This is the second blog in a series of finding your
contentment. In the first part, The Secret of Contentment – Part One, I was
(upon re-reading it) somewhat negative. And it can read like it was imploring
you to believe the worst in everything. And, after careful review, I was still
completely correct; if however, a bit blunt and straightforward. Also, notice I
said this is about “finding” your contentment. Contentment isn’t made, like
there is a recipe; it’s found. It’s already there; like it’s buried treasure. Obviously,
I get impassioned when I speak about topics, but I like passion.
[I like loving life again. Being close to the
grave will do that to you.]
I like being “involved” in my own life. That
makes me happy – makes my life an enjoyable and never-boring endeavor. It’s
better to be involved than to feel like your life is unmanageable and that you
are just drifting along a current, which you can’t do anything except hold on
and worry. But, I am beginning to understand that not everyone operates that
level of activity, care, and that level of interest. I even “get” why. It can
be quite exhausting to always be high-functioning. But, being that involved and
doing the things I do are part of my contentment. It reminds me that I am no
longer a passive viewer of my life. I don’t merely watch what others do to me,
and then wonder why I feel powerless. I don’t merely allow the course of my
life to be directed by external circumstance, and then wonder why I feel lost
and confused. William Carey was a great preacher that noted, “Expect great
things FROM God. Attempt great things FOR God.” I love that. When you are
active in your life, you become better informed about your life.
[Re-read that.]
Yes, when you take part in your life, you are
better informed. You make better decisions. You make better choices. You lay
the foundation to be content… even if you are not “there,” you can be content
in the journey towards your goals. However, aimless drifting? No. No plans or
cares about where you end up? No. No way to have system of “roots” in family
and friends to support you and remind you of who you really are? No. Like Carey
implied, God will give you great things. You will do great things. Believe
that. Live like that. Once you do, you’ll be amazed at the things that start
happening in your life and the sense of self, sense of purpose and sense of
contentment that flood you, and your situation.
I will further use this to elaborate my point: “But,
Michael, how can we be content in this day and age? If you are not
exceptionally thin, ultra-rich or uber-talented… you can hang it up. Right?”
Wrong. In the age where everything is a superlative, is anything really
special? Everyone takes a picture of every meal and every cup of coffee and
posts it. They claim it’s the BEST they have ever had. Most people live in such
un-noticed luxury that they don’t realize they get depressed when they live a
“normal” day. If you just get up, pray, eat breakfast, go to work, eat lunch,
go to work, go to happy hour, meet friends, go home, eat dinner, clean your
house and get ready to do it all over again… THAT is suddenly drudgery. That
USED to be the American Dream. Now, if you are not strikingly good looking,
eating, drinking and wearing the best and taking a private car to a friend’s Lear
and jetting off to some exotic locale, then your life isn’t great and you are
not “successful.” And I buy that to a degree. I balk when I fly coach. I balk
when I have to wait more than four minutes for a gourmet coffee that used to be
my whole week’s lunch money. We look at what media sells us as the top of
success. That’s a minimum of looking a certain way, making a certain amount of money;
living is a certain amount of square footage, and then UPPING that amount
annually. We raise the bar every year so that where we were a few years ago
(perfectly happy with our lives and friends) we would now not be content. Some
might say, “Michael, you have to strive for more, for better, right?”
If you read the first part of this, I leave us
with hope in Christ after I point out a pretty bleak landscape. But, let’s take
this down a notch… from national politics and personal responsibility for
national epidemics in murder, morality, and finance to your church experience,
to your personal experience.
We, as a people lash out at society because we
are unhappy personally. We crave attention, recognition, and we want to be
involved. But, involvement is something that isn’t always a “right.” Sometimes
you need to earn your recognition. And what if you don’t get what you feel you
“deserve.” What of your contentment then? What is your motivation? What is your
initial drive? How and why you begin something will lay the foundation for the peace
you experience during any project, and will also drive the contentment you feel
upon completion.
--Do you have to feel heard?
--Are your voice and your opinion the only
“right” one(s)?
--Do you need to have your vision accomplished
for the project to be a success?
I ask these for very pointed reasons. Whether in
business, in the organization of a church, or even in your social circles…
people take these things seriously. People, yes, need to feel heard. But that’s
from a managerial standpoint and ensuring that you value people. That’s HR and
business 101. But there is a converse… why volunteer if your main goal is
recognition? Why let pride and the need to be in control be the reason you feed
hungry people? Why let the need to feel valued and talented be the reason you
simply MUST be a praise singer, even if you miss one Sunday a month and there
are faithful, more talented singers that would truly worship vs. be on
platform? Why let your service be diluted? Re-ask yourself those same
questions:
--Do you “have” to feel heard? Or are you
content within yourself that you are on your best path? Do you need that
validation, or can you have the confidence in yourself that you have given your
best?
--Are your voice and your opinion the only
“right” one(s)? Do you accept collaboration? Are you open to others’ advice or
opinions? If you are not open, why? What is empty inside you that you must be
the savior of a project? What is driving the need for you to have the only
valid opinion?
--Do you need to have your vision accomplished
for the project to be a success? If things that are not your way, or your
vision for a project, a ministry, an outing, where to go eat, what movie to
watch, where to vacation, etc… if any of the things are not your vision, why is
that wrong? Not just finding consensus and realizing that we must all
compromise from time to time, but if it must always adhere to your way, why?
There is something missing if you need that constant control to be content.
I say something is missing because there are
people that cannot function if any kind of deviation is taken. You ask for a
day off, the boss says, we need you this day, but here is another. That’s never
good enough. Or, you offer to do x, y, and z at church, but they have plenty of
people that volunteered for that. So, can you help here? No, no… that’s not
what they want to do. I suppose I could say this: Not EVERY person is meant for
EVERY ministry. Contentment is not only doing your best, but knowing your
place. I will never be happy teaching children’s church. I’d rather go ahead on
and be crucified with the Lord than wipe noses, explain why sharing is
important or pretend that a handprint is a turkey. Literally, I’ll just go
ahead to Glory. Now, if God called me to do it, and God convicted my heart, and
God put that in my path… I’d do it. And if, in fact, there was a vacancy and I
was asked to help, then I would. But WHY would God make a hand or an eye be a
foot? Somebody that loves children, can answer 8072 questions about why, why,
why, and would be a perfect fit would be God’s best choice. Likewise, I have
talents to do lots of things, and when called upon or asked, I do them. That’s
what God expects. And then there are your callings. When God calls you do
something, you may not love it in your own strength, or your flesh, but you may
love that you feel like you are in God’s will. That may be motive enough. I say
all of that to say this… you’ll be content, if you know where you are supposed
to be, and you are working to be there. I don’t love to sing tenor, but I get
put there a lot. Why? I can hear tenor and sing it. I’d rather sing lead or
bass. I don’t love piano, but I play piano a lot. I am good at piano. I am
better at piano than keys, strings, or organ. However, I LOVE to play organ.
Organ music is my passion. I could listen to it on recordings, I could play it,
I can hear it live. It touches me. It’s something I just lean in towards. But
generally, I am usually singing or playing piano. I LOVE to be in small group
Bible study and talk for hours at coffee shops, but I’m usually in choir or on
the road… And God uses me daily on the road to reach people I’d normally never
reach. So, do I pout? Do I complain? No. It’s not about me, or my preference,
or even my “likes.” It’s not about you. I don’t just absolutely LOVE doing
technical reviews of systems, but it’s something I’m good at, so it usually
just gets handed to me, regardless of the team I’m working with. Working where
you are needed and filling needs are not always something that we are
passionate about. It’s not always this thing where we run through a field of
flowers, feeling fresh, and the temperature is 72 degrees with the perfect
sunny day and low UV, and minimal cloud cover and… and… and…
[Nothing is perfect, nothing is set.]
But… are you where you need to be? I didn’t say “want.”
Are you… YOU… where YOU need to be? If you are not where you need to be, are
you moving towards where you need to be? There is no failure in not being there
yet, because you can’t have failed until you are in the grave, having never
been where you should have. But, that’s not my point. My point is… are YOU
taking an active part in the direction of YOUR life? Are you working towards
your callings, your passions? Or are you only stressing? Do you get stressed
and worried over whether every whim and like you have are filled?
[Shut up, Michael.]
You know exactly what I mean. You did a great
job on a report at work. You did your part perfectly, and your team members did
great on theirs. The project gets kudos. Is the team getting a “good job” good
enough? Or do you need to be called out and recognized? I know people that will
need a plaque of recognition and to be especially noted, or they will literally
talk about it for the next one hundred meetings. We all like recognition, and
we all like words of affirmation, but you need to take a realistic look at
yourself… if you are a team member, and the team gets kudos… that’s yours, too.
Or if you were the leader, or contributed significantly more, I could see
wanting it. But usually, those people share the recognition anyway. As a
leader, I always pass credit to the team, I couldn’t do it all without them. Contentment
is not complicated. Contentment is knowing that you are doing what you are
supposed to be doing, when you are supposed to be doing it, and doing your best
at that. You will not be content, and you should not be content if you are
calling in your performance, and allowing every circumstance to buffer you about
your own course of life. But, don’t despair. Contentment is possible. It’s
attainable, but it’s not cheap, it’s not free, and it’s not something you trip
and fall into.
[What do you mean it’s not cheap?]
The most expensive thing you can do is take
responsibility for yourself. It’s hard. It costs time, effort, and sweat. But
you have to take responsibility for yourself. Granted, and I mean this
facetiously, but there is a grain of truth, “It’s not your fault you want to
sin, you were born sinful.” That is a true statement. It is NOT your fault you
want to sin. Sin is fun. Sin is abundant. Sin is prevalent. Sin is readily
available. God understands that you are sinful… God understands this so much that
He prepared multiple ways over the passage of time to reconcile your sinful
nature with Him. He made a garden. Nope, we couldn’t do that. We need that fruit
from that tree and we needed that confirmation. Granted, I don’t delve into the
complex theological issues at work there. There are HORDES of people that blame
God anyway. Yet, regardless of what happened, and regardless of the blame game
and the fact that HE receives the majority of the ire and vitriol from this, He
reached out and created a system by which he had a people. God still reached
out. They were HIS people. And we still couldn’t cope. Thanks, God, for the
system of sacrifice, and thanks for claiming us and working with us, but… how
about no. We heard about the garden and we are pissed. So, He wiped the face of
the Earth clean. He repopulated and worked with mankind to establish boundaries
and work through prophets. We killed them. We rejected them. We stoned them. He
was silent. He “took a break” from His relationship with man, if you will.
Well, we didn’t like that either. So, “his” people decided they’d set up some
rules, and see who could be the best. But, it turns out, that Type-A-law-lovers
did not mind learning the rules and pointing out every behavior that our
neighbor could not abide.
[NOTE: Have you ever stopped to consider if the
Pharisees were happy? Were they happy with their prayer shawls, special knots,
and rules? Do you think they enjoyed the ritual, or did they long for a
relationship? What was the need to watch every law, but not have it inside?
Lots of people follow the rules, but they don’t have the relationship. You may
have a standard, but do you have the substance?]
God, regardless of omniscience, created a system
by which to atone for sin. And think about how that feels. You people in bad
relationships know how that feels. When your partner or spouse is cheating and
you know it. You KNOW something is coming. Something bad is coming, but you can’t
stop it. You can’t control them, they won’t be honest, they lie, and you feel
it. You know it. But it just keeps coming. God knew we’d cheat on him. God knew
we’d abandon Him, not the other way around. Nope, we couldn’t keep up. He saw
our struggle. He saw that we could not make it. Enter Jesus. Enter the divine,
holy, eternal Creator wrapped in flesh. God came to Earth, lived as a man
through Jesus and became the ultimate atonement for our sin and separation from
God. We, lost and hopeless, cannot become good enough within ourselves. You
will never be content if you think YOU have the power to save yourself. You
will never be content if you think YOU have to change yourself, and become
“good enough” to commune with God. You will ruin your efficiency and
affectability within the Kingdom of God if you think YOU have any worth in and
of yourself. Your contentment will be based in the flesh, and you will never be
satisfied. You can’t grow your hair long enough, you can’t be strict enough,
you can’t have enough liberty, you can’t prove that you don’t have to obey man,
you can’t prove that you do, you and your ideas and your thoughts and your
efforts and your results will NEVER be the answer. If you only depend on YOUR
strength, you will fail. God is the answer. God has the power. God has the
reason.
Your contentment is based on the fact that, even
though unworthy, you are loved.
Your contentment is based on the fact that, even
though unwarranted, you are saved.
Your contentment is based on the fact that, even
though unmerited, you are favored.
Yet, we want an out for the blame of sin. We
blame God for our nature. We blame Eve, because surely… it’s her fault that we
are in this mess, right? Or, let’s blame Adam. He should have led his family better
or maybe if he had Adam, or a combination. Feminists will always say Eve got a
bad rap. Men feel justified in saying that it’s a woman’s fault that we all
don’t live in paradise and run around “nekkid.” But that’s high level. You
don’t want to submit to a pastor, because he’s only human, even though God uses
humans to accomplish the divine.
[Okay.]
You don’t want to follow personal convictions
because they are inconvenient – even though no one has forced anything on you.
That’s why they are called “personal” convictions. You don’t want standards of
holiness because you feel they are man-made to make women suffer – so you
follow them but you are bitter and might as well be running the aisles in
thongs and cut hair if that’s your attitude. Sacrifice and standards mean
nothing without substance behind them. Just like substance can be there, but if
you feel even a twinge of conviction… you should have some real, hard talks
with God about what you need to do in your life. But we are told NONE of this
is our own fault, our own problem. We carry no responsibility. Why do we even
preach repentance for sin, if we don’t really commit sin? Why should we talk
about how “we try hard and that’s what matters” when the fact is. Your
thoughts, your beliefs, and your hope does not equal what you DO. What you DO
matters. What you DO is what is real. We distance ourselves from the
confrontation and the difficult. If God comes on too strong, we chalk that up
to “bondage” and need a pill to calm the anxiety we feel. I know several
holiness, pure-blood, born and raised, xth-generation Pentecostals that can’t
make it through a service without a mood stabilizer. They don’t love it. They
don’t want it. And that’s not contentment. That nagging feeling in the back of
our minds… we can’t name it, we cannot pinpoint what is causing it, we just
feel “off.” Something is amiss. Something is not right.
[Duh. It’s God.]
We’ve been told that it’s some type of
instability, anxiety, or even just that we can’t focus. But, you think your
conscience is just an overactive guilt complex that society made? Will taking that
pill really help you? Do you think that voice from God, guiding you is
insanity? I mean, you really know what this is, right? There is a difference
between someone that is truly mentally ill (that needs meds), and someone that
is just too ill-equipped and lazy to confront their own emotions and internal
relationship with themselves and with God. And you have to be confident in know
that difference. How will we EVER be content in this world, in this chaos? How
can we find any peace and contentment when everything we are surrounded by is
built to make us unhappy with ourselves and need to spend money we don’t have
to buy things we don’t need to fill voids we can’t fill to find peace we can’t
create? We can’t. We won’t. Not of ourselves and not “within” ourselves. But I
am going to go through Philippians chapter 4 and show you that regardless of
your circumstance, regardless of your situation, regardless of where you find
yourself – you can be content. You can have peace.
ツ✔ Cheers, #JustBeingMichael ツ
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