviors. We submit case study after case study about "why" we don't want legalism in our lives, and how love draws people to Christ, not condemnation. All of those are true, by the way. Yes... all are true.

Have you ever been accused of being a narrow-minded Christian? Usually, that is considered an insult. And we, as Christians, haven't really done much to have good PR in the past few decades. There are certainly enough "christians" out there giving us a bad name. That angers me, on many levels, and I whine to God about it. I cry out that it's not fair. Just because someone is conservative, white, and has money... that's not the barometer for being a good Christian. That does not equate to Christianity. It really irks me when people that go to church and have some cash, and have conservative values, and rail against anything that seems socially progressive is considered "the right wing," or "conservative christians." They've appropriated Jesus and misrepresented what the cross, and salvation, are all about. They have no problems stating what they are against, but not what they are for...

And hear me, fellow true Christians, fellow true believers: we've not done our fair share of the Golden Rule, nor the Great Commission. That's sad. That's really, really sad. I am indicting all of us, because we've been complacent. We've allowed Christ to be used as a political pawn, and forgotten that he came to save us. He came to heal us. He came to give us a way out of our lives of sin and most-assured death. Some of those values overlap, but conservative values alone does not a Christian make. Generally, I find the great dividing line the name of Jesus. Once you really throw that out there, conservatives and liberals alike will balk at the name. They will want no part of the name. They consider someone willing to really follow the social, political, and spiritual teachings of Christ a crazy person, a fanatic, or a kook. They will wear a button once a year about not using an "x" in Christmas, but they refuse to wear the name of Jesus in baptism or on their heart when it comes to their daily business interactions. It shows in how they treat the poor. It shows in how they treat those lost in sin and that need physical needs met before you can even begin to get them focused on what a spiritual need might be.

Yes, we are the fanatics. We are those that want to live a consecrated life, and to know the Christ. We want more than just some country club version of an insulated bubble world... But, those who level such accusations against us certainly mean it as an insult. Yet, for the true believer and the true Christian, it's not an insult. According to Jesus, that’s the only way to walk if we want to experience abundant life now and eternal life with Him in heaven. We are to be in love with God and Jesus more than anything, and through that love and our experience with the Christ, we are to show love to the world in a way that would make them want their own experience with Christ. It's hard to show them something different, if they can't tell you apart from themselves. I don't mean your hair, or your skirt, or makeup, or shorts, or tattoos, or earrings, or even your choice of entertainment, or if you abstain from alcohol or smoking. God is a "Big-Enough-God" to convict you of any and every sin that you, personally, should be doing or not doing. That's not my call, or anyone else's call. But, if you choose to live holy and if you choose to abstain from things that you feel convicted over, you can expect some peer pressure or questions about it. People get curious as to why you won't do something, and feel personally affronted if you lay it out there that you don't want to due to personal conviction. Sadly, and not so incidentally, you can expect some not-so-nice responses from family and friends. Trust me; I'm going through it daily now.

At the end of the day, there are two choices you can make. There are two gates, and two ways: Follow God, or not. Listen to God, or not. Follow through on your personal convictions, or not. It's not rocket science. You don't have to fast, consult three preachers, your bishop, the head of ladies' auxiliary, and all of your friends about it. You don’t' have to worry and toss and turn. You can listen to God, or not. But it will require a deliberate choice on our part, because no one automatically drifts onto the narrow pathway. Humans naturally drift toward the easy path.

Matthew 7:13-14 “Go in through the narrow gate, because the gate to hell is wide and the road that leads to it is easy, and there are many who travel it. 14 But the gate to life is narrow and the way that leads to it is hard, and there are few people who find it."

The broad way is easy to find. In fact, unless you make a conscious choice to avoid it, you’ll find yourself on it. Most people like this wide path because it encompasses all philosophies and belief systems. Everything is acceptable, and everyone’s “truth” is valid. It is very comfortable. You don't have to explain yourself, you just smile and nod and go about your business. Everyone and everything is correct. We are all on different paths to the same place. We are all correct. We are all right. No one is to be offended, or even inconvenienced as we walk this path. Christians get "replacements" for all of the things the world has to offer. You may not allow your kids to listen to secular music, but trust me... dark rooms, smoke machines, and light shows that emulate the same environment as a "club" don't feel very different than when I've been in a real club. Don't offend them, though. Don't be too direct about it. You are then someone that has no compassion, you are a bully. You are a bigot. If you don't do something, and you don't let your kids do something, you are in the dark ages. You are a relic. You are something to be marveled at because "it's too hard for this day and age..." But what are you for? What do you have? Don't focus on what you cannot do, or what God isn't please with in your life. What can you do? What do you have? What is inside you that many people will never know and never be able to comprehend? Trust me; everyone will focus on the negative aspect of this blog. People will think I am writing this from a negative place because it will allow them to scoff, make a choice that they are comfortable with, and move on. Some will block me from Newsfeeds, unfollow my social media. Some will say this wasn't wrestled with, that I've slipped back "into legalism" or that I am advocating "against" something or someone. Nope. None of the above. I'm celebrating what I've gained. People will focus on that that soothes though. They will say that love doesn't condemn. Love doesn't hurt feelings. Love doesn't give pause.

You know what else love doesn't do... love doesn't lie to you. Love won't let you go make mistakes, even when you get mad or throw a tantrum. Love makes you eat your vegetables and grow strong, even when you just want what's bad for you. Love makes sure that when you have messed up and have no recourse that you are picked up, washed off, and forgiven (I can personally attest to that one.) Love will correct you so that you can be better, do more, fulfill your dreams. Love makes you get out of bed and go to class so you can learn something, even when you just want to sleep in. Yes, it seems like the loving path because no one is left out, no one is offended and no one is "called out" for things that are clearly wrong. There are no restrictions, and freedom is unlimited. Or is it?

What those who travel this road fail to realize is that it’s a downward descent into destruction. All the promises it gives of satisfaction and fulfillment end in disappointment because it’s a path without God. You will get offended by other "christians" and whether or not you got your hand shook or your neck hugged. You'll wonder why some people feel justified in having things vs. those that don't. You'll want to know why some peoples' walk with God is seemingly effortless, and yours seems in turmoil. You'll constantly be comparing your trip down this path, and this road to others. You will feel bitter about not being on platform singing. You'll want to know why you can't have that suit, or that purse, or those shoes. You will get upset when someone doesn't soothe your feelings about your lukewarm relationship with Christ. You are too busy with work and family to put the time in for this or that activity, but how dare they not acknowledge the 17 minutes you spend in the prayer room!!! You will get offended when Christians and those "fanatics" are just "too churchy" or they can't be that "fired up" behind closed doors. Everyone has that wall up and puts it on for church, right? You can't really be that real, right? This list could go on, ad nauseum. Hear me, those who enter by the narrow gate of faith in Christ find the peace and joy of a relationship with Him that satisfies the heart. The gate is small because truth guards the entrance. The way is narrow because the Lord protects us with wise boundaries.

Which path are you traveling? You can’t have one foot on each, because they’re going in opposite directions. Do you love God? Do you want God in your real, everyday life? Do you want that direction and that sense of relationship and closeness? You can't love Jesus, and then hurt the very people He called you to help. You can't love Jesus, and then kill his people. You can't push others out of their chance for salvation, and be a true Chrisitan. You can't have it "every" way. Conversely, when you condone, well... everything, you’re also headed for destruction. And when you choose the narrow path, you'll find out exactly who your friends are... But when you choose the narrow way, your life truly begins. Listen to God. Christ isn't here to condemn, He is here to save. And yes, the path of a true Christian is actually quite difficult, but you must listen to those things that protect you and save you and will help you find your way. You’ll walk with Christ day by day until He walks you home to heaven.

Cheers,
#JustBeingMichael ツ

The Courage of Our Conviction...

Today is MLK day. And he has one of my all-time favorite quotes. It’s not the dream, it’s not the ones that are so often used. It’s simple, and it’s clear he lived his life by his convictions:

 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” –Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

That quote speaks more to me than so many others attributed to that man, or many other activists and well-known ministers. He clearly walked the walk. We all know he was a gifted speaker, but he, literally, walked the walk. It's often been said that someone has "the courage of their conviction..."

 

What does that mean exactly? I am so glad you asked! Conviction (besides court and law definitions) is listed as “a strong belief or opinion” or “the feeling of being sure that what you believe or say is true.” So, to have courage behind your conviction is a state that people aspire to. It is mostly said in a positive light. That person, regardless of peer pressure, and regardless of obstacles has "the courage of their conviction!” Sometimes, it is used negatively, to show that even in surmounting evidence and even though proven incorrect, a person held onto their beliefs and had “the courage of their conviction.”

 

To me, conviction is usually when God is speaking to my heart about something. Conviction for me is when scripture isn’t easily translatable, isn’t forthcoming, isn’t plain – but God tells me what is good and bad for me. Now, I don’t find, or make, those applicable for everyone, and I don’t judge others on this – because it’s a gray area, spiritually speaking. What’s off limits for me, may not be for you. What’s bad for me, isn’t necessarily bad for you. What I think IS a sin for me, because of what God tells me, may not be for you. There isn’t any judgment on my part for others. And, I generally don’t accept or condone judgment BY others on me (although so many do try to put their beliefs and judgment on me. It takes strong faith in the God that delivered, healed, and saved me to know that our relationship is REAL, and that He will finish the work in me that He started. I don’t have to depend on others. It’s a great, freeing, and peaceful belief.) I have a relationship with God. I have quite an open dialog, and even though I am still working through my life, my sin, my forgiveness, and my redemption – what God has for me, is for ME.

 

And then, there are general belief structures and accepted modes of conviction, behavior, and what should be common among believers. There are just times where I have the “courage of my conviction” because scripture, translations, and God could not be any plainer or straightforward in what God’s People ought to do. But how do we, as a people, as believers – and hopefully, as Christians – get there?

 

Well, for starters, you have to actually have conviction. You have to be convicted over something - anything, really. But so many people today just hate feeling convicted. (I hear gasping amongst my readers.) Is this too much, too soon? Okay, but you know it’s true.

--You have to know what you believe. (That’s hard, MK. You’re making this hard.) Okay, so that’s still too much for this generation, and this spoiled and “instant-gratification” society. Let’s take it back even further.

--You have to have studied and taken some self-reflection. (That hurts my feelings, Michael. It hurts and it’s dumb. I don’t like conviction. It hurtsbecause it makes me responsible for my own actions. I can’t blame my parents, teachers, professors, boss, or preacher. This makes me accountable. I have to own my own soul, mind, and body. I have to own my reactions to others. Is there anything easier to swallow on the menu?) Okay. That’s still too much? Is it, though? Is it too much to think that we are vile, sinful, and deceitful by nature? Is it too much to think that we need conviction, and then the courage of those convictions to walk in liberty, grace, and victory? (Yes, MK, that steps on my toes and makes me feel bad. I don’t like God and church if it makes me feel bad.) It is?!? Okay. Let’s just make it super simple.

--You have to believe IN something. (That’s a little more complicated, MK. I believe there is a higher power. I believe that all roads lead to the same God. I believe that the Universe is out there. But I don’t know the details, nor care. I believe that people are good, and that all of this talk is depressing.) Um, okay. Is this still too hard? Well, everybody believes something. Everyone wants to be right. Everyone wants peace. Everyone wants to be thought of as “upstanding and righteous.” But, none of us are. No one. Not one. Not even you, not even me.

--You have to believe something. (Okay, I believe in God.) Great, now we are getting somewhere. But – even the devils believe and tremble. Belief is great, but when you TRULY believe something, you act on it. #JustSaying
 

Once you really know WHAT you believe, you can then shed old fears and doubts. You can begin to live in courage. You can begin to face those fears and those doubts and overcome them. You can be someone that has the “courage of their conviction.” But you’ll never walk in that peace, that kindness, and that grace if you never know what you believe or why you believe it.

Read Romans 14. Read the entire chapter IN CONTEXT and use your context clues, couple with historical relevance, historical context, and oh… some common sense… and you’ll see that God wants us to listen to His Spirit, and his wisdom for us. Yes, under Levitical Law and under the Jewish Law there were things that were unholy, abominations even… that could not be done. And the freedom that these “Christians” found under the Grace of Jesus allowed them to eat, drink and be merry because a real savior was here, had been found, fulfilled messianic prophecy, and was going to save them all by setting up a physical, real kingdom. Right? They were free! They found liberty. Their faith and their walk induced great miracles and many were added daily… But they were still fighting. Those clinging to old tradition were calling out those that had abandoned it, or worse – had never had it and were newly added Gentiles. Surely these people that ate and drank as they pleased were sinful and sinners and must not be as good of a Christian as US! Jesus is the King of the Jews, hello! Jewish still applies here folks!!! Right? Well, that’s what they thought and that’s how they acted.

What Paul (or his writer, or his transcriber) tries to point out is that we are not under the law, and all things are lawful. All things are permissible, but not all things are great. They can be stumbling blocks to others. They can cause others to fall and ruin your witness. They can ruin your walk. They can ruin your ministry. Even when they are not salvation/heaven-or-hell issues to you personally, or even if scripture isn’t really clear under a dispensation of Grace. Focus on:
 

--Romans 14:19 “So then, we must always aim at those things that bring peace and that help strengthen one another.” I love this scripture. It points out the very basic and the very lawful “Two Great Commandments.” One being love God above all else, the second being “to love your neighbor as yourself.” Once you “get” that, all other law and things we do for God, ourselves, and others become moot. If it offends your mom that you drink liquor, it becomes easier to not do it around her, or throw it in her face that you CAN drink because you love her as yourself. You would want her to do that for you. Just because you CAN do something, doesn’t mean you SHOULD do it, especially if it will ruin peace, kindness, and especially if it will ruin your witness (not for today, because that subject is too long for this already-long topic… but we don’t live in fear of being caught or seen doing something for our witness. We protect our witness here because of compassion and being a stumbling block.)

--Romans 14:20 “Do not, because of food, destroy what God has done. All foods may be eaten, but it is wrong to eat anything that will cause someone else to fall into sin.” That seems so simple, right? But most of us are offended when others become offended. Our gut-check moment is usually: “That heifer is crazy to be offended by me, and I’mma tell everyone how crazy she is.” Don’t compound others’ issues. If God has given you the mindset of liberty and freedom, lead others to it. Don’t be the reason they run from it. Don’t add gossip and malice to your recipe for drama. Yet, we are usually so defensive. But, why? Yes, all things are lawful under Grace, but not all things are good. If you are offending others, you don’t have to make a show of your liberty. You can be free in your home, you can certainly practice modesty, moderation, and other principles of your walk with God, how you see fit, as your conscience guides and still not be offensive, or DEFENSIVE of your walk with Christ.
 

A person of conviction has become convinced, by either evidence or argument, that their beliefs are true. Today, most men and women would rather live by preference than conviction. (Ooh, MK… you are going to lose FB friends, Blog Readers, Tumblr Followers… Your friends will think you are crazy for this.) Yep, likely, I will. Likely, my old JCM friends will roll their eyes and think I am talking about standards, but I’m not. My family, my friends, and my loved ones will think I’m hiding some kind of gay agenda under all of this, but I’m not.

I’m merely blogging about my life, my beliefs and what I’m going through. I am forever changed because of God. I’m different. I am not comfortable with it, I am not even sure of how far-reaching the effects of God has been to me, and on my life. I don’t know and I can’t rightly say that I have the full knowledge of just how much God touched, healed, and forgave. But I know this: I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I’ve committed unto Him against that day. I know my conviction is to write and share what I’m going through, not just as someone that is gay…. Not just as a southerner… not just as a sinner that needs Jesus and is trying to live in Grace and follow… but as people’s son, as people’s friend, as people’s family, brother, and as someone that has been an “other.” I know what it’s like to be thrown away as a lost cause. Worse, and my own regret is that I know what it’s like to buy into that myth – because that’s what it is… a myth. I know what it’s like to be shunned and to be told that people love me, but hate everything about me (Isn’t “love the sinner, hate the sin” great that way!) I know all too well what it’s like to want Jesus… to want to be in church and be delivered and saved and used and just… be a part. And to believe the lies of the devil, and the Christians the devil uses to push people further from God. I know perfectly how it all goes. And it took a miracle, a healing and God coming to me to shake me, convict me, and show me. Hear that! It was not people, but God. It was tangible. It was supernatural, and it was a touch from what I knew was eternal and forever! And that conviction is what brings courage. No peer pressure or fear of my family and friends could prevent me from writing these things. No peer pressure from family or friends could make me change my course. Conviction is also a defense against doubt, and it’s a defense for which I am grateful.

People that don’t have true conviction choose to believe something based on certain conditions and circumstances. When the situation changes, so does their loyalty. In other words, a lot of people vacillate on issues that require a firm resolve. Yet, contrast this generation’s selfishly wishy-washy approach with the mindset of the great men and women of Scripture:
 

--Despite many years of unfair treatment, Joseph never wavered in his commitment to godly principles. As a result, he was in the right place at the right time to ensure Israel’s survival (Gen. 50:20).
 

--Daniel, another righteous man in an idolatrous land, earned the trust of foreign kings by standing firm in his beliefs (Dan. 1:20). When his friends Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego also refused to compromise their beliefs, they influenced a king to recognize Jehovah as the one true God (3:29).
 

When everything seems foolish, when it all seems like you are the lone crazy person – are you? Are you by yourself because you have believed a lie? Or do you have the courage of your convictions? Do you have scripture, and word to be the foundation and to not just rely on your feelings? As these biblical examples show, Godly convictions can withstand the changing winds of opinion and the persuasive arguments of opponents. When God tells you something, you don’t take it lightly. If you really believe God, then trust God. If you really are grounded in the Word (and use Word here as a synonym from John 1) and trust what God has said, stand firm in your beliefs. Confidence in your God, and the conviction your God brings, breeds the courage to remain strong amid conflict.

 

Once you know what God says, you have a choice to make: Believe Him and commit to living according to your conviction, or continue being tossed by waves of doubt and indecision (James 1:6). Root yourself in God’s Word and be called one of His oaks of righteousness (Isa. 61:3). Instead of following your own preferences, choose to live by godly conviction. The Bible has much to say about the most important aspects of your life. See if God’s principles and promises hold true. Through prayer and study, allow Him to firmly root you in solid biblical convictions. Don’t lean on people. People will always fail you, people will always disappoint you. That sounds bad, and depressing, but it’s true. Your parents, your pastor, your friends, you lover, your spouse, your kids… they are NOT perfect, and they are NOT God. They cannot and will not fill the hole in your heart/soul/life that only God can occupy. Read:

Jeremiah 17:7-8: “But I will bless the person who puts his trust in me. He is like a tree growing near a stream and sending out roots to the water. It is not afraid when hot weather comes, because its leaves stay green; it has no worries when there is no rain; it keeps on bearing fruit.” Plant yourself by God. Plant yourself in Jesus. Plant yourself so that drought, dessert winds, “dry spells,” and the fallacy of mankind won’t uproot you. You might lose some branches, you may even shake, shudder, and lose your leaves from time to time, but you will survive the storm. You will be planted.
 

Are you living under the law? Do your convictions come from fear, peer pressure and negative space? Or do your convictions come directly from God or His Word? Are you living your life to your best? Do you trust God to help you and lead you? Are you ignoring your convictions and leading a completely free life that doesn’t ground you? Here are some things to consider:
 

--Do you consider the Bible true and trustworthy? If you don’t, then why go through all of the drama associated with being a Christian?

--Do you think that believing in Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved? If you don’t, then why worry about what His Word says? If you find another way for salvation, by all means… have at it.

--What is the Holy Spirit’s role in the lives of believers and unbelievers? Do you have the Holy Ghost?

--Are we to forgive others in every situation?

--How should Christians approach finances?

--What’s your purpose in life? Do you have a purpose?

--What is your role in the church and at work? What supersedes what?  

--How should you think, and act, regarding social issues like homophobia, civil rights, women’s rights, capital punishment, abortion, and racism? Should you, as a Christian, be involved? Have you been taught that you look the other way?

--When you hear of the news of horrors in our country, what is your gut reaction? Is it, “Serves them right!”? Or are you reaching out, in love, through Christ?

--How do you get your news? Your education? Your teaching? Do you rely on others to give it to you? Are they accountable? Or are you accountable? Are you responsible for knowing the truth, seeking it out, learning it?
 

There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. There are no “bad” ways to go about this. But you HAVE to know where YOU stand. You have to know where your direction is coming from. When you read these and have an instant reaction, where does that come from? Is it from God? Is your reaction a stumbling block to others that prevent an "other" from getting to God? Then you may want to consider where your source of conviction comes from. You cannot lean on your parents, your preacher, your job, your boss, your sister, or your friends for YOUR personal convictions and YOUR walk with God. I love you. I love you right where you are, how you are, and for WHO you are. Evaluate what the Bible says rather than looking at an issue through the lens of personal preference. Ask, What does God say? How is God speaking to me? What does God’s scripture, answer, and guidance mean for me? Don’t ask only, “What does this mean FOR me, or TO me?” Don’t merely think of your preferences and selfishness.

It is my hope that these questions will open the eyes of those who haven’t contemplated how their personal philosophies have developed. It’s time to change that. Study the Bible and make God’s Word the cornerstone of your thinking. Kindness is never the wrong answer.

Peace,

#JustBeingMichael

Take Me By The Tongue And I'll Show You...

Kiss Me Till Your Drunk and I'll Know You...

I'd been excited with the previews for weeks. Seriously, Claire Mayronne and I were so excited. SO excited. We had planned to see it. We'd invited several ladies and I'd invested in cheap panties to hold so I could toss them at an appropriate moment.

But to be completely upfront, I was not expecting much. I wasn't expecting the actors to be any good, I was expecting it to be mostly gratuitous, and I was expecting to hate myself and want to shower aftewards, much in that way I did after "Showgirls".

I was wrong-ish.

I will be totally honest and admit that I felt completely awkward and sheepish even uttering the words "Magic Mike" to the high school girl behind the ticket counter that wasn't really even old enough to go and see the movie at the local Cinemark Tinseltown Movieplex in Pearl, MS. It ended up being ClaireM, ChristinaT, and myself having a big ole time looking at boys, flirting, and waiting for the fun to begin! And let me just take a moment here to interject that ChristinaT has GAME, boys. She had two of the movie workers ask her for her number and if she'd like to see a "real" Magic Mike... My favorite part? She laughed and said maybe and walked away with free drinks and popcorn.

Anyway, back to the super important movie. I don't know why I felt a twinge of embarrassment. I shouldn't have, given the guiltless zeal with which I sped to such other gal-centric movies as "Dreamgirls" and "Bridesmaids" on their opening weekends. But I do have to remind myself that they weren't cowtowing to the bare, bubbly, beautiful, box-office-bonanza-backsides of Joe Manganiello and Channing Tatum. And I might as well just go ahead and inform you all now, I think Channing is cute. However, I think that Joe Mangienello is one of the most perfect specimens of manhood that God ever saw fit to put on this earth.

My overall score: Totally a 3.5 stars out of 5 stars.

I mean, that's not bad, considering that I was expecting a pecs-and-six-packs version of "Showgirls;"he  so it was nice that they could actually act and there was a thread of premise to the storyline. One might say that it was practically "The Iron Lady" or "The King's Speech," no?

And I am glad that Steven Soderbergh directed this movie. With him at the helm, I figured it would be more than just nonstop stripping. And it was. I liked its look -- since it was based in Tampa and not at all far from my condo there. Claire asked me in the movie: "So, did you know about this? Could we have been extras or stalked them?" I assured her that the local movie industry in Tampa didn't inform me of the presence of Joe M. Otherwise he'd never had left my sight. Florida did look a little washed-out in the cinematography, but it wasn't too dreary. And I enjoyed the focus on personal finance and small-business operations in post-recession America. Plus, of course, the abs, asses 'n' undies.

Claire as a total fetish for the Texan. And I have to admit, McConaughey has got a body that could cut sheet metal into strips. The man is just shredded. His face is looking older, but that body definitely works for me. I can't stand some of his acting, and he is definitely best taken in small doses. But it works for the movie, because he's not the star. Or even the majority of screen time. And his, "Alright, alright, alright" that is now present in EVERY movie he does is kind of like the kick and hig-pitced "Eeeeh heee heee" of Michael Jackson in every fucking song after Thriller. Enough is damn enough. If he gave one more stripper a bro-hug followed by a back slap, I was going to hit the exit. OH, and when he finally has to be the bad guy in that late scene where he is "suddenly sinister"? I would want to use the "R" word here to mean a mentally handicapable special needs child. But I promised several people I would not use that word anymore to describe dumb, stupid or annoying things. I feel good about my life choice in maintaining that promise.

On the flip side to that rant, Channing Tatum's aw-shucks shtick can wear thin, but here I found him mostly charming and believable. And the man can dance. He was definitely at his sexiest when he was onstage and proving that his Step Up moves were his own. My favorite shot of Joe Manganiello was when he was running a G-string through a sewing machine while wearing big horned-rimmed glasses. Nothing about that made me unhappy.

The Kid's sister... ugh. What a crock. While, she could somewhat act, and she's not completely unfortunate looking, I've definitely seen a critical divide over Cody Horn, the most-average-looking medical transcriptionist in the Sunshine State. She plays Alex Pettyfer's protective, judgmental sister.

BREAKING NEWS: Did you know that Cody Horn's father runs the studio that produced Magic Mike? I think we can all begin calling Ms. Horn by her new nickname, "Tori Spelling".

In the end though, haters be danged. I mean, I would be pissy too if someone slept on my couch for free, was rude to my then-boyfriend, ate my food, and then got a job dancing, fucking, and doing drugs. OH, and bought a new truck but failed to pay me back. She's not a bitch, she just got tired of getting screwed over. I liked her. Her scenes with Tatum were way more interesting than the repetitive ones at the strip club.

Overall, I say, "Go see it. Go with someone you will want to dry-hump later."

Also, Joe Mangienello, I want you. In any way possible.

Cheers,

#JustBeingMichael

Gay is so “Nineties”… IS “Gay” Even Relevant Anymore?

Gay (gā) adj. A. 1. Of persons, their attributes and actions: Full of or disposed to joy and mirth; light-hearted, exuberantly cheerful, sportive, merry. 1843 Lytton, Last Bar. 1. i. Edward was the handsomest, the gayest, and the bravest prince in Christendom. 1789, W. Buchan, Dom. Med. (1790) 89 That greatest of human blessings [sleep]… visits the happy, the cheerful, and the gay.

2. Addicted to social pleasures and dissipations. Often euphemistically: Of loose or immoral life. 1851 Mayhew, Lond. Labour I. 382 The principal of the firm was what is termed “gay”. He was particularly fond of attending public entertainments. 1891 E. Peacock, N. Brendon I. 302 This elder Narcissa had led a gay and wild life while beauty lasted.

3. Bright or lively-looking, esp. in colour; brilliant, showy.

4. Finely or showily dressed.

5. In immaterial sense: Brilliant, attractive, charming.

6. Brilliantly good; excellent, fine.*

*”Gay” as excerpted from The Oxford English Dictionary (Oxford University Press, 1971).

So, above is the Oxford definition of gay. There isn’t any mention of sexuality. And I’m glad. What is “gay” anymore, anyway? Is it LGBTQA? Is it an acronym that keeps growing and changing over time? I finally learned the GLBT from the nineties and then it changed. Now it’s new all over again. June 2012, I had the fun and exciting privilege to spend the pride weekend and week in San Francisco, CA. I felt proud. It was a completely different world from my normal experiences. And it helped me see things I need to improve, and things I need to hold onto even more tightly. Apparently, in San Francisco, you are a backwards redneck Mississippi hick if you don’t know all of those and learn to use it. Even though I’m gay. And I am fabulous. And here, all this time - I thought the fact that I sucked dick and fucked guys is what made me “gay”. Now I have to be politically correct? I have to be an activist that takes into account the needs of the whole gay society? Good Lord, that’s a lot of pressure for a person like me. To be even more clear, I am a somewhat selfish, narcissistic individual that would rather slowly bleed to death than listen to your stance on politically correct terms for fags, dykes, and racial terminology.  

What is “gay”? Is it just two guys that date? Is it just two guys that have sex?  Is it just same-sex relationships in general? What is the answer? Is there even a solidly and widely recognized answer? I know that in our nation’s wave of “political correctness”, we have determined that each soul is unique and special like a snowflake. Pshaw! Screw that. I want real, hard, gritty, soul-stirring answers.

I mean, have we watered down our heritage so that we can finally come and sit and the “grown up” table at this stirred and blended American Family Reunion? Is it really boiling down to the fact that it’s just same-sex love? If that’s all we’ve become as gay people, that seriously - what has become of us? In the world post-Dawson’s Creek’s first male to male kiss on prime time, and post-Will & Grace, which showed us as funny, loveable sitcom characters that were just as flawed and normal as the next hetero - what IS our gay society? Don’t quit on me yet, Reader… Please don’t dumb this down. I know it’s a deeper subject than normal, but it’s something that’s worthy of thought. In all seriousness, and besides the scorching hot debate over homosexuality and civil rights, what has become of the trendiness and upward mobility of gay men… of our ‘DINK’ status? Has our desire to mainstream and have pseudo-equal rights somewhat crippled us from being the fabulous and wildly exotic creatures we were ‘born’ to be? IS it our environment after all?!?? After years of preaching to everyone that we are “just like you”, have we become just as dull and droll as those straight people we were born to help out of bad hair and fashion?

What is it to be gay in this “post-coming-out” era? For one thing, coming out used to be a process. It was important to look inside yourself, determine your sexuality, and come right on out. In the 80s and 90s, you would come out, it would mark you somewhat in society and you would live your life. Openly, if you were brave enough and had the support that was needed. And if not openly, you were forced into the closet for whatever reasons. Don’t forget that not so long ago, it wasn’t trendy or popular to be gay or bisexual, or curious, or an ally. It was something that we were raised to be ashamed of. It was something we were told that made us different, and less-than, and abomination. Yawn. But, for the brave souls that were visible, and chose to be counted as homosexual and especially for those gay men that went before me, the struggles of the 1970’s and 1980’s were not in vain. My own coming out in the mid-nineties was not a difficult thing for me personally. I saw so many friends go through difficult struggles with their families. Unnecessary struggles that tore them apart and even made some commit suicide or turn to substances to take their minds and hearts elsewhere, all because of misconceptions and the lies of men.

It is really sad when the sole purpose of some politicians and clergy are to demonize and create a horrific misrepresentation of a people. It’s painful to so many. And it scares many gay people and the lies, the rhetoric, and the “fight” tires them out. They don’t want to discuss their lives and educate their families and friends that believe the lies and pandering to political groups and lobbyists for the extreme right. But, I say, “Educate yourself. Take the time to know who and what you are. Know what your opponent is saying about you and be prepared to back up your rebuttal.” Even more personally, I say, “Bring it on!” Why, MichaelK, why would you say that and poke a sleeping bear, or pick a fight? Well, Gentle Reader, I say that because we used to be fabulous enough to make them cower in shame and fear. They knew they didn’t know that much about us. They knew that even though they looked down on us, they were intrigued and perplexed and somewhat entranced with our ability to keep right on being ourselves, being fabulous, and being brave under their localized terrorism and tyranny. We were hidden away and had better style, better hair, better wit, and were generally just better. But we’ve become so transparent and we’ve lessened our standards. We’ve been begging for equality so much, that we forget that on so many levels… gay men outrank, outshine, and just out-do straight men almost on every level and just about every day of the week. It’s sad to me that now they seem so comfortable to use us. They let us work for their political campaigns and style them for their TV debates. They want us with them WHILE they hate us and abuse us. Stockholm Syndrome, much? I’m saddened and moved to righteous anger that we, as gay people, just seem to want to cower, and do the status quo and fit in, rather than fight, demand our rightful and respectable seat at the table and stand out as the amazing creatures God created us to be.

Gentle Reader, please, please don’t stop reading just yet. I know this seems like I am just on one of my high horses, but let me further explain. Honey, we are everywhere. And I mean, literally, everywhere. We always have been.

• Fashion – check.
• Hair and coiffure – check.
• Makeup – check.
• Sports – check.
• Professional careers – check.
• Actors, movies, TV – check.
• Music, singers, bands – check.

I mean, seriously, I can personally name dozens if not hundreds of people in each category. Some are great friends on a personal level. Some are celebrities I’ve come across in my life and travels. Some have come out years ago amidst great turmoil and at personal risk and expense. When I think back to one of my own heroes, Ellen DeGeneres… she came out at a time when it was NOT okay, NOT accepted and she paid for it with her TV show, her reputation, and her career. But because of that, I celebrate and embrace her deserved success and longevity for being honest, brave, and a role model. Today’s noted celebrities either act like it is no big deal (which we’ve been fighting for, but have not quite achieved legally or popularly) and they act like those that DID make something of it didn’t pave the way for them to enjoy their current successes. Or they think that it’s still important to state it and be counted, a ‘la Anderson Cooper, which I respect for his statement that while it is NOT a big deal to be gay, in today’s society, it IS important to be counted.

If it’s hereditary, then why in the world are so many of us begging for little Asian babies and trying to prove we are no better than the sloppy redneck couple down the street? Have we already stooped so low in our fight for equality and civil rights that we finally believe we are equally as lame? Equally as slobbish and mundane? Que Pedestrian!!! For years, we assured ourselves that our persecution was because we WERE better. We knew that she looked horrible in her ensemble to go to Wal-Mart and we knew our life’s mission was to be better, more fabulous, have better clubs, restaurants, and salons. We were metro, way before the straight men decided to work out, get ripped, and use mousse and gel. We knew the names of those bitches stomping down catwalks before they were ever on a reality show with that five-headed Tyra! WE were the ones that kept Tom Ford, Yves St. Laurent and Comme de Garcon in business during a freaking recession!!! Not some tired piece of snatch on Project Runway and that awful orange queen sitting beside her!!

The harsh truth of the matter is: we, the gays, ARE better at most things...

Perhaps we are just plain lucky to be gay. Maybe we are really the ones that got the lottery. Let’s face it, I’ll never have to call my mother to tell her to plan a shotgun wedding because I “accidentally” got some ho knocked up. I’ll always be able to help her in a pinch when it comes to party planning, to catering, how to complete the look for her new den, and to catch her up on the latest gossip! I’ll know how to dress her and light her when she’s older and how to coif her hair and make her just as pretty. God knows none of her other kids will. (No offense you guys, but seriously… it would have always been me.) Or, maybe I’m just nostalgic. Maybe I miss the days when being gay gave you a freedom to be unique and exotic and wildly imaginative in your wardrobe, your style, your personality. We felt more free to create a persona and flaunt it. Once you were out, you were just out, and there was no need to be timid or afraid or even… respectable. But now… NOW we all want to be LL Bean and Ralph Lauren copycats and join the local clubs and have tame dinner parties. I’ll pass. Hell, maybe I just miss youth… and beauty… I miss painting myself gold and wearing a sheer curtain as a toga for Halloween, or a random Saturday night on the town. Or just for no reason.

The harsh truth of the matter is: we, the gays, ARE better at most things. Those of us in our thirties and older were raised in a time when coming out was still something that HAD to be done and it was hard to do. It was something that set you apart and made you have some community and solidarity within that community. Yes, honey, we may scratch and eat our own because of our bitchiness, but like any family… “I can do that… YOU breeders CAN’T, and I’ll cut your horribly dressed titty with an old spork if you try it.” We are better because we were told all of our lives that we were lesser. We tried harder, we accomplished more, we got better grades, honed our chosen paths and made ourselves and our lives better. As, Gay men, we are always picking some broad shouldered, brassy, big balled broad to put on a pedestal. Why?? Why do we love a Joan Crawford, Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Madonna?? We try to emulate them, to capture their struggle and make ourselves better and come out on top just the same. We pick ourselves up from the ditch by our bootstraps and we hold our heads high. All while being considered something unnatural or less-than, or even an abomination. (None of which are true…)

What is it to be gay now? Emphasis is on the now. It’s a post-coming-out world where we are told we are not quite equal, but not quite special. We are told that we can have separate but equal partnerships, but that we are still not spiritually on even footing with God. We are told all of these lies still. We are told to blend in, to fit the mold, to be average. Fuck that. I tried harder, I did better. If I failed, I practiced, learned, honed and did better. I succeeded. I’ve been low, and I’ve picked myself up. Fuck that. What is it to be gay now? I am getting more and more to the point to where I am more and more happy with who and what I’ve become. Just a part of me registers as gay, but it’s not insignificant, and it’s not something that society doesn’t notice. And it's not something they don't make a judgement or acknowledgement of. I won’t pretend anything differently.

Cheers

#JustBeingMichael