Thursday, September 13, 2012

Accountability Is Key...

If something is broken, fix it.
If you have a broken item, that cannot be fixed, get rid of it.
If something is hurting, mend it.
If you have a hurt item, that cannot be mended, end it.
That seems elementary. That seems like common "horse sense." But it isn't. We are barraged with images and with ideals that our society has become too quick to discard things. And we have. There are more divorces than ever. It's at an all time high. There are more relationships that end, and some for no more reason than a misunderstanding. Today, there is more pollutions, trash, and "thrown away" items than ever before. We ARE a society that wants things instantly, becomes bored or un-impressed even faster than that, and we are quick to discard, leave, abandon, and divorce at a rate that could make even the most jaded cynic blink.

Is that a bad thing?
Yes, and no. Selfish and senseless abandon are not great qualities. And our society today makes it more tolerant to do such "because it makes us happy." But, there are things to be said for working through relationships, mending friendships, fixing broken heirlooms, practicing and working to be better at sports, work, and acheiving our goals. Those are honorable and great things. They are just increasingly rare qualities in our society. But there are times when things cannot be fixed, cannot be mended, and cannot be overcome. There are times to honestly admit that, and honorably find a way to move on to the greater good in your life. There is absolutely no benefit to holding onto the bad things. Old things. Broken things. Dead things. Outdated things. If you cannot fix it, why are you hoarding it? If you can fix it, why haven't you? What is the fear and procrastination that are preventing that?

Proverbs 13:9: "The righteous are like a light shining brightly; the wicked are like a lamp flickering out."
I want to be righteous. I want to be a light to others and I wanto to shine. Brightly. But, that's hard to do if you are clouded, burdened, and distracted. You cannot fulfill your directives and destiny, if you are carrying the the discarded and broken things of other people's expectations, disappointments, and baggage. And that means your family, your friends, your lovers, and your internal voice. Those burdens are not yours to bear. Life goals, life goals, life goals...  You cannot reach them and become what you were meant to be if you are hoarded down with old broken things you will never use. And there are times to stop, back up, fix whatever needs fixing, and keep going... and there are times to know that something is irrevocably damaged and move on. I struggle with that decision repeatedly. The only advice I have is to pray for guidance and wisdom to know those situations.

In my own life, I've had to make the decision on which path to take - I've had to determine what I thought could be done with situations. Could they be fixed, mended, or patched together? Or did they need to be discarded? It's never an easy call. Especially when other people are concerned. But, I've had to apologize, and eat a little crow before to save a friendship. I've had to, also, end friendships that after some evaluation, I determined to be something I didn't need to have in my life. I've had to work with lovers and patch things up in relationships, and I've had to end relationships. I've had to relegate and compartmentalize people so that I didn't depend on them or think of them as certain labels (lover, family, friend, acquaintance) or of a type (trustworthy, wary, sneaky) so that the actions of peopel would not either cause me to be dependent on them or would not disappoint me. If you expect nothing, you are not let down when they deliver nothing. (The flip side is - that's a sad way to be... but sometimes necessary).

The truly wonderful thing in my own life is that I have friends and family I trust implicity to hold me accountable to my new life goals. There are very few I can say that about these days, but a man can count himself lucky if he has even one friend, right? I have more than that, and am doubly-blessed. I need the accountability - to keep me honest, and to call me out not only for the physical goals, but the emotional goals. There is now a formal and definite exercise plan in place. There is a a formal and definite nutrition/food plan in place. For those I've told about my health issues - there is a formal and definite plan in place for the upcoming surgery vs. pills. I'm still not sure I want surgery, but either way, it's being handled. There is NOT one yet for the smoking and drinking cessation and moderation plan. But, there will be. (Roma no se construyó en un día, no?!)

Not to mention the exciting and new career opps I am getting. I can't believe much of this is even coming my way. Still, all of this is still going to be a work in progress. As of yet, there are no set plans for the [in]famous attitude and snark. Also, as an afterthought (it should be a given, but just in case) there are no set plans to not be a vocal participant in my own life and the course of my nation. It IS election season, after all. And that's enough rambling about me for today. 

#JustBeingMichael ツ

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